Lesley in Hong Kong

Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander

 

 

I saw this and thought "It must mean me?"

Hooked by this title I read on...  to a point it is very true and full of witertaining observations from a white, western point of view although it is based on the assumption that all white people live in America and have an affinity to Canada so that part fell on stony ground for me, and to some extent also assumes a maleness and even possibly an under 40sness.  I'm just saying!

He has a website also full of wise words about 'stuff' Stuff White People Like and if you like that you might also like a quick surf at White Whine.com A Collection of First-World Problems  which puts 'stuff' into perspective for those rich spoilt brats out there.

Here is a snippet from SWPL

Outdoor Performance Clothes

As white people get older, they like to have clear boundaries between their professional and personal lives.   They don't mind talking about their personal life at work, but they hate talking about their work life when they are enjoying a weekend or vacation.  But with BlackBerry's and laptops, white people could be working anywhere, at any time.  So how do you know when they are off the clock?  It's easy;  just check their clothes.

When white people aren't working, they generally like to wear outdoor performance clothes.  The top suppliers of these garments and accessories include North Face, REI, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Columbia Sportswear and Patagonia.  When you see white people wearing these brands, it is important that you do not discuss business matters.  Instead you should say things like 'Where did you get that fleece?" and "What's that thing holding your keys to your shorts?" White people will be more than happy to talk to you about their sustainably produced possessions.

The main reason white people like these clothes is that they allow them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park.  It could be 4:00pm on a Saturday when they might get the call. "Hey, man, you know what we need to do?  Kayak then camping, right now.  I'm on my way to get you.  There is no time to change clothes."

Though this is unlikely that they will ever receive this call, white people hate the idea of missing an opportunity to enjoy outdoor activities just because they weren't wearing the right clothes.

If you plan on spending part of your weekend with a white person, it is strongly recommended that you purchase a jacket or some sort of 'high-performance' T-shirt, which is like a regular shirt, just a lot more expensive.

How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

I feel it has become acceptable to criticize men much more so than it is to criticize women.  Having a pair of tits is not the funniest joke in the world any more but making generalizations about maleness (can't multi task, can't ask for direction, useless at remembering anniversaries blah blah blah) is more than acceptable and I don't like it.  Men - the truth I don't believe it is good enough to pass off horrible behaviour in the classroom as 'its because he is a boy'.  Horrible behaviour is horrible regardless of gender.

A feminist book

So it was with trepidation that I picked up a feminist book called 'How to be a Woman' because I thought it might be another opportunity of cheap man knocking.  I was wrong.  It turns out that me and Caitlin Moran think almost the same about a long list of issues.

Investment Handbags  are just wrong

There are a whole load of vacuous so called symbols of femininity that I don't get. Gel nails with sparkles, long hair, OK Magazine and shopping or even worse shopping with friends, having more than one handbag, having a handbag that costs the same as a car!  Moran is of the opinion that having an 'investment' handbag is total nonsense.  I totally agree.  A bag is meant to carry things around (not small dogs) and with luck matches your outfit, so don't be sucked in by the global marketing techniques that matches a stick insect woman with an ugly handbag.  Expensive equals good does it?   NO!  And if you think otherwise then you'll have to be satisfied with the fact that I am right and you are wrong!

The modern wedding

The average cost of a wedding is 25,000 pounds.  That is a shocking amount of money and I blame the conveyor belt mentality on advertising and reality tv. Conveyor belt meaning that the couple get whisked along on a spending spree of what they think is expected of them and the belt keeps on moving them along until they wave good bye to all the guests to boogie the night away at the reception.  After that is when the shock of managing their budget month to month, paying a mortgage and bringing up children they wish they'd used that money on something more practical. Moran feels the same and she talks so much sense on the subject. Set up surprise proposals and having a wedding planner, matching table centre pieces and bridesmaids is not real.

Superfluous Hair

The removal of hair from various parts of the body for very confusing socially acceptable or unacceptable reasons has become the norm and Moran's theory is this new fashion is fuelled by the easy access of porn via the internet where hair has been eliminated for the sake of a good shot (if you pardon the expression).  I too have expressed my opinion about hair in a previous blog Superfluous Hair so you can see that I should have written this book and become as rich and famous as Ms Moran.

Caitlin has become my hero, she loves her husband and her children, loves femine clothes and particularly underwear, but not high heels.  I think her description of  the birth of her first child sounds like a horror story although she got it all right the second time.  I felt rather smug at this point in the book because I got it right on the first go - I have no horror story about child birth.  I had two text book, natural births with no drama invovled and didn't feel the need to utter expletives throughout the experience.

It is so funny

I encourage you all, male or female, to read How to be a Woman because it made me laugh an incredible amount (there is a sad, controvertial bit, be warned).   She does say towards the end that she still doesn't know how to be a woman because she hasn't yet reached the menopause, had teenage children or experienced the death of a parent so I guess I must be ahead of her about learning how to do it.

Mountain Bike Adventure - Lhasa to Kathmandu August 2011

 

 

Lhasa to Kathmandu by Fred Croft

Through Tibet on a bike - a journey not a destination by Fred Croft

 Last August HB embarked upon a most challenging cycle ride starting in Lhasa in Tibet and ending in Kathmandu in Nepal taking in some of the highest mountain passes in the world and also Everest Base Camp.  He covered a distance of 1100km in 18 days and came back 'lighter'.

 

Click on the link which will take you to www.blurb.com a self publishing website where you can preview the book and then place an order.  Its a beautiful coffee table hard back edition containing many breath-taking photographs capturing the experience.

 

Tom Wood Painter

Tom posing next to his portrait of Prince Charles in the National Portrail Gallery in London

 

Here is a link to Tom Wood's new book show casing some beautiful paintings of recent times.

It's produced on a site called Blurb, you can have a look through the virtual pages and then place an order if you so wish.

 

Tom Wood's new book

 

Tom Wood Artist

Click on the link above to read Tom's blog.

