I am not in with the in crowd.
I am not an American Express credit card holder.
I really thought that if the tickets to see Lady Gaga went on sale today then that is what it would mean.
I was SO wrong.
All sold out.
I really do think that if you camped out on the street to buy the tickets then you deserve one, but pre sales to American Express card holders....STINKS
I saw this and thought "It must mean me?"
Hooked by this title I read on... to a point it is very true and full of witertaining observations from a white, western point of view although it is based on the assumption that all white people live in America and have an affinity to Canada so that part fell on stony ground for me, and to some extent also assumes a maleness and even possibly an under 40sness. I'm just saying!
He has a website also full of wise words about 'stuff' Stuff White People Like and if you like that you might also like a quick surf at White Whine.com A Collection of First-World Problems which puts 'stuff' into perspective for those rich spoilt brats out there.
Here is a snippet from SWPL
Outdoor Performance Clothes
As white people get older, they like to have clear boundaries between their professional and personal lives. They don't mind talking about their personal life at work, but they hate talking about their work life when they are enjoying a weekend or vacation. But with BlackBerry's and laptops, white people could be working anywhere, at any time. So how do you know when they are off the clock? It's easy; just check their clothes.
When white people aren't working, they generally like to wear outdoor performance clothes. The top suppliers of these garments and accessories include North Face, REI, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Columbia Sportswear and Patagonia. When you see white people wearing these brands, it is important that you do not discuss business matters. Instead you should say things like 'Where did you get that fleece?" and "What's that thing holding your keys to your shorts?" White people will be more than happy to talk to you about their sustainably produced possessions.
The main reason white people like these clothes is that they allow them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park. It could be 4:00pm on a Saturday when they might get the call. "Hey, man, you know what we need to do? Kayak then camping, right now. I'm on my way to get you. There is no time to change clothes."
Though this is unlikely that they will ever receive this call, white people hate the idea of missing an opportunity to enjoy outdoor activities just because they weren't wearing the right clothes.
If you plan on spending part of your weekend with a white person, it is strongly recommended that you purchase a jacket or some sort of 'high-performance' T-shirt, which is like a regular shirt, just a lot more expensive.
This production is currently on in London DV8 Physical Theatre National Theatre, South Bank
"It is very, very easy not to be offended by a book.
You just have to shut it."
Salman Rushdie
I watched in awe as DV8, the physical theatre company from England, delivered a very powerful message about free speech, Islam and multiculturalism in the west. Whilst contorting themselves around doorways, upside down - in fact many different positions and speeds, I felt totally refreshed after listening to their message which was utterly correct. I almost I forgot I was in conservative Hong Kong. The performance was 1hr 20m with no intermission and I had no concept of the time, it held my attention throughout.
I am now contemplating changing my teaching technique to incorporate physical movements such as drinking tea while sat on the back of a large male colleague who manipulates me around his body or standing on my head to put on a pair of trousers - all movements and positions will be designed to keep my audience enthralled and I will not miss a queue or even trip slightly as my lesson is delivered and, essentially, my students will remember it once they leave the room.
My only criticism is that it is so rare to have the opportunity to see such a high standard of contemporary physical theatre in Hong Kong and I want more. (stamping of foot)
I am horrified at the story in the scmp yesterday about the Food Expo organised by the Trade and Development Council. Japanese based Yashima Shoji Company handed out bite-sized pieces of this endangered fish as a delicacy, a treat, for visitors to their stand.
(I would provide a helpful link to the story but for some unexplained reason the South China Morning Post require a subscription to read their paper which is strange compared to other broadsheet international papers such as The Times, The Guardian, The Independent, New York Times which are all free)
The Worldwide Fund for Nature in Hong Kong have been promoting the fact that blue fin tuna is an endangered species for years but it appears to have fallen on deaf ears in Hong Kong. Does no one care? I really don't think that Hong Kong people are solely money driven, there has to be residents out there who are aware of the delicate environmental issues happening now, globally. Or is it that in this tiny little dot on the map people are blinkered and if its the news isn't about GDP or the impending $6000 handout no one gives a toss!
Hong Kong is not a third world country, we are supposed to be an international city but when an endangered species is being eaten as an image of power and wealth it shows Hong Kong as ignorant.
On the bright side there is some progress, the following is a list of restaurants in Hong Kong who have pledged not to serve blue fin tuna but given the thousands of places this is a drop in the ocean (pardon the pun)
This information comes from the WWF website.
Threats to Blue Fin Tuna from WWF Hong Kong
Enter a vanished world: Jackson, Mississippi, 1962. Where black maids raise children but aren't trusted not to steal the silver...
That is the tag line for The Help by Katheryn Stockett
A story about coloured maids who are brave enough to trust one white women who wants them to tell her what its really like to work for a white family and look after their children while living in a racially discriminated society. The stories are collated into a book that the authors cannot openly put their name to because they fear for their security and their lives.
The backdrop is the civil rights movement where radical new ideas of integration and equality were being forced into the consciousness of the USA by Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and President Kennedy.
That was in 1962.
