Lesley in Hong Kong

How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

I feel it has become acceptable to criticize men much more so than it is to criticize women.  Having a pair of tits is not the funniest joke in the world any more but making generalizations about maleness (can't multi task, can't ask for direction, useless at remembering anniversaries blah blah blah) is more than acceptable and I don't like it.  Men - the truth I don't believe it is good enough to pass off horrible behaviour in the classroom as 'its because he is a boy'.  Horrible behaviour is horrible regardless of gender.

A feminist book

So it was with trepidation that I picked up a feminist book called 'How to be a Woman' because I thought it might be another opportunity of cheap man knocking.  I was wrong.  It turns out that me and Caitlin Moran think almost the same about a long list of issues.

Investment Handbags  are just wrong

There are a whole load of vacuous so called symbols of femininity that I don't get. Gel nails with sparkles, long hair, OK Magazine and shopping or even worse shopping with friends, having more than one handbag, having a handbag that costs the same as a car!  Moran is of the opinion that having an 'investment' handbag is total nonsense.  I totally agree.  A bag is meant to carry things around (not small dogs) and with luck matches your outfit, so don't be sucked in by the global marketing techniques that matches a stick insect woman with an ugly handbag.  Expensive equals good does it?   NO!  And if you think otherwise then you'll have to be satisfied with the fact that I am right and you are wrong!

The modern wedding

The average cost of a wedding is 25,000 pounds.  That is a shocking amount of money and I blame the conveyor belt mentality on advertising and reality tv. Conveyor belt meaning that the couple get whisked along on a spending spree of what they think is expected of them and the belt keeps on moving them along until they wave good bye to all the guests to boogie the night away at the reception.  After that is when the shock of managing their budget month to month, paying a mortgage and bringing up children they wish they'd used that money on something more practical. Moran feels the same and she talks so much sense on the subject. Set up surprise proposals and having a wedding planner, matching table centre pieces and bridesmaids is not real.

Superfluous Hair

The removal of hair from various parts of the body for very confusing socially acceptable or unacceptable reasons has become the norm and Moran's theory is this new fashion is fuelled by the easy access of porn via the internet where hair has been eliminated for the sake of a good shot (if you pardon the expression).  I too have expressed my opinion about hair in a previous blog Superfluous Hair so you can see that I should have written this book and become as rich and famous as Ms Moran.

Caitlin has become my hero, she loves her husband and her children, loves femine clothes and particularly underwear, but not high heels.  I think her description of  the birth of her first child sounds like a horror story although she got it all right the second time.  I felt rather smug at this point in the book because I got it right on the first go - I have no horror story about child birth.  I had two text book, natural births with no drama invovled and didn't feel the need to utter expletives throughout the experience.

It is so funny

I encourage you all, male or female, to read How to be a Woman because it made me laugh an incredible amount (there is a sad, controvertial bit, be warned).   She does say towards the end that she still doesn't know how to be a woman because she hasn't yet reached the menopause, had teenage children or experienced the death of a parent so I guess I must be ahead of her about learning how to do it.

New Passport British Consulate Hong Kong

 

Did you know that the procedure for applying for a British passport through the British Consulate in Hong Kong has changed?

It has.

the following is copied from the British Consulate Website

Changes to your application from 18 August

Please note the following changes that will affect your passport application. With effect from 18 August 2011, the Regional Passport Processing Centre in Hong Kong will process your passport. The passport will be printed in the United Kingdom. You will receive two packages, one containing the supporting documents you submitted, and the second package directly from the UK with your new passport.

 

Previously if you needed a new passport while living in Hong Kong you could go along to the Consulate, queue up to get through security, hand your phone in, then have your application processed in that office.   This has changed.  You can still submit your application to that office but it is sent to the UK, printed in the UK and sent back to you via DHL. 

This means it takes much longer than it used to so be aware - you need to give yourself at least four  weeks.  I suggest six to be on the safe side, plus you can apply for a passport nine months before it expires.