 

 

 

 

The Help by Katheryn Stockett

 

Enter a vanished world: Jackson, Mississippi, 1962.  Where black maids raise children but aren't trusted not to steal the silver...

That is the tag line for The Help by Katheryn Stockett

A story about coloured maids who are brave enough to trust one white women who wants them to tell her what its really like to work for a white family and look after their children while living in a racially discriminated society.  The stories are collated into a book that the authors cannot openly put their name to because they fear for their security and their lives.  

The backdrop is the civil rights movement where radical new ideas of integration and equality were being forced into the consciousness of the USA by Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and President Kennedy. 

That was in 1962.

Meanwhile here in 2011 in Hong Kong philipina maids are essential to the economy of the country but they experience discrimination.  They cannot drive, they cannot do any other type of job, they can ONLY be domestic helpers.  Other nationalities can apply for permanent residency after being in Hong Kong for seven years, but not if you are a philipina maid.

The following is from a website called Legal News, Hong Kong Lawyer 

Filipino maid challenges HK legal system over residency laws

January 2011

'A Filipino maid is challenging Hong Kong’s immigration laws in a bid to gain Hong Kong citizenship. Evangeline Banao Vallejos has filed a writ in the Court of First Instance seeking a review of the decision by authorities not to grant her permanent residency status. Vallejos has lived and worked in Hong Kong as a domestic helper for
24 years. Under Hong Kong law, non-Chinese people are entitled to permanent residency if they have ‘ordinarily resided’ in Hong Kong for a continuous period of seven years. However, the Immigration Ordinance (Cap 115) specifically excludes foreign domestic helpers from being treated as being ‘ordinarily’ resident. A human rights law firm, which is acting for Vallejos, argued that this section of the law is discriminatory and contrary to Art 24 of the Basic Law. If the challenge – on the grounds that the policy is unconstitutional under the Basic Law – is successful, 250,000 domestic helpers could apply for permanent residency once they have been in the city for seven years continuously'

 

Philippines Hails Landmark Maids Treaty

 

UPDATE  2nd October, 2011

 

Hong Kong Maid wins right to apply for permanent resident status.

The Internet and me, a work in progress.

Dumber

Does the internet make us stupid?

It seems quite hypocritical of me to write a blog which is anti Google.  To write anything and publish it on the internet for all to share and read while at the same time be full of doubt and worry and concern about whether it makes us stupid could make me stupid too?

 But I am genuinely worried.

 
Click Here

Is the capability of finding information at the click of a button  really the best way to run ones life?

 Who is Accountable?

The number one question has to be about trust.  Do you trust the information you are taken to?  Is it up to date?  Is it ethical?  Is it accountable?  Newspapers can be taken to Court for slander or liable if they do not report the truth.  They are accountable whatever you think of them, even the News of the World  or even South China Morning Post (actually I need to check that!).   But any old slapper can write an article and whack it up on a  website and pass it off as being true.  People can pretend to be someone else and actively try to hide their identity.  (My name IS Lesley Croft btw).

Close Your Lid

As a teacher of students who all have their own MacBook on their desk and have the capability of googling anything.  I suspect that they have all become completely addicted to their computers and are a bunch of slovenly layabouts who can't even do any thinking for themselves. The recent best seller by Nicholas Carr called The Shallows  suggests that the use of the internet is altering the way we think and we have become less able to digest large and complex amounts of information such as...books.  Are we now a world of 'slacktivists'.  More about Nicholas Carr

"Should we reintroduce the death penalty?" I ask my class in an attempt to spark a discussion where opinions will be flying around the room like electricity. (not meant to be a pun)

Then I find a student who has typed the question into google and sets about opening up the squillion results to find the right answer.  FGS (I'm not sure if that is a cool and hip acronym to write, like LOL, but For God's Sake comes natural to me so I feel it is worthy of a FGS).  Use your own brain I yell!  Close your lid!

Shirley Turkle has expressed much the same concerns in her book, Alone Together Why we Expect more from Technology and Less from Each Other.  Because when it boils down to it using the powerful tool that is the internet via your lap top or your blackberry or your iphone is just you, in a room alone.  You/we/me enjoy the contact and communication and sense of sharing we can get through the power of the internet.  As humans we want to share and we get immense enjoyment out of sharing.  This must be true otherwise why would Facebook or Twitter or the capability to comment on any random YouTube video be so popular?   But would we enjoy it more or less if we had that face to face communication as easily. In this world of social networking just how sociable are we really?

Hello FB Friends!  Come to my party

So if I was in a real live room with all my real live friends on Facebook would I be so keen to like them or comment on their new hat or latest holiday snaps?  I predict there would be lots of moments of awkwardness, perhaps a few stifled yawns where the latest photos of their latest meal would get the better of me.  Would I really be able to show the same enthusiasm towards their beautiful wife on her birthday.  In the past those sentiments would only be shared in a personal birthday card which would stand on the sideboard.  Now everyone gets to read it!   I would struggle to remember names.  And there would be at least one full-on-punches-and-everything-thrown fight, quite a few slanging matches not to mention one or two intimate, yet flirtatious, conversations in a few dark corners.  And because all of these people are my friends I would be responsible for such an event and be the one who is blamed for the disaster that would be a party.

Those Where The Days

In my day when there was no internet or mobile phone or even a phone in the house.   What did I do?  I watched the three available channels on the telly, once they came on in the evening.  Before that I read as many Enid Blyton books as I could get my hands on.  I knocked on the doors of my friends to see if they wanted to come out to play.  All friends lived no more than 100 yards away.  When the local paper came I read that and found out what was happening in the area approximately of a 50 mile radius of where I lived.  For a change we would walk to the chip shop, sometimes we would have money to buy chips.  When I got older and could venture to Stockton to buy music I brought home 45rpm singles and played them on repeat with the arm back on the record player so I would learn them by heart (ask me to sing Puppy Love by Donny Osmond).