Meanwhile here in 2011 in Hong Kong philipina maids are essential to the economy of the country but they experience discrimination. They cannot drive, they cannot do any other type of job, they can ONLY be domestic helpers. Other nationalities can apply for permanent residency after being in Hong Kong for seven years, but not if you are a philipina maid.
The following is from a website called Legal News, Hong Kong Lawyer
Filipino maid challenges HK legal system over residency laws
January 2011
'A Filipino maid is challenging Hong Kong’s immigration laws in a bid to gain Hong Kong citizenship. Evangeline Banao Vallejos has filed a writ in the Court of First Instance seeking a review of the decision by authorities not to grant her permanent residency status. Vallejos has lived and worked in Hong Kong as a domestic helper for
24 years. Under Hong Kong law, non-Chinese people are entitled to permanent residency if they have ‘ordinarily resided’ in Hong Kong for a continuous period of seven years. However, the Immigration Ordinance (Cap 115) specifically excludes foreign domestic helpers from being treated as being ‘ordinarily’ resident. A human rights law firm, which is acting for Vallejos, argued that this section of the law is discriminatory and contrary to Art 24 of the Basic Law. If the challenge – on the grounds that the policy is unconstitutional under the Basic Law – is successful, 250,000 domestic helpers could apply for permanent residency once they have been in the city for seven years continuously'
Philippines Hails Landmark Maids Treaty
UPDATE 2nd October, 2011
Hong Kong Maid wins right to apply for permanent resident status.
There has been a flurry of activity in the local Hong Kong press recently on the topic of so called 'illegal structures' and the blind eye that is metaphorically turned when residents of 700 square foot apartments get ideas of making their life better and giving themselves a little more space. The press have conjured up headlines such as:-
Government Faces Pressure over Illegal Structures
Rural Roofs spur double-standard rap
Limited Agreement offered on Illegal Structures
But the fact remains that way back in 1972 the 'Small House Policy' came into force allowing indigenous males the right to build a 'small house' in the New Territories. Under this policy, a person over 18 years old who is descended through the male line from a resident in 1898 of a recognized village in the New Territories in Hong Kong may apply to the authority for building a small house on a suitable lot once in their lifetime.
Not surprisingly, for Hong Kong, the rules that came with this policy are typically baffling and obstructive to anyone with an ounce of creativity or common sense. What has been constructed as a result of this policy are masses of identical, ugly, houses in a mock 'Spanish' style. All are three stories and all are 700 square feet per floor because... these are the rules.
We are now into 2011 but anyone who wants to build a new house or renovate an existing badly designed village house is restricted by the rules that exist because they exist.
There are many examples globally of good design and sustainable living where materials and specifications blend in with the traditional style and scenery of the area. Houses where the design takes into account growing families and the need for storage, efficient heating or cooling systems as well as appreciation of the way a typical family operates with need for privacy as well as spaces to interact.
Bad Design
What we have here in the New Territories are ugly, badly designed living spaces that are freezing cold in the winter with no appliances supplied to heat or cool the space. Air conditioners knocked into walls as an after thought causing noise and drips. More often than not the kitchens are simply a bench and any appliance such as a fridge or, wait for it, an oven, may not even fit into the designated area. There is no whisper of storage space for kitchenware or clothing in any room. If a family has an idea of washing their clothes at home then fitting a machine into the house will be looked upon as some alien weird idea so the only place to have one is OUTSIDE. Yes its true. You have to put your ELECTRIC washing machine on the balcony or on the roof and hope that it doesn't short circuit during rain storms. I know you can buy washing machine covers from Japan Home Stores but come on, when did that start to become acceptable?
There is a lot of hot air and fuss being created about so called illegal structures in the New Territories when all residents want to do is improve their living space which was badly designed in the first place and too small. Instead of fixating on old and outdated rules about the small house policy we should be accepting of the fact that it is possible to be flexible and allow differently designed houses that have humans who occupt them and the way we live in the 21st century in mind.
The very idea of restricting people to a smaller space when they have a rooftop available to them is draconian.
Instead of harking back to a time when there were no illegal structures on rooftops the government should be employing creative architects who can move with the times, build sustainable housing for the population and start approving building plans that show initiative with appreciation for resources and human beings.
Fish Maw Wikipedia say (swim bladder, gas bladder, air bladder of a fish)
The Menu Madam
I love reading menus. Its all part of a good night out. It is a most satisfactory experience and I have a great sense of satisfaction when the decision has been made and the order is in. It means that I have carefully considered every dish on offer and chosen the best one, the one I am in the mood for.
Be Adventurous why don't you?
It was put to me recently that I should put myself in a situation of trying food that I would not normally try. 'What on earth for?' was my reply. I know I have lived in Hong Kong for ten years and I also know that in my heart I am a roast beef and Yorkshire pudding kind of girl.
I know what I like.
Ordering Skills
But I was cajoled and coerced into trying something a little bit different this evening. It was actually built up over a week when the words fish maw and (It is not a vegetable, more like a slug) sea cucumber, fungus and pork intestines were banded around willy nilly. This was all a sneaky underhand plan to make me feel boring, unadventurous and inadequate in my menu browsing and ordering skills. Quite offensive really but the tactic worked.