If you fail to do this and do need to travel and have no vailid passport then you can apply for an Emergency Travel Document (100 pounds) which you can only apply for the day before you travel.

How to apply from Hong Kong

All the information is on the website but I really thought I should make people aware of this change because you need to allow a lot more time since they changed the system in August 2011

How to get there

 

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Location and access

 

British Consulate-General, Hong Kong

---

The British Consulate-General is located at

1 Supreme Court Road,

opposite the Conrad International Hotel.

The closest MTR station is Admiralty. Use Exit C1 and take the escalator up into Queensway Shopping Centre and walk into Pacific Place. Take the escalators up towards Hong Kong Park. You will come out on Supreme Court Road. Turn left for the British Council and British Consulate-General.

Entrance to our consular, visa and passport services is located on Justice Drive.

There is no parking or waiting room for cars outside the Consulate building.

Mountain Bike Adventure - Lhasa to Kathmandu August 2011

 

 

Lhasa to Kathmandu by Fred Croft

Through Tibet on a bike - a journey not a destination by Fred Croft

 Last August HB embarked upon a most challenging cycle ride starting in Lhasa in Tibet and ending in Kathmandu in Nepal taking in some of the highest mountain passes in the world and also Everest Base Camp.  He covered a distance of 1100km in 18 days and came back 'lighter'.

 

Click on the link which will take you to www.blurb.com a self publishing website where you can preview the book and then place an order.  Its a beautiful coffee table hard back edition containing many breath-taking photographs capturing the experience.

 

A Poem

 

How HK Expat Zeitgeist are you?

 

Are you whole house, or top floor
Duplex living, out in DB or Midlevels, are you moving
near the tunnel, with your soft top
Is the school good, and the teachers
Do you zumba, or play netball
Is it Curves, when you've got time

Majong or to Shehnzen, with mainland and congestion

Are you android, or just wireless
on your iphone, makes you feel good
Are you connected, on Facebook, or Skyping
back to home town, do they know you?
in the real time, would you go home, if you knew where

 

Immigration, with the masses

Have your thumb print, and the forms filled

Is it legal can they do that – can you make me?

Are you public, red taxi on the metre

Get a good price, if you ask him

Did you say that?  Did you get there?

Were you on time, is it faster

Is it OK, to be scathing, international or the locals

 

Are you aware that you are living on the edge of a communist regime with a woeful human rights record and a demographic transition interconnected with commercialism on a global scale?

 

Do you have - an air purifier

And a maid from Manila

Is she on time,  keeps your house clean,  an accountant

Does she cook, for your husband can she massage

Pick out presents, for the play dates

Comes in handy for the handoffs

On Sundays, do you miss her

 

After Christmas, can you pay it

Does your bonus really cut it

Did you weekend in The Hyatt, was the buffet as expected

Fizzy white wine from New Zealand,

With the sushi and the chocolate, not from Hong Kong

Always imports, is it hep B you recover from

 

Local media, do you see it

Can you miss it,

RTHK in a time warp

The advice from Legco

Be happy and be nice, to your family and the dentist

Use a cliché if in doubt.

So I guess what I’m kinda asking
While I’m kinda multi tasking
Is how freakin Zeitgeist are you?

 

Tom Wood Painter

Tom posing next to his portrait of Prince Charles in the National Portrail Gallery in London

 

Here is a link to Tom Wood's new book show casing some beautiful paintings of recent times.

It's produced on a site called Blurb, you can have a look through the virtual pages and then place an order if you so wish.

 

Tom Wood's new book

 

Tom Wood Artist

Click on the link above to read Tom's blog.

 

 

 

 

http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/2588813

I am a fan of Speedos

 

I'm Sexy and I know it

I will say it again.  I am a fan of Speedos.  I said it in an earlier blog Speedos My confession

and I think this video truly confirms why I am right!

 

 

 

 

 

DV8 Physical Theatre Can We Talk About This?