You know what, it was boring compared to the information sharing, movies, music and breaking news we have available to us now so perhaps this 'real world' that many hark back to is an illusion and just never really existed?  Being in a room alone with a computer seems much more attractive to being in a room alone with a Danset record player and a Donny Osmond 45.

 

Memories of King Kowloon - Exhibition TaiKoo Place

 


  Exhibition - 20th April - 31st May 2011  10am - 8pm

  Venue - ArtisTree  1/F Cornwall House, TaiKoo Place    FREE ADMISSION

  Nearest MTR  Quarry Bay

This History behind the man

This exhibition is a well thought out informative history of one of Hong Kong's most loved graffiti artists. Long before Banksy had even cut his first stencil Tsang Tsou-choi was using traditional Chinese calligraphy, with ink and a paint brush, to write his message on public spaces for the world to read.   Of course being unable to read Chinese the message, up until now, has been lost on me. 

Royal Blood

Now that the exhibition has enlightened me I know that he thought himself the rightful royal ruler of the Kowloon peninsula and his messages demanded he should be given total rule of all of Kowloon.  He objected to Elizabeth 1 being the colonial ruler so his first messages were addressed to her.  After the handover things didn't go quite as he expected and so he had to continue painting his messages for all to see.  After 1997 they were aimed at the Chinese government and he continued to claim that he was in fact the King of Kowloon.  He was still waiting for tax to be paid to him from Donald Tsang upon his death.  Tsang never replied to his tax demand which was painted on a wall in Kowloon!

It is estimated that over 51 years of scribbling in 80 locations over Hong Kong he generated 55,845 pieces of work and used 1,170 litres of ink. 

The Exhibition

The rooms are darkened with well lit exhibits not only of his work, of which there is miles, but of various artifacts from his life that have been preserved for posterity.  Some quite mundane memorabilia such as old felt tip pens and empty ink bottles claimed to belong to the King.  G.O.D. now uses some of his ideas and sells them as trendy items in their shops.  They have an alarm clock and a t-shirt adorned with the Kings calligraphy, now hot fashion items.  Buy now while stocks last!

Space Invader

During his lifetime his fame spread around the world and he was visited by Space Invader - graffiti artist , a famous American graffiti artist who placed one of his tile designs on the wall of the old folks home where he lived.  This has now been removed and is carefully displayed.  I am reliably informed this is worth thousands these days.

Local Talent

Students from local schools have used King Kowloon as inspiration for their own work and this is also on display and well worth a look.  Who says Hong Kong students cannot be creative? 

 

 

William and Kate - Royal Wedding - 29th April, 2011

God Save the Queen.

The Official Site of The Royal Wedding

The wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton is on Friday.  Did you know?

It's at 11am british time so that makes it 6pm Hong Kong time.  How civilized.

I feel I am missing out on the celebrations and street parties because I am not in jolly old blighty.  I know I can watch wall to wall telly about 'how they met' 'who designed the dress' 'who is on the invitation list' 'how his parents met' (who were they?) etc etc but what I am missing out on is the cheap tat that will be inevitably be on sale in...I was going to say Woolworths, but that's long gone, so whatever the equivalent to Woolies is these days?  Probably ASDA or TESCO.

I am still mourning the breakage of the Charles and Diana mug that I bought 31 years ago although that drop may have been a freaky premonition.  Or just a smashed mug?

Here are some excellent examples of the William & Kate memoribilia - my personal favourite is the the William and Kate Fridge!

 

The Food for the reception

Is this the price of a stamp these days?

This beer has been created to celebrate the day.

Kiss me Kate

 Weird masks, balloons and plastic cups - everything you'll need for your street party

I am surprised I haven't seen for sale in Sai Kung.

bunting and flags

Condoms by appointment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   Well, if it was Prince Andrew it would be different.

 

Kate Middleton doll (could be full size with open mouth, not too sure)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My favourite - the fridge - a splendid addition to any modern kitchen

Knit your own Royal Wedding kit, corgis included - start now to be ready for the 29th!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is she really the girl next door?

  Love Hearts for those with a sweet tooth.

 

 

Totally chavvy nails.  A must for all slappers!

                                              Royal tea bags               Royal jigsaw puzzle

 

Top Shop Bunting Socks - a must for your big day William...

 

                                                              Isn't it K for Katherine?

This is just to remind me of the mug I smashed.

 

Weekend in Shanghai

Chen Yi, the first communist mayor of Shanghai

I have to admit to being not very well travelled when it comes to China.  I have lived in SAR for nearly ten years now but have been some how magnetically repelled from the mainland because of the horror stories I hear on a daily basis about:-

• dirty toilets
• dirty air
• dirty streets
• dirty trains

Then there is the danger angle people like to thrap on about:-

• risk of earthquake
• risk of flood

Not to mention the general physical risks of:-

• being robbed
• being in a car accident
• being swindled

Taking my life in my hands I visited Shanghai, China's most populous city to find it was none of those things and whats more I had a great time and came back all in one piece.  I enjoyed it, I felt safe and I would go back.

ART

There is lots of art to see and the first stop was Shanghai Museum of Art situated next to the People's Park.  At the moment there is an exhibition of American Print Makers and we saw famous pieces by Jasper John's and Jim Dine.  After that we headed for 50 Moganshan Road which is a higgledy piggledy complex of converted warehouses filled with a vast variety of contemporary art.  Hundreds of visitors are attracted to this area every day and as well as the art there are trendy cafes and coffee to be had.  There is also the Museum of Modern Art, a state of the art glass building inside the People's Park but at the moment it just has a cafe inside - no art.