Bush Tucker Challenge
By the time I sat down in the Chinese Restaurant at the HKUST I was bigged up to order the weirdest stuff on the menu, in fact I was looking forward to the challenge. I thought it of it like Fear Factor or a Bush Tucker Challenge (see I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here) and so after some banter and a sharing of reading glasses Failing eyesight blog (I always have at least one pair on the table these days) the order was placed:-
fillet of groupa in an orange dressing
scallops with lily bulbs
fish maw with sea cucumber
lotus, black fungus with honey beans
and then just in case we really couldn't put any of that to our lips we also had:-
sweet & sour pork
fried rice with chicken and ginger
You want WHAT?
I was watching the waiter's face for signs of surprise, perhaps he would challenge us politely, carefully suggesting that we had made some culinary mistake because it's not what us folk usually order. It wasn't to be, and why should he be in any way doubtful that we wouldn't like it. Hundreds of other people order this stuff every Friday night.
It all arrived and was placed in the middle of the table for a shared experience, as all Chinese food is. No one gets a whole dish to themselves that is just not cricket. Everyone gets a taste of everything. It the way things are done.
Where is your napkin!
I saw the sea cucumber lurking among the fish maw and went for it. Stabbing a piece with my chopsticks and carefully transporting the slippery little sucker to my plate. But it jumped! It left my chop stick grasp and landed in my lap covering my beige trousers in soy sauce and a greasy mark over both legs and on the crutch area. Damn!
Offensive or not?
Eventually it made it to my mouth and so did the fish maw. To be frank, sea cucumber is just weird. This is a technical term in the foodie world. I detected no flavour apart from the oil and soy sauce it had been cooked in so it was not offensive but I hated the jelly-like texture. As I chewed it just broke up into smaller jelly-like lumps in my mouth but never melted away like say a raspberry jelly does. The fish maw, see picture above, on the other hand was ok, not fishy. I had quite a few bits of it and now I have identified it I could now spot it at the local supermarket and purchase it for my own cooking (but I won't!).
The groupa was great and the orange dressing a delight.
lotus root
Lotus with black fungus and honey bean - quite nice although no distinguishable taste, it is the a textural difference between the ingredients which is to be appreciated.
cooked black fungus
Lost in Translation
Now don't be put off by the name. Fungus is merely a name for mushrooms and I guess that in translation this type of mushroom becomes fungus, after all that is what mushrooms are. This translation just doesn't sound too appetizing does it? Don't be frightened, try it!
Once the plates were cleared away (there was plenty of sea cucumber left for a doggy bag although I declined the offer - funny that?)
The obvious sequence of events leads us to dessert and the more weird stuff on the menu was just crying out to be tasted:-
Wolf berry and osmanthus jelly and
glutinous dark pudding with coconut
wolf or goji berry
Osmanthus dried flower
Have you got jam rolly polly and custard?
This turned out to be lumps of plain gelatin with a few bits of dried flower (can be used as tea) and chopped up wolf berry and sugar. Nothing of any significance. Is it that the Chinese just don't do puddings? For sure the cake in these parts is totally tasteless unless you happened to like synthetic cream and sponge. The glutinous dark pudding with coconut had a nice light flavour and was the texture of a mouse although brought back vivid memories of Angel Delight.
Not much gagging
So to sum up the array of flavours, textures and tastes delivered to our table during the evening were stimulating, interesting and - well to be honest - Chinese food flavour. It is all much of a muchness whatever the main ingredients are the cooking process (wok with soy sauce) is much the same for nearly every dish. On a more positive note there were no real retching or gag moments as I had imagined may happen. That would have been the worst case scenario and apart from the sea cucumber on the trousers it was actually rather pleasant and has opened my mind to, perhaps one day may be soon, ordering at least one dish I haven't tried before next time I find myself in a Chinese restaurant.
FAMOUS TOURIST DESTINATIONS
Strategic tourist destinations across the world have had the sense to restrict the building style and advertising to preserve the natural beauty, charm, tranquility and originality of the area. McDonald’s are only allowed to sell their tasty burgers on the Champs Elysees on condition they tone down their garish golden arches and red logo. They conformed so on that avenue the M is white. Sainsbury’s on Mayfair is situated in a stone built Victorian building and is restricted to keeping the original stone façade and window size to blend in with the elegant style of the area. On the island of Lanzarote the building of high rises and billboards competing for the attention of tourists was outlawed in the 1970s. Local artist, Cesar Manrique, saw the way other Spanish holiday resorts had been encased in a ‘concrete coffin’ and his influence means that today the island remains tranquil which is the reason tourists want to go there.
Unspoilt Lanzarote
SHOPS FOR DOGS AND ESTATE AGENTS
Some might say that Sai Kung, the back garden of Hong Kong is also a strategic tourist destination. So far no one has come up with the amazing new and revolutionary concept of opening a place that has rooms with beds in. People who don’t live in Sai Kung i.e. tourists, could, wait for it, sleep in the rooms overnight and then in the morning they could be given a breakfast. There is a charge for this service. Yes, that’s right it’s called - Bed and Breakfast – but it seems so far removed from the consciousness of any business person in Sai Kung who instead are stuck in the rut of opening up shops exclusively for dogs or the buying and selling of property. We do have to thank our lucky stars that the District Council allows alfresco dining these days although that seems to depend on the mood of the Fun Police who are in the habit of restricting the outside tables outside certain restaurants because…(answers on a postcard please). I cannot imagine that when tourists have a meal in the Piazza del Signoria in Florence the establishments are at risk of being asked to remove the outside tables. Of course not, they realize that is what people want the experience.