DV8 Physical Theatre

Can We Talk About This?

 

This production is currently on in London DV8 Physical Theatre National Theatre, South Bank

 

"It is very, very easy not to be offended by a book.
You just have to shut it."
Salman Rushdie

 

 

I watched in awe as DV8, the physical theatre company from England, delivered a very powerful message about free speech, Islam and multiculturalism in the west.  Whilst contorting themselves around doorways, upside down - in fact many different positions and speeds, I felt totally refreshed after listening to their message which was utterly correct.  I almost I forgot I was in conservative Hong Kong. The performance was 1hr 20m with no intermission and I had no concept of the time, it held my attention throughout.

I am now contemplating changing my teaching technique to incorporate physical movements such as drinking tea while sat on the back of a large male colleague who manipulates me around his body or standing on my head to put on a pair of trousers - all movements and positions will be designed to keep my audience enthralled and I will not miss a queue or even trip slightly as my lesson is delivered and, essentially, my students will remember it once they leave the room.

My only criticism is that it is so rare to have the opportunity to see such a high standard of contemporary physical theatre in Hong Kong and I want more. (stamping of foot)

Self-Storage - why?

The Self-Storage - waste of space

 

I really want to share this story from the BBC on my favourite topic.  I used to be one of those people who paid money for years to keep stuff in storage and when I eventually got round to sorting it out 90% of it never made it back into the house and  was immediately put in a skip.

Don't make this mistake - if in doubt chuck it out should be your mantra.

 

The photograph is including because it's lovely.  Isle of Sky, dolphin.

New in Hong Kong part 2

 

There is so much ground to cover on the subject of being new in Hong Kong I feel it needs a second installment...

 

Learning Cantonese

In the beginning you will have positive intentions about learning the language.  You will imagine that it is possible to pick it up from other Hong Kong friends you meet.  You may even consider or even attend Cantonese lessons.  In about a year, or longer, you will feel confident to say the name of your street in Cantonese to a taxi driver and even though his reaction will undoubtedly be 'HA!" with a confused tone and you have to repeat it 27 times and have a conversation in English with his control room in English, you will have made progress because at least the words are being emitted from your mouth.  You will also be more confident to ask the taxi driver or mini bus driver to stop in Cantonese.  Top tip on the bus 'Pass the Jam Old Boy' gets the mini bus to stop, try shouting it out from the back seat today and see what happens.  You are allowed to feel proud if it stops where you want.  

Even though some words people say to you are actually English they have a Cantonese twist which make them harder to understand.   Just because you start copying these words doesn't mean you can speak Cantonese although you will be understood.   For example  MTR low for MTR,  capak for car park, ecuse me for excuse me or the strange custom of saying Cheers when posing for a photograph when obviously the word is Cheese (what does it mean anyway?).

Public Transport

Hong Kong public tranpsort system is the world's best, and I mean that most sincerely folks.    But to start with the names of the stations will be just noise and your journey will involve intense interest in the map with the little lights.  Your heart rate may increase as you near your station with the anticipation of what to do once you get to street level.   You will be one of those annoying people who dither and delay when scanning the magical Octopus card (have you got one yet!)  or, god forbid, at the bottom of escalators.  You may even be at risk of looking like a tourist - some one who reads the Exit signs and carries a map trying to find their way.  It is your mission not to look like a tourist by the way so avoid huge baggy shorts and socks with sandals especially in Central or TST and try not to be so pale. 

Exotic Food 

As a newbie in Hong Kong some of the food may be a challenge. Challenging Food   Chop sticks may hinder your progress but believe me you'll master those quickly.   I doubt that pig intestine, chicken's feet or a number of deep sea endangered species will ever become normal but try to be receptive to the new food and products you see in restaurants and supermarkets.   It could be a mistake to be constantly craving that particular gravy mix or condiment from back home.  It is known for some expats to bring back suitcases of their favourite consumable or even have their mother send it in bulk as a special treat.  Stop this at once.  You can get everything in Hong Kong.  Absolutely anything you want is available you just need to know where to get it (be prepared to pay for it) and if you don't then ask me!