Pervert taking photograph of young girl's legs

 

THE PEOPLE'S PARK

The People's Park itself is a myriad of life.  A well looked after garden plus a few small theme park rides, it attracts a variety of people.  Sit on the grass and enjoy your picnic.  Practise tai chi to your hearts content.  Dress up in a panda outfit and thrill the children.  Advertise your unmarried grown up children being available for marriage (there was loads of that).  Play chess.  Beg.  Stop bewildered tourists and ask them questions to practise your English then offer to take them to a tea ceremony (we had that lots of times). All very friendly and non threatening.  I was even protected from a particularly annoying beggar in the park by some Shanghai people who felt the need to keep me safe and send her on her way.  They then translated what they had said for me which was basically 'get a job and stop bothering the tourist's!

Weeeee!

WANTED - GROOM FOR MY DAUGHTER

 

NANJING ROAD

Upon arrival on Nanjing Road pedestrian street the hawkers selling copy everythingyoucanthinkof pounced but being used to it on Nathan Road the usual technique of eyes front and ignore was implemented.  Although I wasn't quite ready for the wheelie shoe sellers who zipped about on a type of roller skate wheel that can be attached to any shoe.  They obviously felt that I was in the market for wheelie shoes but I politely declined, at first, after the 8th person zipping up to me on their trendy wheels I had had enough.  That's when Fairy Land Foot Massage lit its beacon and led me up their wonderful staircase to wonderfulness.  See previous blog.

Fairyland Foot Massage, Shanghai

THE BUND

In the evening, after one of the most delicious and interesting meals of my life at Lost Heaven.  See previous blog. 

Lost Heaven

We did The Bund.  The most famous area by the river lined with magnificent historic stone built structures dating back to a time when the west had a strong influence on the city.  On The Bund side of the river are the neo classical and art deco style buildings while across the river are the futuristic modern buildings all lit up and pretty.  Having said that it was Earth Hour when we arrived which meant that most of the lights had been switched off for an hour so the impact of them all coming on again at 9.30pm was thrilling, albeit not environmentally that friendly!

JAZZ IN SHANGHAI

On The Bund is the Peace Hotel which contains a very cool jazz club.  We look our positions on high stools at the bar and enjoyed the band.  Wow!  Excellent live music.  I didn't enjoy the cigarette smoke quite so much and it was a surprise to be in a bar full of smoke these days.  There is talk that China will ban smoking in public places very soon.  Let's wait to see how it goes?  A bit more jazz after the Peace Hotel involved a taxi ride to JZ Jazz Bar, 46 Fuxing Road, near Yongfu Road which was, again filled with smoke, and a zillion more people.  It is Shanghai's hippest jazz club.  After a difficult attempt at trying to get close to the stage and being told we had to pay 500 RMB for the privilege, we moved back to the free seating and let the jazz wash over us.  Yeh daddio!

OLD SHANGHAI AND YU GARDENS

Next morning more exploring was on the itineray and a visit to Yu Gardens and Old Shanghai.  It was crowed.  Very crowded.  But very exciting and filled with atmosphere and tourists being lead around by ladies in red caps and the dreaded electric megaphone.  Oh dear!  The buildings and temples were stunning and food stalls overwhelming.  We made our way out of the more crowded tourist shuffle area down some back streets where the real people lived and enjoyed a lunch which was cooked for us as we watched.  There were ceramic dishes already prepared with the ingredients, vegetables, fish or meat or just a veggie options with noodles or rice.  Once you choose your dish it was placed over a gas flame until it bubbled and cooked everything.  I think it was the original Pot Noodle.

So I wasn't in any danger as far as I know and I now know the horror stories are just that - stories.  There was even a Marks & Spencers with a sale on with a great coat just wating for me!

 

MORE PHOTOS WILL BE POSTED SHORTLY

 

Another Year directed by Mike Leigh

THE MIKE LEIGH TECHNIQUE

I love the fact that Mike Leigh doesn't let the actors of his films have a script and the fact that he makes them develop the character themselves.  He sits them down and asks them a zillion questions about the character they will be, from what sort of breakfast did you eat as a child and how did you go to school to how you feel about your boss and how did you sleep last night.  Until the actor becomes the font of all knowledge for their character and will 'live' their character throughout their stint playing them.  Abigail's Party and Nuts in May are my favourites probably because Alison Steadman is in both of them.

BRITISH FILM IN HONG KONG

I look out for new work from Leigh and have been looking forward to seeing Another Year.  Eventually it came to Hong Kong after being released in the UK last year.  I am always keen to watch British films and adore the ordinariness of their portrayal of real life in all its mundane ways much more than the Hollywood razzmatazz. 

ANOTHER YEAR - REVIEW

World Exclusive Trailer - The Guardian

Another Year shows us the lives of Gerri and Tom, a middle-aged couple nearing retirement, and their year as the seasons change on their allotment.  Tom is a geologist and Gerri is a counsellor.  They are middle class and very comfortable in their cozy modern house and I want to tell you they have an Aga but I am not 100% sure, for arguments sake let's believe they do.  But the story is not really about them, its about their long  term friends Mary, a desperately sad and lonely woman who Gerri works with and Ken, Tom's old friend who is overweight and unhealthy with a potential drink problem.  The other character who is also taken into the kitchen (with Aga)  is Tom's brother who comes to stay after the death of his wife.

MARY

These three people are featured around the table of Gerri and Tom at various times during the year and their unhappiness is palpable. They are all in need of love and care at a time in their lives when none of them have a partner for various reasons.  Mary, in particular, is appealing to the couple for support and a slice of security in her shambolic life.  There is no doubt that Lesley Manville was utterly brilliant working in the Mike Leigh style and the audience can feel nothing but sympathy for her.

SUCH A REVOLTING COUPLE

I found the main characters of Tom and Gerri to be the most revolting  people.  They didn't entertain their friends, they merely  tolerated them.  They did not help them in any way apart  from feeding them and offering copious glasses of wine which was probably the last thing they needed.  Looking down their noses at their sad and lonely friends and just allowing them to get deeper into a  mire of self pity and mental health problems.   Gerri is the worst counsellor in the world and Tom has probably given up caring about his profession a long time ago given that retirement and more time on his allotment is looming. His sensitivity is actually cold and fake.

