I have to say it.
Even George doesn't look good with one.
I am compelled to say it.
Clean shaven is best, here is proof.
I really dislike beards. I don't like them at all, not even a little bit. Not even stubble and not even, actually, especially, moustaches. I spent November in a state of constant-mild-shudder as I saw so many men sporting that unshaven, unkempt look. Facial hair eeeuuww.
I find beards repellant. I find them ugly and unclean. When I see a man with a beard I jump to conclusions about his general hygiene levels. I have nightmarish thoughts rushing through my head about the state of his sheets and his bathroom and wonder just how wild is other body hair is. I know you will jump back at me with how wrong I possibly am and that there are grooming products regarding the general upkeep and oiling and waxing of facial hair. But that is not what I see.
Other parts of the body
There is now an expectation to trim body hair. In fact, let's get right to the point here. On some body parts it has become the norm to remove that hair completely. Arm pits, legs, chest back and pubic. There I said it! There are products and services all over the place claiming to remove superfluous hair and leave the skin smooth and rash free. It is a booming business.
Yes, ALL body parts.
We are all expected to have smooth, hairless bodies otherwise we are not grooming properly and just not taking care of ourselves. That is the message pushed out there in the media and, my word, it has been taken to heart with so many salons, products and devices to remove unwanted hair in places we deem unacceptable. I could get into the porn star -v- real life argument here, but I think I'll save that for another blog.
Skin good, body hair bad.
But for some baffling reason the fashion to grow the hair on male chins has begun to take over the world. It is linked with the tweed jacket and check-shirt wearing hipster look where a massive bushy beard is an accessory.
But dear oh dear it is getting out of control. It's not funny or even ironic any more. I see the trend has moved on from having two day stubble into a wild, bushy woodland growth on the face.
Slightly more than 5 0 clock shadow Justin
Just plain lazy JUST STOP IT!
There is nothing attractive about a beard. Here is proof. Good looking men with beards become unattractive. This is a fact.
I hereby officially request that all men who have grown beards in the name of fashion or plain laziness (I suspect that is the real reason) to get back in the bathroom in the mornings and shave. Present yourself with a smooth chin and face the world with a fresh clean-shaven confidence. Go on! It'll make me happy and what could be more important than that?