Useful sites to make your life easier

Welcome Delivers

Park N Shop

Broadway Circuit art house cinema

Asia Expat for second hand stuff

Get into the Country Parks

Hiking Options - there is more than city

 

 

 

New in Hong Kong

Have you just arrived?

It is the time of year when a lot of new people arrive in Hong Kong.  There is a period of settling in and discoveries are made.  If you are new, let me warn you now, that you will feel a range of emotions on an hourly basis and the main focus of these emotions will be whether you have made the right decision about giving up your previous life to live away from your old friends and family.  You will change your mind depending upon the peaks and troughs of your experience, as I say, on an hourly basis.

OK may be I'm exaggerating about feeling differently every hour, but you will have moments of doubt.  

Spending Money

Obviously when you first arrive it is exciting and there are loads of things to do, organize and buy.  There will be a hemorrhaging from your bank account as you shell out two months of rent in advance, perhaps buy a car (not so much 2nd hand) tax a car (outrageous), Bonus Driving Blog FYI furnish your apartment.  And all the incidental purchases that make a home homely add up.  You will need mosquito, cockroach and ant deterrent, dehumidifiers to suck up the extra moisture that lingers in your wardrobes and rots your clothes, damp patch blog anti mold potions to keep the unsightly black film off your bathroom ceiling and new filters for your air conditioning units which may never have been cleaned. 

Funds will Fly

Your funds will fly out of your wallet in the flurry of socializing and meeting new people.  Hong Kong bar prices can be painfully high but you don't know that yet because you haven't established the exchange rate in your head accurately so you keep on buying drinks.  And because you are new and have no friends you say yes to all invitations because you want to come across as friendly and interesting.   After a while you will stop even attempting to remember any exchange rate and you will also become wiser about happy hours.

Oh and keep in mind that you will receive a lovely green envelope through the post probably just after Christmas,  this will be your tax bill.

Domestic Helpers

Guide to employing a domestic helper

You will have conversations with people who are not so new about 'helpers'.  In some cases it will be essential to hire a domestic helper so that you can actually go out of the house and do the job you have come to Hong Kong for, leaving your children to be looked after by the helper you don't know yet.  That will mean cooking, cleaning, delivering children to school, picking them up again, playing with your children and getting their pjs on just in time for you to come home, exhausted, to say good night!   A myriad of emotions just there.

Decadence

In some cases you might just want the luxury of having a cleaner.  Someone to wash and iron and make your apartment spic and span as if the fairies really did come when you were out, removed all dirt and make your home into a showroom.   You may not feel the need for such a service to start with.  You may not be used to such decadence, it may be against your principles to employ a third country national and pay them the minimum wage.  You may feel strongly that you should clean up your own mess.  Don't spend too much time beating yourself up about this - get a helper as soon as possible!

Weather Warnings

Hong Kong Observatory

Your first typhoon could be exciting, you might even have a day off from the new job and the government will infiltrate your mind through pubic service warnings encouraging you to tape over your windows, bring in heavy objects from the balcony and hide under the bed.  This will undoubtedly be unnecessary and you will be left wondering if the typhoon happened or not?  The same goes for the colour of rain, a science no one understands involving amber, red or lucky black.  Lucky because it could be a potential day off too. What to do 'official guide' Hot and Cold weather warnings are also there to protect the population so you will be advised to wear a vest when its cold and stay indoors when its hot.  A government official will call around to check on the vest wearing in winter, be warned!

Being a Giant

Map of MTR lines

Transport will be tricky.  Not only will it take time to become confident and not anxious about getting places on the MTR or mini bus you will also constantly feel like a giant person when travelling on public transport.  The seats and the width of the steps seem tiny as do every other asian person around you.  I cannot honestly say that this improves over time.   This is also a feature of clothes buying but I would need a few miles of blogging to vent my feelings about sizes of lovely clothes that don't fit and how my whole wardrobe has been purchased on holidays back home or from M&S.