ORDINARILY BRITISH

It is a beautifully shot film and is British in its ordinariness, in a good way.  But I was so depressed at their lack of real care for their friends and I became more and more irritated by their superior stance of 'we are happy and you are not' attitude I wanted to take Mary and Ken and genuinely help them.  Really listen to their problems and really be supportive instead of a half arsed invitation for dinner during which nothing is really said and nothing is really changed.

 

 

Strawberry Picking - Hong Kong

Here I am snipping the strawberries

 

http://yl.com.hk/sbg/index.html

 

STRAWBERRY PICKING - SHA TAU KOK ROAD

Today I picked about 5lbs of strawberries on a pick-your-own-farm up towards Fanling in the New Territories.  In fact it's almost in China and there is the border with a policeman and a big sign saying Permit Holders Only'.  There is a big Buddhist temple on the right of Sha Tau Kok Road with many people burning paper offerings to their ancestors, some quite nice gardens with some carp swimming about although it could do with a clean and general prune.  One Buddhist temple is much like any other round these parts but this one has stalls with dried and fresh produce for sale.  The added bonus is the strawberry picking field.

My punnet (see below) cost $140 and right now I am making jam!

I would never have believed it possible but its really true.  It is strawberry picking for softies in that the plants are grown on plastic sheeting so no need to get any dirty soil on your Guccis plus they provide a handy pair of kiddie scissors for snipping the stalks.

 

A basket full of strawberries    $140 please

 As well as that I have now made organic carrot and corriander soup.  It's all good.

BREAKING NEWS - JAM IN JARS

Extra bonus addition to this blog - it is now Tuesday 5th April and the jam is now in jars.

The first attempt resulted in 4 jars of jam but it didn't set.  So I put two jars back in the pan, added apple skin and boiled for longer.  This resulted in set jam but it reduced down to only one jar.  It is yummy but in no way economical. 

The Hong Kong Literary Festival 2011 Benjamin Zephaniah

 

Benjamin Zephaniah

AN AUDIENCE WITH BEN PLUS HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN

In previous years I have seen authors talk about how they write and what they do to produce a book worthy of publication.  I am always interested in such a process having got to chapter seven of my own masterpiece but, so far, cannot find the wherewithal to continue to the end.  Authors sit in rooms with computers and write.  They usually work alone and so for the majority being in front of a large audience is not a natural environment.  Some can talk and be interesting, some can tell a story as well as write it, the opposite is sometimes, unfortunately true.  Some are not interesting and can't tell a story apart from when they are in their own room silently producing the written word.

A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

Benjamin Zephaniah is not soley a writer.  He is a performer.  Having an audience with him (and a few hundred school children) at this years literary festival was a wonderful experience.  His poetry is funny and accessable with a serious message.

I used to think nurses were women

I used to think police were all men

I used to think poets were boring

until I became one of them

 

You see what I mean?  Four lines, quite simple and straight forward but worthy of an analytical essay about the deeper meaning relating to feminism, class and stereotypical judgements in a post colonial voice.

A FUNNY MAN WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE

Zephaniah is funny.  He doesn't take himself seriously but he does take the world seriously.  His work carries a message about equality and justice for all, including turkeys.  He talks of racism and sexism and even vegatarinism.  The children were more than satisfied by his answers to their questions about what kind of car he drives to his twin sister's name and he deflected any questions about his dreadlocks, obviously he gets that a lot!

At 53 he is looking good.  I wonder if its being a rasta, being a vegan or being a kung fu expert?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH  OBE?

He was awarded an OBE but declined to accept it.  Here is the poem about that time.

 

Smart big awards and prize money
Is killing off black poetry
It's not censors or dictators that are cutting up our art.
The lure of meeting royalty
And touching high society
Is damping creativity and eating at our heart.

The ancestors would turn in graves
Those poor black folk that once were slaves would wonder
How our souls were sold
And check our strategies,
The empire strikes back and waves
Tamed warriors bow on parades
When they have done what they've been told
They get their OBE's.

Don't take my word, go check the verse
Cause every laureate gets worse
A family that you cannot fault as muse will mess your mind,
And yeah, you may fatten your purse
And surely they will check you first when subjects need to be amused
With paid for prose and rhymes.

Take your prize, now write more,
Faster,
Fuck the truth
Now you're an actor do not fault your benefactor
Write, publish and review,
You look like a dreadlocks Rasta,
You look like a ghetto blaster,
But you can't diss your paymaster
And bite the hand that feeds you.

What happened to the verse of fire
Cursing cool the empire
What happened to the soul rebel that Marley had in mind,
This bloodstained, stolen empire rewards you and you conspire,
(Yes Marley said that time will tell)
Now look they've gone and joined.

We keep getting this beating
It's bad history repeating
It reminds me of those capitalists that say
'Look you have a choice,'
It's sick and self-defeating if our dispossessed keep weeping
And we give these awards meaning
But we end up with no voice.

 

 

 

Putting it Together The Fringe Club, Hong Kong

Golden Voice Entertainment...

The cast of Putting it Together

GOLDEN VOICE

Sounds smooth doesn't it?  It just rolls off the tongue.  Say it with me "Golden Voice Entertainment" . Try again and this time think Barbara Streisand. All together - One, two, three "Golden Voice Entertainment"  Lovely isn't it?

DIRECTOR - FRINGE CLUB, HONG KONG

Michael Sharmon is the artistic director of Golden Voice Entertainment and it is actually true.  He does have a golden voice and so do the cast of Putting it Together, a Stephen Sondheim review performed at The Fringe Club in February. Once home and tucked up in bed I did a bit of googling (sounds a bit personal doesn't it?) to find that the story was creatively linked together based on previously existing songs from a number of different Sondheim musicals.  Stone me!  They all fitted together seamlessly to form a new story in its own right.  How clever. 