GARISH ADVERTISING - FLOWER PAINT FACTORY
If we are all in agreement that Sai Kung is a strategic tourist destination then why oh, why oh (there it goes again) is the Flower Paint Factory on the approach to Sai Kung, the back garden of Hong Kong, allowed to have the most gigantic garish sign of all time placed on their hideous concrete building showing a complete lack of appreciation and concern for local residents with blatant disregard for the aesthetic of the town. Why does it feel the need to advertise anyway? It’s not like the general public can even go in there to buy paint so who exactly is the advert aimed at?
Don’t get me started on Star Plaza!
It's just a little kiss
Watching the Wedding Yesterday
Patriotism means, by definition, a devotion to ones country. In accordance with said definition I am, therefore, not patriotic because I cannot say wholeheartedly that I am devoted to my country. Being an expat in Hong Kong for 'n' amount of years could make others think I didn't care about England. But they'd be wrong. I am devoted and I am proud to be English. Yesterday I was glued to Theresa's telly all afternoon until the big moment of that kiss on that balcony and I truly truly enjoyed every minute of it.
The Royal Family
As the members of the British Royal Family made their way to Westminster Abbey and took their places, all behaving impeccably, it was obvious that they know how to put on a jolly good 'do'. They have their pick of the best church, the best flowers, the best carriages and of course the world class top number one best route to the venue and then on to the reception.
Queen Elizabeth I
But it's not just because they have one of the best driveways in the world to parade up and down (The Mall) its because of the crowds. The public, who turned out to wave at them in the hope of getting a quick glimpse of the Royals really made that wedding day into an atmospheric event and made it historically important.
Emotional Day
It is very emotional to watch any wedding. The open exchange of vows and the support of both families is a marvelous and memorable event for any couple. Its guaranteed to form a lump in ones throat. Having the whole thing televised and broadcast around the world to over two billion people and having the route lined with thousands of enthusiastically waving people is mind blowing. And it's that atmosphere of the gathering of a large crowd in celebration that gets my bottom lip quivering. The emotion and overwhelming friendliness renews my patriotism and fuels my devotion to England. All of those people, some had camped out for days, sitting and standing in the open and feeling secure establishes a trust in mankind. People of all ages gathered together for the same purpose without fear.
Crowds on The Mall
There goes my bottom lip goes again!
Long may they reign over us
I have heard the press say that the moment the couple kissed on the balcony was the moment the British Royal Family re established themselves. I think they are wrong. The billions around the world who watched on screen and the thousands who made the journey to The Mall, Hyde Park and the streets lining the route from The Goring Hotel to Westminster Abbey and then on to Buckingham Palace didn't need that kiss. Be sure they wanted to see it. But the planning and excitement that was generated prior to the big day surely proves that Britain loves their Queen and that one day we will see King William and Princess Catherine.
Excellent idea!
Its a tradition that will continue as it has for centuries and I for one am proud of it and I am patriotic. The less said about the Princesses stupid hats the better...
Oh dear!
Exhibition - 20th April - 31st May 2011 10am - 8pm
Venue - ArtisTree 1/F Cornwall House, TaiKoo Place FREE ADMISSION
Nearest MTR Quarry Bay
This History behind the man
This exhibition is a well thought out informative history of one of Hong Kong's most loved graffiti artists. Long before Banksy had even cut his first stencil Tsang Tsou-choi was using traditional Chinese calligraphy, with ink and a paint brush, to write his message on public spaces for the world to read. Of course being unable to read Chinese the message, up until now, has been lost on me.
Royal Blood
Now that the exhibition has enlightened me I know that he thought himself the rightful royal ruler of the Kowloon peninsula and his messages demanded he should be given total rule of all of Kowloon. He objected to Elizabeth 1 being the colonial ruler so his first messages were addressed to her. After the handover things didn't go quite as he expected and so he had to continue painting his messages for all to see. After 1997 they were aimed at the Chinese government and he continued to claim that he was in fact the King of Kowloon. He was still waiting for tax to be paid to him from Donald Tsang upon his death. Tsang never replied to his tax demand which was painted on a wall in Kowloon!
It is estimated that over 51 years of scribbling in 80 locations over Hong Kong he generated 55,845 pieces of work and used 1,170 litres of ink.
The Exhibition
The rooms are darkened with well lit exhibits not only of his work, of which there is miles, but of various artifacts from his life that have been preserved for posterity. Some quite mundane memorabilia such as old felt tip pens and empty ink bottles claimed to belong to the King. G.O.D. now uses some of his ideas and sells them as trendy items in their shops. They have an alarm clock and a t-shirt adorned with the Kings calligraphy, now hot fashion items. Buy now while stocks last!