Obey all Rules

Fun Police Blog

 Be aware that you must conform and do everything exactly as the Hong Kong Government and  every assosiated agency require.  If you try to buck any system you will not succeed.  Every form you are required to fill in must be 100% accurate.  If  you are asked to produce photocopies of your Grannies 25 yards swimming certificate to your last water rates bill don't for one second think they don't mean it, they most certainly do, so read every form 28 times before submitting it.  You will be asked for your HK ID card number every step of the way so memorize it immediately and be grateful for it.  Without it you will get no where, whether its getting a phone line or library book that ID card makes things happen.  

If you are an experienced Hong Kong expat what advice would you give the newbies?

 

 

 

Blue Fin Tuna

I am horrified at the story in the scmp yesterday about the Food Expo organised by the Trade and Development Council.  Japanese based Yashima Shoji Company handed out bite-sized pieces of this endangered fish as a delicacy, a treat, for visitors to their stand.

(I would provide a helpful link to the story but for some unexplained reason the South China Morning Post require a subscription to read their paper which is strange compared to other broadsheet international papers such as The Times, The Guardian, The Independent, New York Times which are all free)

The Worldwide Fund for Nature in Hong Kong have been promoting the fact that blue fin tuna is an endangered species for years but it appears to have fallen on deaf ears in Hong Kong.  Does no one care?  I really don't think that Hong Kong people are solely money driven, there has to be residents out there who are aware of the delicate environmental issues happening now, globally.  Or is it that in this tiny little dot on the map people are blinkered and if its the news isn't about GDP or the impending $6000 handout no one gives a toss!

Hong Kong is not a third world country, we are supposed to be an international city but when an endangered species is being eaten as an image of power and wealth it shows Hong Kong as ignorant.

On the bright side there is some progress, the following is a list of restaurants in Hong Kong who have pledged not to serve blue fin tuna but given the thousands of places this is a drop in the ocean (pardon the pun)

This information comes from the WWF website.

• FINDS Bar and Restaurant
• Four Seasons Hotel Hong Kong
• JW Marriott Hotel Hong Kong
• Marco Polo Hongkong Hotel
• Metropark Hotel Causeway Bay Hong Kong
• Metropark Hotel Kowloon
• Newton Hotel Kowloon
• Osama Tony
• Posto Pubblico
• Prêt A Manger
• Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club
• Simplicity Crepes + Wine
• Spices
• The Baltic
• The Charterhouse Causeway Bay Hotel
• The Excelsior, Hong Kong
• The Jockey Club Kau Sai Chau Public Golf Course Limited
• The Landmark Mandarin Oriental, Hong Kong
• The Novotel Hong Kong Citygate
• The Verandah
• Waves
• Xi Yan
• Yagura

Threats to Blue Fin Tuna from WWF Hong Kong

 

 

Sashay Cafe & Wine Bar, 52-56 Staunton Street, SOHO, Hong Kong

Feeling hungry and still not eaten I looked for a nice place to have lunch last Thursday.  I read the board outside Sashay Cafe & Wine Bar on Staunton Street.  The friendly and attentive staff encouraged me inside and helpfully explained my options for the set lunch.

It is a very clean and fresh restauant and my choice of

chilled pea and bacon soup

waldorf salad

pan fried salmon with pasta alio oli and vegetables

was excellent.

Notably their washroom facilities were pristine.  Obviously newly renovated and professionally fitted.  Important in an eatery I always think.

I had drawn these conclusions during my lunch at Sashay when the owner, quite bravely, put an alternative review on my table for me to read.  It was a damning review from the SCMP published on that day.  There was talk of very little seating,  scant choice of wine and no mention at all about the food.  The reviewer went as far as claiming a cockroach 'flew' in his ear so he had to leave. 