MUSIC

The Fringe Club is a very suitable venue for intimate shows like this with just 4 main characters up close and personal allowing us to see and feel their emotions but not allowing us to think about the uncomfortable seats.  The music was provided by two extremely experienced and talented musicians, Peter Lally on piano and Peter Scherr on double bass - terrific!  They were positioned at the back of the stage so were on view throughout.

JACQUELINE GOURLAY GRANT

The star was undoubtedly Jacqueline Gourlay Grant who played "The Wife" as well as being Musical Director.  What a woman!  I am sure that she has had a hand in many shows in Hong Kong and is a magical force on stage.  And by the way Jacqueline, great jacket.

WHAT'S NEXT?

Looking forward to the next one and thanks again to Michael Sharmon and the whole cast who take time to provide the community with such a tremendously high standard of local entertainment.  Beats that huge atmosphereless hall at the airport.

 

 

 

Educating Rita (Lesley)

Julie Walters and Michael Caine 

Educating Rita

McAulay Studio,

Wan Chai

Hong Kong

26th February, 2011

Rita - Kim Haslam

Frank - Adam Harris

THE HONG KONG CAST

Educating Rita was performed at the McAulay Studio in Wan Chai with Adam Harris as Frank, the consistently inebriated professor who is charged with Rita, a working class girl with big ideas.  Rita, played by Kim Haslam, is a hairdresser who has signed up with The Open University to get herself an education.  Frank sets about teaching literary criticism to someone with no previous knowledge and we witness the change in Rita as education starts to work.

CONVINCING DRUNKENESS

The performance of both actors, the only people on the stage during the two acts, was truly excellent from the very convincing drunkenness to the Liverpudlian accent to the dusty books on the shelves and the illusion of the window to outside.

HAIR CUT SIR?

Adam's usual hairstyle fitted the part of geriatric hippie exactly and not wanting to be rude I won't mention the beard. But I'll take a risk just in case it was grown for this part, I'm sure he won't mind if I suggest that clean shaven, shorter hair would indeed take ten years off him!

AM I RITA?

I can really relate to Rita.  I think I am her.  You see I am an Open University product but was much older than 26 before it dawned on me that getting a degree would open some doors.  No one ever burnt my books or told me to stop though, everyone was extremely supportive and I couldn't have done it without the help of my family.

OPEN UNIVERSITY

But I wonder if an education is really the way forward these days, perhaps it's not? A degree is common place and in the UK equals a debt with no guarantee of a job.  My own children are heading that way and as much as I want them to have the experience of being there and experiencing 'life' as opposed to an Open University course where you study at home being extremely self disciplined and swotty (well I was!) the chance of a job at the end seems remote in the present economic climate.

MASTERS DEGREE - IS IT WISE?

So with this in mind I have quite rashly signed up to do a Masters Degree with, you've guessed it, The Open University.  I am into my third assignment and so far have found it excruciatingly boring mind numbingly dull and sleep inducing.  My scores are only just acceptable and there are periods of time when I am forced to say no to invitations out because I have to do my reading or essay writing.

Why? Why? Why?

IF SHE CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T I?

Right now I am doubting my ability to get through this Open University course.  Last night while watching Educating Rita I found myself wondering why it is so difficult for me, after all I have no alcoholic tutor or any pressure to have a baby, no one has ever burnt my assignments and I don't have a suicidal flatmate.  Get a grip Lesley!

 

The Importance of Being Earnest - DEER Theatre, Jordan, Hong Kong

In the wilds of Jordan, Kowloon side I entered the black box that is the DEER Theatre, for a performance of The Importance of Being Earnest.  Wilde's satire on Victorian society is a frivolous and flirtatious farce which will delight the modern day audience.  It certainly left me screaming in pleasure and sometimes terror.  This highly talented group of actors did everything right in Oscar Wilde's view, so I urge everyone of you to go and see it.

Meaghan McGurgan is enthusiastically directing the play with a group of actors who have a colourful array of nationalities, backgrounds and experience.  Algernon, played by Michael Sharmon, is so convincingly aristocratic I could have slapped him and kissed him at the same time.  He is a dandy and a cad, just like Oscar Wilde, and we love him.  The other performance of note is Cecily played by Rachel L. Jacobs who is delightfully precocious and obviously deluded.  I particularly enjoyed her cat fight with Gwendolyn played by Nicole Garbellini-West and the flying cake merely added to my screaming pleasure and terror.

Everyone performed wholeheartedly and as a result the DEER Theatre have succeeded in their purpose of not being bound by trivial things such as budgets, national origin, race, gender or restrictions of space. 

Go and see it!   I guarantee you'll have a great night out and as an added bonus you can try the plethora of cheap Thai restaurants on Woosung Street.

Deer Theatre
The Importance of Being Earnest
By: Oscar Wilde
191 Woosung St. Jordan. 1st Floor
January 13th-15th
8pm
100HK at the door

 

 

 

Driving the Hong Kong way

Chaos on Hong Kong roads

EXPERIECED DRIVER

I successfully passed my driving test, first time, over 25 years ago and, therefore, have been a qualified driver since that point.  Apart from my stint in the Magic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, when I wasn't allowed to drive due to my feminine demeanor (it's true), I have been driving various vehicles on various roads since then.  I have negotiated the steep, narrow country lanes of West Yorkshire when I built up my left bicep doing scary hill starts.   I have managed snow and ice driving.  I have bumped across the desert and stopped on the motorway for camels in Bahrain where I saw enough accidents to last a life time.  I have delivered my children to parties in unknown streets and picked them up again as well as skilfully managing fastening child seats, serving Tommy tippee cups and chopped apple, singing along to child friendly music WHILE driving. 

All of this evidence means that I am a driver with experience.