Space Invader
During his lifetime his fame spread around the world and he was visited by Space Invader - graffiti artist , a famous American graffiti artist who placed one of his tile designs on the wall of the old folks home where he lived. This has now been removed and is carefully displayed. I am reliably informed this is worth thousands these days.
Local Talent
Students from local schools have used King Kowloon as inspiration for their own work and this is also on display and well worth a look. Who says Hong Kong students cannot be creative?
God Save the Queen.
The Official Site of The Royal Wedding
The wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton is on Friday. Did you know?
It's at 11am british time so that makes it 6pm Hong Kong time. How civilized.
I feel I am missing out on the celebrations and street parties because I am not in jolly old blighty. I know I can watch wall to wall telly about 'how they met' 'who designed the dress' 'who is on the invitation list' 'how his parents met' (who were they?) etc etc but what I am missing out on is the cheap tat that will be inevitably be on sale in...I was going to say Woolworths, but that's long gone, so whatever the equivalent to Woolies is these days? Probably ASDA or TESCO.
I am still mourning the breakage of the Charles and Diana mug that I bought 31 years ago although that drop may have been a freaky premonition. Or just a smashed mug?
Here are some excellent examples of the William & Kate memoribilia - my personal favourite is the the William and Kate Fridge!
Is this the price of a stamp these days?
This beer has been created to celebrate the day.
Kiss me Kate
Weird masks, balloons and plastic cups - everything you'll need for your street party
I am surprised I haven't seen for sale in Sai Kung.
bunting and flags
Condoms by appointment.
Well, if it was Prince Andrew it would be different.
Kate Middleton doll (could be full size with open mouth, not too sure)
My favourite - the fridge - a splendid addition to any modern kitchen
Knit your own Royal Wedding kit, corgis included - start now to be ready for the 29th!
Is she really the girl next door?
Love Hearts for those with a sweet tooth.
Totally chavvy nails. A must for all slappers!
Royal tea bags Royal jigsaw puzzle
Top Shop Bunting Socks - a must for your big day William...
Isn't it K for Katherine?
This is just to remind me of the mug I smashed.
The Ritz Carlton Hotel is situated on 1 Austin Road, Kowloon. It is the highest hotel in the world.
More tea?
It is 1,600 ft high although I have a strong suspicion that it won't hold the record for long because someone somewhere will get all competitive and want to go to even giddier heights. The second, third and fourth highest hotels are in, surprise surprise, Dubai.
Flower arrangement Ritz Carlton The Lounge
Even though this building is even higher than the famous IFC (1364ft) I hadn't even noticed it! I put this down to being busy and having to go to work. I thought it was just me who didn't know about its opening at the end of March but no, I got in a taxi in Jordon and asked for "Ritz Carlton, 1 Austin Road m goi" I got the standard response 'Ha!' At first he attempted to drop me off at BP International House also on Austin Road but come on, it didn't even sound a bit like Ritz Carlton and is not very high at all! After one of those fraught journeys where the taxi driver talks on the phone in a confused way and gives you no confidence in actually getting to your destination he eventually made it and we ended as friends.
Before
After ...
HOW TO GET THERE
For future reference ask for Elements Shopping Mall and the Ritz Carlton is actually situated at the top of a building called International Commerce Centre ICC which is the last building on the road - THE TALLEST ONE! The hotel is actually perched on the top of the ICC on floors 102 to 118 and afternoon tea involves a lift ride with only stop from zero to floor 103 (it took ages and my ears popped) then a short escalator down one floor to The Lounge.
It is beautifully decorated with amazing views - obviously. The tea involves everything you'd expect - three tiered plate full of goodies and copious amounts of tea from a wide choice.
For an extra thrill you can go even higher to the bar on floor 118 Ozone which even has a partly open area and yesterday there was quite a chilly breeze blowing around there. I thought I was being quite brave getting close to the edge and looking down. Gulp!
Afternoon Tea at the Ritz Carlton, Hong Kong
The closest building on the right is the IFC, Hong Kong Side, across the harbour is the ICC - can you see me waving?
Chen Yi, the first communist mayor of Shanghai
I have to admit to being not very well travelled when it comes to China. I have lived in SAR for nearly ten years now but have been some how magnetically repelled from the mainland because of the horror stories I hear on a daily basis about:-
Then there is the danger angle people like to thrap on about:-
Not to mention the general physical risks of:-
Taking my life in my hands I visited Shanghai, China's most populous city to find it was none of those things and whats more I had a great time and came back all in one piece. I enjoyed it, I felt safe and I would go back.
ART
There is lots of art to see and the first stop was Shanghai Museum of Art situated next to the People's Park. At the moment there is an exhibition of American Print Makers and we saw famous pieces by Jasper John's and Jim Dine. After that we headed for 50 Moganshan Road which is a higgledy piggledy complex of converted warehouses filled with a vast variety of contemporary art. Hundreds of visitors are attracted to this area every day and as well as the art there are trendy cafes and coffee to be had. There is also the Museum of Modern Art, a state of the art glass building inside the People's Park but at the moment it just has a cafe inside - no art.