Now my personal experience was a good one.  I suggest that the reviewer returns and gets a proper look at this lovely cafe bar, samples and food and sits inside, even perhaps uses the bathroom and I am sure he will then be able to write a much more accurate review.

 

 

Nowhere Boy - directed by Sam Taylor-Wood

John Lennon  1961

Aaron Johnson  plays John Lennon 2010

 

I enjoyed this film a lot.  It is the story of John Lennon's adolescence, an important period in his life when his beloved uncle died suddenly leaving him with his Aunt Mimi and  also explains the very very complicated relationship he had with his mother. It ends, and I don't think I'm giving away anything here, as he heads off to Hamburg with his new band, what were they called again?  The Beatles, that's it.

We meet Paul and George fleetingly, it's too early for Ringo, but it's not about The Beetles, it's about John as a teenager and the relationships in his life which probably had a massive influence on his music and choice of instrument later.

It is British.  I am a total fan of the quiet portrayal of a character who comes alive in an authentic setting.   The attention to detail in every frame and set is delicious.  I was enthralled by each room, perfectly constructed to transport us to 1955 Liverpool.  If it was Aunt Mimi's semi detached middle class parlor or the Head master's office it was so good you could almost smell it. 

It's not a new release, it came out last year, but has only just made it to Broadway Cinamatique in Yau Ma Tei click here for  On line Ticket Sales

This is the first movie directed by the artist/photographer Sam Taylor-Wood and she has obviously used her 'eye' in the making of this, I look forward to her next work.

The Help by Katheryn Stockett

 

Enter a vanished world: Jackson, Mississippi, 1962.  Where black maids raise children but aren't trusted not to steal the silver...

That is the tag line for The Help by Katheryn Stockett

A story about coloured maids who are brave enough to trust one white women who wants them to tell her what its really like to work for a white family and look after their children while living in a racially discriminated society.  The stories are collated into a book that the authors cannot openly put their name to because they fear for their security and their lives.  

The backdrop is the civil rights movement where radical new ideas of integration and equality were being forced into the consciousness of the USA by Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and President Kennedy. 

That was in 1962.

Meanwhile here in 2011 in Hong Kong philipina maids are essential to the economy of the country but they experience discrimination.  They cannot drive, they cannot do any other type of job, they can ONLY be domestic helpers.  Other nationalities can apply for permanent residency after being in Hong Kong for seven years, but not if you are a philipina maid.

The following is from a website called Legal News, Hong Kong Lawyer 

Filipino maid challenges HK legal system over residency laws

January 2011

'A Filipino maid is challenging Hong Kong’s immigration laws in a bid to gain Hong Kong citizenship. Evangeline Banao Vallejos has filed a writ in the Court of First Instance seeking a review of the decision by authorities not to grant her permanent residency status. Vallejos has lived and worked in Hong Kong as a domestic helper for
24 years. Under Hong Kong law, non-Chinese people are entitled to permanent residency if they have ‘ordinarily resided’ in Hong Kong for a continuous period of seven years. However, the Immigration Ordinance (Cap 115) specifically excludes foreign domestic helpers from being treated as being ‘ordinarily’ resident. A human rights law firm, which is acting for Vallejos, argued that this section of the law is discriminatory and contrary to Art 24 of the Basic Law. If the challenge – on the grounds that the policy is unconstitutional under the Basic Law – is successful, 250,000 domestic helpers could apply for permanent residency once they have been in the city for seven years continuously'

 

Philippines Hails Landmark Maids Treaty

 

UPDATE  2nd October, 2011

 

Hong Kong Maid wins right to apply for permanent resident status.