GEOGRAPHY HURDLE

However, since arriving in Hong Kong I have regressed.  Even the break neck speed and reckless Arabic  driving style did not prepare me for Hong Kong roads.   My main hurdle is geography.  Even after being here a considerable amount of time, understanding the road signs seems to rely on the power of telepathy.  Although there are signs to,say,  Kwun Tong, how do you know when you've got to Kwun Tong?  There is no sign to tell you and everything looks the same and there are no spaces in-between areas.  It's all just one huge metropolis.  How can you tell if you have left Jordan and are in Prince Edward or Mong Kok?  What's the blooming difference?

Parking is prohibitively expensive and don't talk to me about tunnel fees.  Then there is the lack of understanding regarding the rules of roundabout use.

FRIENDLY WAVE IS EXPECTED

But its the complete lack of courtesy that is the most difficult to deal with.   I am programmed to queue and am hard wired to be a polite road user.  I am English after all.  So if someone in front is signalling to change lanes then it is protocol, in England anyway, to allow that person to manoeuvre in front of your car and you, as a sensible, polite and intelligent driver, to give him/her space to do that.  It is then quite normal, no expected, that a friendly wave to acknowledge this politeness is executed. 

EYES FRONT AND IGNORE

Hong Kong drivers seem blissfully unaware that other drivers need to change lanes at all and will, eyes front, continue to drive at the same speed, ignore your signal and even speed up to fill the gap so there is no chance of a safe manoeuvre causing you to drive to somewhere you don't even know and never wanted to go to in the first place.  Then they have the nerve to beep their horn!  This can also be done while queuing for tunnels.  Everyone is crawling along.  Eye contact, friendly nods or acknowledgment of the presence of other drivers can easily be made, but it never is.  No weakness must be shown.  Any attempt at lane changing at the tunnels is a serious chess move which, surprise surprise causes check mate regularly.  If no one will let anyone else in where are we all going? 

There is no courtesy on Hong Kong roads.

DOG EAT DOG

Is this dog eat dog attitude an indication of the real nature of Hong Kong people?  Perhaps their obsession with making money is the same attitude that is otherwise only exposed when they get behind the wheel of a car and their polite persona in other areas is merely a front, hiding the real cut throat 'I come first' stance?

Durham Big Meeting

Marching down Elvert, Durham

County Hotel, Durham

Big Wigs on Durham Racecourse

Durham Big Meeting  11^th July 2010

 Every second Saturday in July is Durham Miners Gala or the Big Meeting as its known.  I have been told that I’ve been before but I was little and don’t remember.  I was carried on my dad’s shoulders above the crowd, left on a wall with an ice cream for a bit, then picked up again and carried some more.  My dad’s getting on a bit now (80 in October) so not able to put me on his shoulders for as long these days, but I didn’t moan too much  and just walked.

 

COLLIERY BANNERS

There are no mines any more but the pit villages of the north east still maintain the tradition of coming together for this day.  They still have their colliery banners which are paraded through the City of Durham past the County Hotel, for the dignitaries to see, with their brass band accompanying them on the march past.

 

AN IMPORTANT DAY OUT

It’s a rousing sight and hundred of people come to Durham to watch them march.  The traffic stops and the police are in charge of guiding each colliery band and banner through the streets finishing at Durham Race Course.  Some are there for the day out with their family.  Some are there to drink beer.  Some are there to help carry the banner, an honour.  Some are there to play in the brass band.  Some are there because they are ex-miners and proud.   Some are there to support their union and some are there because they just always go. 

 

It really doesn’t matter why because it’s a grand day out.

 

POLITICAL EVENT

It’s a working mans event.  If I was going to be political about it I would have to say it’s a left wing socialist event.  The Socialist Worker and the Morning Star were on sale and the editors of those papers were on the stage.  There was also Mrs Arthur Scargill the ex-leader of the mine workers union and Ken Livingston (Red Ken to his mates) was the keynote speaker.  The words ‘brothers and sisters’, comrades and ‘suffering of the poorest in our society’ were banded around quite a lot.  It was an opportunity to criticize David Cameron’s new austerity measures and generally have a pop, unchallenged, about the new coalition government. 

 

In the meantime during these highly charged political speeches the fare ground continued to play its music, people continued to picnic on the grass and the banners and bands rested around the edges of the field.  Whatever their reason for turning up didn’t matter, they were all having a great time.

 

Here is a  poem written by my dad about the event.

 

Durham Big Meeting

By Bert Draycott  W.C.S.P.

 

Banners bands and people

Filling every street

On the second Saturday in July

When the Durham miners meet

The city traffic stops that day

Everyone goes on foot

And the pubs are open all day log

It’s true, they never shut

 

Every colliery village sends a banner and a band

To march and play in Durham streets

The sight is really grand

Just banner after banner, down

Elvet and past the jail

Banners bellowing in the breeze

Like galleons in full sail

 

When Fishburn (my banner) comes along

Your chest sticks out with pride

And you step off from the pavement

And march along beside

With the bairn sat up on your shoulders

And your work mates from the pit

While the band plays The Blaydon Races

Or one of the latest hits.

 

Hey- you’ve never seen as many shows

In all your life

No wonder every pitman goes, and takes

The bairns and wife

You can see the tattooed lady, shuggy boats

And bumper cars

Flying chairs and a boxing booth

And in there you might see stars

Then you’ll meet old friend and stand and crack

And then go on your way

And hope to see them all again

On Durham Big Meeting Day.

 

 

 

England 1 USA 1 World Cup 2010

WORLD CUP EXCITEMENT

I am being swept along with the build up to the World Cup.  Ah, memories of a faster heart beat and slight shortness of breath when I reinact previous England games I have watched during previous World Cup tournaments.  I can recreate the electric atmosphere in a bar filled with England fans, the camaraderie, the hilarious banter, the red and white George Cross prominent.  I get exciting and most of all I get patriotic.