Pervert taking photograph of young girl's legs
THE PEOPLE'S PARK
The People's Park itself is a myriad of life. A well looked after garden plus a few small theme park rides, it attracts a variety of people. Sit on the grass and enjoy your picnic. Practise tai chi to your hearts content. Dress up in a panda outfit and thrill the children. Advertise your unmarried grown up children being available for marriage (there was loads of that). Play chess. Beg. Stop bewildered tourists and ask them questions to practise your English then offer to take them to a tea ceremony (we had that lots of times). All very friendly and non threatening. I was even protected from a particularly annoying beggar in the park by some Shanghai people who felt the need to keep me safe and send her on her way. They then translated what they had said for me which was basically 'get a job and stop bothering the tourist's!
Weeeee!
WANTED - GROOM FOR MY DAUGHTER
NANJING ROAD
Upon arrival on Nanjing Road pedestrian street the hawkers selling copy everythingyoucanthinkof pounced but being used to it on Nathan Road the usual technique of eyes front and ignore was implemented. Although I wasn't quite ready for the wheelie shoe sellers who zipped about on a type of roller skate wheel that can be attached to any shoe. They obviously felt that I was in the market for wheelie shoes but I politely declined, at first, after the 8th person zipping up to me on their trendy wheels I had had enough. That's when Fairy Land Foot Massage lit its beacon and led me up their wonderful staircase to wonderfulness. See previous blog.
Fairyland Foot Massage, Shanghai
THE BUND
In the evening, after one of the most delicious and interesting meals of my life at Lost Heaven. See previous blog.
We did The Bund. The most famous area by the river lined with magnificent historic stone built structures dating back to a time when the west had a strong influence on the city. On The Bund side of the river are the neo classical and art deco style buildings while across the river are the futuristic modern buildings all lit up and pretty. Having said that it was Earth Hour when we arrived which meant that most of the lights had been switched off for an hour so the impact of them all coming on again at 9.30pm was thrilling, albeit not environmentally that friendly!
JAZZ IN SHANGHAI
On The Bund is the Peace Hotel which contains a very cool jazz club. We look our positions on high stools at the bar and enjoyed the band. Wow! Excellent live music. I didn't enjoy the cigarette smoke quite so much and it was a surprise to be in a bar full of smoke these days. There is talk that China will ban smoking in public places very soon. Let's wait to see how it goes? A bit more jazz after the Peace Hotel involved a taxi ride to JZ Jazz Bar, 46 Fuxing Road, near Yongfu Road which was, again filled with smoke, and a zillion more people. It is Shanghai's hippest jazz club. After a difficult attempt at trying to get close to the stage and being told we had to pay 500 RMB for the privilege, we moved back to the free seating and let the jazz wash over us. Yeh daddio!
OLD SHANGHAI AND YU GARDENS
Next morning more exploring was on the itineray and a visit to Yu Gardens and Old Shanghai. It was crowed. Very crowded. But very exciting and filled with atmosphere and tourists being lead around by ladies in red caps and the dreaded electric megaphone. Oh dear! The buildings and temples were stunning and food stalls overwhelming. We made our way out of the more crowded tourist shuffle area down some back streets where the real people lived and enjoyed a lunch which was cooked for us as we watched. There were ceramic dishes already prepared with the ingredients, vegetables, fish or meat or just a veggie options with noodles or rice. Once you choose your dish it was placed over a gas flame until it bubbled and cooked everything. I think it was the original Pot Noodle.
So I wasn't in any danger as far as I know and I now know the horror stories are just that - stories. There was even a Marks & Spencers with a sale on with a great coat just wating for me!
MORE PHOTOS WILL BE POSTED SHORTLY
Here I am snipping the strawberries
http://yl.com.hk/sbg/index.html
STRAWBERRY PICKING - SHA TAU KOK ROAD
Today I picked about 5lbs of strawberries on a pick-your-own-farm up towards Fanling in the New Territories. In fact it's almost in China and there is the border with a policeman and a big sign saying Permit Holders Only'. There is a big Buddhist temple on the right of Sha Tau Kok Road with many people burning paper offerings to their ancestors, some quite nice gardens with some carp swimming about although it could do with a clean and general prune. One Buddhist temple is much like any other round these parts but this one has stalls with dried and fresh produce for sale. The added bonus is the strawberry picking field.
My punnet (see below) cost $140 and right now I am making jam!
I would never have believed it possible but its really true. It is strawberry picking for softies in that the plants are grown on plastic sheeting so no need to get any dirty soil on your Guccis plus they provide a handy pair of kiddie scissors for snipping the stalks.
A basket full of strawberries $140 please
As well as that I have now made organic carrot and corriander soup. It's all good.
BREAKING NEWS - JAM IN JARS
Extra bonus addition to this blog - it is now Tuesday 5th April and the jam is now in jars.
The first attempt resulted in 4 jars of jam but it didn't set. So I put two jars back in the pan, added apple skin and boiled for longer. This resulted in set jam but it reduced down to only one jar. It is yummy but in no way economical.