SHORT MEMORY

You see for long periods of time I don't like football at all.  I am only and exclusively interested in England games once every four years.  I think it must be like having a baby.  Women have more than one baby because they can't remember the pain of labour, they forget how terrible it was and embark upon second, third and even fourth pregnancies because they get carried away with the falling in love with the baby part and obliterate the part when they were screaming for mercy and any form of pain killer available.

ENGLISH RESPONSIBILITY

I can only remember the thrill of the win.  I forget the disappointing empty feeling I am left with when they lose.  That memory must be shelved somewhere in my hard drive waiting to be deleted forever.  I can't help myself but will England to victory because it is my country.  I can't let them play unsupported, it is my responsibility as an English citizen.

2am WAKE UP CALL

So when I realized that their first match in the World Cup against USA was not on our telly and was at 2.30am I had no hesitation but to commit to viewing it in a bar somewhere in Hong Kong.  I just had to.  OK OK to be honest I was horrified at the kick off time and spent Saturday thinking about watching it or not, but it's so late, so early, so inconvenient... but in the end I decided I would go to bed, set the alarm for 2am, get up and go to Sai Kung.  It's only every four years  after all.

SO PATRIOTIC

And that is what we did.  The hard core, patriotic England supporters where in Sai Kung at 2.30am technically Sunday morning.  POETS was our bar of choice.  We were tucked in the corner with a great view of the screen and the pints of Guinness flowed.  To my surprise there were Americans in the bar too.  Oh well, live and let live!  The thrill of the first goal five minutes in resulted in much cheering and merriment.  It WAS worth getting up at such an unearthly hour.  But then the USA scored.  A plain stupid mistake by the England goalie with slippy gloves saw the score go to 1-1 and we all moaned in unison. 

HALF TIME ACTIVITY

The score remained like that until half time when I had a walk around a very quiet Sai Kung to find The Duke of York, Bacco and Cheers all full of dedicated England watchers.  Steamers was closed. I did spot one drunk at this point but she was causing no trouble, just meandering, staggering home.  I called in the Golden Arches eatery and joined a queue of blokes buying half-time snacks and talking about football.  Two wearing the obligatory football T-shirt and one wearing evening dress, white shirt, black bracers, silk stripe on the trouser.  Wow!  Such a high standard of attire for football viewing I thought.  We all had to wait far too long for our fast food,  McDonald's was not ready for a half time rush! 

DISAPPOINTMENT

Back to POETS for the second half which was uneventful and unconvincing.  That empty feeling was back.  There was no further goal and our boys showed little in the way of creativity or determination to take the lead.  I hope they read my blog and can fully understand the major effort it was to view their lack luster performance at 2.30am only to be let down.  The next game is Friday 18th June against Algeria.

Come on England!

Circuit Training - Sai Kung Tang Shiu Kin Sports Ground

Teacher's Race!

Sai Kung is a marvelous place to live.  I know I am in danger of become a Sai Kung bore but I believe it to be true.  Once you live in Sai Kung you'll never have to go anywhere else.  There is no need for fancy, expensive gym membership because there is - wait for it - the 'outside' for running in.  No need for running machines installed infront of televisions to slowly stagnate the brain because it is possible to step outside your door and just start your exercise.

OUTDOOR TRAINING

As well as the countryside there is also the excellent public facility right in the centre of the town, Sai Kung Tang Shiu Kin Sports Ground.  The track has people running all the time.  Some are potential Olympians and some are grannies flip flopping their way around, beware of them - they may overtake you. 

ninab@netvigator.com  Nina Blacklock

As an added extra bonus there is the lovely Nina Blacklock who offers outdoor circuit training sessions at the ground, Monday to Thursday every week and I strongly recommend them.

DO YOU WANT  CHALLENGE?

There are beginners and general sessions in the evenings which involve getting your heart thumping out of your chest and a copious amounts of sweat gushing from your skin.  There is a mixture of women and men and ability.  Be warned, Nina will challenge you! 

A typical class will start off with a run around the track.  Yes you heard me, all the way round one time.  I have to admit to being stunned at being asked to do such a thing the first time and really thought I would never make it. But, at my own pace I did it.

WHAT TO EXPECT

She will follow this by stretching and balance warm ups and then the fun starts.  Making good use of the sports ground we will be given exercises to do which target various parts of the body.  There will be lunges and squats, press ups, triceps dips, sprints, planks - pant pant pant - may be a rest if you're good, but no slacking at this point because you'll probably have to do it all again, then core then may be another run around the track and of course the stretch and cool down to finish.

By that time an hour will have disappeared and we'll all be begging for mercy...not really (well a bit) But it is worth it for the fantastic buzz of endorphins and with any luck those stubborn fat stores will be left at the track instead of hanging around my middle.

CONTACT NINA

If you are interested you can contact Nina Blacklock on her email for more details of times. ninab@netvigator.com

The photo is me running at my school's sports day in the dreaded teachers race - something I never would have attempted before Nina's Outdoor Sessions.   Whether this is a good or a bad thing?  The jury is still out on that one.
 

 

 

Steamers Sai Kung

NEW IMPROVED MENU

Steamers is a Sai Kung institution.  I highly recommend it.  The staff are friendly and helpful and the food is delicious.  They do a great curry as well as other gems from their, mostly, western menu.  On Sundays it is an excellent choice of venue for a roast dinner which includes Yorkshire pudding.  You get a huge pile of meat (beef, chicken or lamb) lashing of gravy and lots of veggies for under $100.  Then there is their Full English Breakfast which is everything you'd expect and includes tea and toast.  There is really more than you can eat (personal opinion obviously). 

ALFRESCO DINING

The atmosphere changes depending on the time of day.  It can be a quiet and peaceful place for breakfast or it can be full of sports fans enjoying the game and getting very vocal.  The best thing about Steamers is the private court yard outside where you can sit and enjoy that fresh Sai Kung air (everything is just peachy in Sai Kung, don't listen to the API index!) and do a spot of people watching to your hearts content.

Steamers,66 Yi Chun St, Sai Kung, tel 2792 6991.