Feet
SOOTHING MASSAGE
After a tremendous amount of walking around Shanghai one Saturday on a weekend mini break our feet were throbbing and in need of some attention. We didn't plan to visit Fairyland Health and Beauty on Nanjing Pedestrian Street, it seemed to find us. I think it had a magnetic charm that lulled us up the stairs into completely unknown territory. There was a short period of uncertainty until I was sure it was a respectable establishment because its just awful when it's not, don't you just hate it when that happens?
RELAXING MUSIC
In the blink of an eye we were made comfortable in a darkened room with relaxing music and our feet were soaked in fragrant water while the masseurs paid our shoulders much need attention. A special bonus of a shoulder rub just to make up the time while the feet are cleansed and softened up ready for the foot massage.
HARD SKIN REMOVAL
The massage was excellent and I would have no reservations in recommending Fairyland if you are ever in need of stress relief and are in Shanghai at the same time. But actually the best bit was the hard skin removal service. For an extra 48 RMB a specially skilled man was summoned into the room yielding a blade. Or was it a scalpel or was it an incredibly sharp chisel? As I say it was a darkened room so it was hard to tell. But the hard skin removal master was well equipped to work on feet in a darkened room. He was wearing a head torch. I guess he had a been boy scout when he was younger so was always prepared. He set to work with the chisel and with the lightest touch he managed to shave off what looked like snow flakes from my feet. The towel was soon covered and I caught the masseurs looking sideways at each other at the surprising amount of dead skin building up as he dutifully shaved my feet.
The service was excellent, shoulder, feet and shaving of said feet. We floated out. Wow!
Hard skin removal man wearing head torch
The man in the head torch made Fairyland an extra special experience and I want him to come and live in our house.
Yunnan Folk Cuisine Restaurant
http://www.lostheaven.com.cn/
Situated on Ya'an Dong Road, Shanghai this truly wonderful restaurant uses the flavours and ingredients of the Mountain Mekong Region to produce a spectacular menu. The dishes are influenced by flavours from Tibet, Burma, Thailand and the Yunnan Province of China. The layout and decor is visually stunning and so is the menu and so are the chairs and so are the photographs displayed around the walls showing breathtaking images of the Yunnan area taken by David Hartung. His photographs are also featured on the website if you care to check it out (Gallery). But the nitty gritty of any restaurant, regardless of its lovely chairs and interesting toilets, is the food. What does it taste like?
I'll tell you.
BEST FOOD EVER
At Lost Heaven I ate some of the best food I have ever had in my life. It sounds like hyperbole and exaggeration doesn't it? I really mean it. I am being honest about the flavours. So different, so refreshing and so scrumptious.
The Yunnan Wild Vegetable Cakes (SEE PICTURE) served with a tomato relish were simple, beautiful. I enjoyed the chicken with seven spices as well as the mixed vegetables in a tamarind sauce. The Crispy Pork was crispy, it was crackingly delicious. The Tea Leaf Salad, a speciality dish from Burma, was the best dish which consisted of finely chopped, freshly picked tea leaf tips with a mixture of dried broad beans, peanuts and other yummy stuff. I really don't know exactly what was in it I just know I needed to eat more of it.
Lost Heaven gets a huge thumbs up from me. When in Shanghai - go there.
Beautiful decor
Benjamin Zephaniah
AN AUDIENCE WITH BEN PLUS HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN
In previous years I have seen authors talk about how they write and what they do to produce a book worthy of publication. I am always interested in such a process having got to chapter seven of my own masterpiece but, so far, cannot find the wherewithal to continue to the end. Authors sit in rooms with computers and write. They usually work alone and so for the majority being in front of a large audience is not a natural environment. Some can talk and be interesting, some can tell a story as well as write it, the opposite is sometimes, unfortunately true. Some are not interesting and can't tell a story apart from when they are in their own room silently producing the written word.
A MAN OF MANY TALENTS
Benjamin Zephaniah is not soley a writer. He is a performer. Having an audience with him (and a few hundred school children) at this years literary festival was a wonderful experience. His poetry is funny and accessable with a serious message.
I used to think nurses were women
I used to think police were all men
I used to think poets were boring
until I became one of them
You see what I mean? Four lines, quite simple and straight forward but worthy of an analytical essay about the deeper meaning relating to feminism, class and stereotypical judgements in a post colonial voice.
A FUNNY MAN WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE
Zephaniah is funny. He doesn't take himself seriously but he does take the world seriously. His work carries a message about equality and justice for all, including turkeys. He talks of racism and sexism and even vegatarinism. The children were more than satisfied by his answers to their questions about what kind of car he drives to his twin sister's name and he deflected any questions about his dreadlocks, obviously he gets that a lot!
At 53 he is looking good. I wonder if its being a rasta, being a vegan or being a kung fu expert?
BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH OBE?
He was awarded an OBE but declined to accept it. Here is the poem about that time.
Smart big awards and prize money
Is killing off black poetry
It's not censors or dictators that are cutting up our art.
The lure of meeting royalty
And touching high society
Is damping creativity and eating at our heart.
The ancestors would turn in graves
Those poor black folk that once were slaves would wonder
How our souls were sold
And check our strategies,
The empire strikes back and waves
Tamed warriors bow on parades
When they have done what they've been told
They get their OBE's.
Don't take my word, go check the verse
Cause every laureate gets worse
A family that you cannot fault as muse will mess your mind,
And yeah, you may fatten your purse
And surely they will check you first when subjects need to be amused
With paid for prose and rhymes.
Take your prize, now write more,
Faster,
Fuck the truth
Now you're an actor do not fault your benefactor
Write, publish and review,
You look like a dreadlocks Rasta,
You look like a ghetto blaster,
But you can't diss your paymaster
And bite the hand that feeds you.
What happened to the verse of fire
Cursing cool the empire
What happened to the soul rebel that Marley had in mind,
This bloodstained, stolen empire rewards you and you conspire,
(Yes Marley said that time will tell)
Now look they've gone and joined.
We keep getting this beating
It's bad history repeating
It reminds me of those capitalists that say
'Look you have a choice,'
It's sick and self-defeating if our dispossessed keep weeping
And we give these awards meaning
But we end up with no voice.
TASTLESS TROUSERS
The Talk of the Town is on the top floor of The Excelsior Hotel, Causeway Bay. There are many, many good reasons for a night out there.
WHO GOES THERE?
The clientele can be a mixture of hotel guests, business men and tourists as well as a few couples having a romantic night out. Then there are the regulars who know the set list, the dance moves and the band. There is also a subtle presence of older singles on the look out for other older singles and, so I'm informed, one or two escorts.
GET UP AND DANCE
The best part of a night at The Talk of the Town is the dance floor and mainly because, unlike so many bars in Hong Kong, there is room to dance. I have been squashed in far too many small dance floors in Wan Chai or Lan Kwai Fong, where it is unpleasant and just about impossible to get in any sort of cool dance moves in.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA
Last night me and my friends were treated to a thrilling display of pumping, grinding, moshing, twirling and pelvic thrusting by a very sweet young lady, who I believe is called Svetlana. What a treat! Wearing a colourful array of tight lycra animal print from the Bet Lynch spring collection accessorized with touches of bling from Ratners she really stood out. It goes without saying that she could whip her hair back and forth and boy did she ever!
STOP THAT CAVORTING!
I have thought about her quite a lot today wondering if she is in traction for neck or pelvis problems due to far too much cavorting. But just a little message for her from all the other guests on the floor "Stop it!"
Chaos on Hong Kong roads
EXPERIECED DRIVER
I successfully passed my driving test, first time, over 25 years ago and, therefore, have been a qualified driver since that point. Apart from my stint in the Magic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, when I wasn't allowed to drive due to my feminine demeanor (it's true), I have been driving various vehicles on various roads since then. I have negotiated the steep, narrow country lanes of West Yorkshire when I built up my left bicep doing scary hill starts. I have managed snow and ice driving. I have bumped across the desert and stopped on the motorway for camels in Bahrain where I saw enough accidents to last a life time. I have delivered my children to parties in unknown streets and picked them up again as well as skilfully managing fastening child seats, serving Tommy tippee cups and chopped apple, singing along to child friendly music WHILE driving.
All of this evidence means that I am a driver with experience.
GEOGRAPHY HURDLE
However, since arriving in Hong Kong I have regressed. Even the break neck speed and reckless Arabic driving style did not prepare me for Hong Kong roads. My main hurdle is geography. Even after being here a considerable amount of time, understanding the road signs seems to rely on the power of telepathy. Although there are signs to,say, Kwun Tong, how do you know when you've got to Kwun Tong? There is no sign to tell you and everything looks the same and there are no spaces in-between areas. It's all just one huge metropolis. How can you tell if you have left Jordan and are in Prince Edward or Mong Kok? What's the blooming difference?
Parking is prohibitively expensive and don't talk to me about tunnel fees. Then there is the lack of understanding regarding the rules of roundabout use.
FRIENDLY WAVE IS EXPECTED
But its the complete lack of courtesy that is the most difficult to deal with. I am programmed to queue and am hard wired to be a polite road user. I am English after all. So if someone in front is signalling to change lanes then it is protocol, in England anyway, to allow that person to manoeuvre in front of your car and you, as a sensible, polite and intelligent driver, to give him/her space to do that. It is then quite normal, no expected, that a friendly wave to acknowledge this politeness is executed.
EYES FRONT AND IGNORE
Hong Kong drivers seem blissfully unaware that other drivers need to change lanes at all and will, eyes front, continue to drive at the same speed, ignore your signal and even speed up to fill the gap so there is no chance of a safe manoeuvre causing you to drive to somewhere you don't even know and never wanted to go to in the first place. Then they have the nerve to beep their horn! This can also be done while queuing for tunnels. Everyone is crawling along. Eye contact, friendly nods or acknowledgment of the presence of other drivers can easily be made, but it never is. No weakness must be shown. Any attempt at lane changing at the tunnels is a serious chess move which, surprise surprise causes check mate regularly. If no one will let anyone else in where are we all going?
There is no courtesy on Hong Kong roads.
DOG EAT DOG
Is this dog eat dog attitude an indication of the real nature of Hong Kong people? Perhaps their obsession with making money is the same attitude that is otherwise only exposed when they get behind the wheel of a car and their polite persona in other areas is merely a front, hiding the real cut throat 'I come first' stance?
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