Hiking in Sapa, Northern Vietnam Highlands

ET Pumpkin Adventure Travel

                                            Black H'Mong Tribes women and children

Location of Sapa

 The Journey Begins

I arrived at Hanoi Railway Station in the dark in time to get on the night train leaving at 9.10pm and arriving in Lao Cai at 5.30am.  It was quite a chaotic scene, once the ticket collectors let us through the entrance and onto the platforms.  In the dark it was quite difficult to see where any platform was and which train went where, but the night train to Sapa is a well travelled route and it was easy enough to follow the crowd and find the right train, the right carriage (special ET Pumpkin carriage written on the side) and the right berth and soft sleeper. 

I joined a jolly friendly couple from New Zealand (hello Steve and Veronica!) who were originally from England and we immediately exchanged life stories and bonded.  The young lady from New York who entered the berth a few minutes later thought we knew each other already and seemed perturbed at the easy way the conversation flowed.  Perhaps New Yorkers are more reserved?

Soft sleeper

The soft sleeper was soft enough and we were all supplied with water, a pillow and a quilt to keep us warm during the night.  The train is air conditioned.  It pulled away on time and we were on our way. 

Rocking and Rolling

After about half an hour the speed picked up and the rocking started.  And my goodness did it rock!  I can only compare it to a fair ground ride which went on for hours and hours.  None of the rocking or the metal grinding noises seemed to bother my three sleeping buddies who all settled down quickly and went to sleep.  I watched Veronica across the aisle from me and I guess she was being nudged up and down with the motion of the train by about a foot each time.  I could feel the contents of my stomach being shook.

The train arrived on time and all went to plan.  We then took a mini van to the town of Sapa itself and as we pulled up outside the first guest house to let some passengers off what seemed like an invasion of screeching Black H'Mong women dressed in their traditional costumes came rushing across the road to greet the new tourists.  At first I thought it would be a hard selling mission but actually all they wanted to do was accompany the travellers.

Tribeswomen

The same happened when I got off at Pumpkin Guest House.  The H'Mong women gathered outside on the steps all giddy and excited to join the new people.

                                       Waiting in anticipation

 Breakfast was served, scrambled eggs but not the way I have ever had them before, that is not a positive comment and I thought about offering a quick cookery lesson...

By 9.30am our group was gathered and our friendly guide was leading us up the hill and into the vast valley of stepped rice paddies.  Dih, the guide had excellent English and was able to point out all the important landmarks on the way.  Surprisingly the H'Mong women and young girls who walked with our group, and I would say we had about 15 with us, had really good basic English skills.  Enough to ask how old I was! How many children do I have and where I am from.  Then they were able to tell me about themselves.  Dih explained that none of these women or their daughters went to school but learnt English from tourists. 

The weather was cool, drizzly and very slippy underfoot, especially on the downhill sections.  I was well equipped as I had planned this in advance although for some of the group this must have been an afterthought as they had sandals with no grip or borrowed purple wellies also with no grip.  This meant slow progress down hill as well as a few falls and muddy bottoms.  Each time it got a bit tricky or slippy the H'Mong women were really helpful, assisting us and ensuring we didn't fall.  Their footwear was merely plastic sandals and they do that walk every day.

Mavis

New best friend

Sue

Rita

The hike lasted until 5pm with lunch in a H'Mong village on the way which consisted of fried chicken, rice and salad and chocolate bar.  This was eaten in a little hut, which had a tv, while we were viewed by the children of the village through the window.  I felt like a novelty item or feeding time at the zoo but they were actually very polite children who then really nicely shared any food we didn't want between each of them very fairly which was lovely to see.

In the evening I was given a basic three course meal in the guest house and then had an exploratory look around the town which has typical shops selling Vietnamese style silk clothes and H'Mong items all embroidered in the traditional style.  There are a variety of places to eat from Vietnamese to Thai, Indian and a few western choices too.  Because of the French influence there are a few lovely patisseries.

The next day was a similar hike although it was shorter and was over by 12 o clock.  Frankly the first one was the best and all the things we saw and were explained to us by Sue

We'd already heard the day before, plus the route was very touristy following concrete steps to a waterfall.  The route was lined with market stalls for most of the way although they were not overly pushy.  Of course if you go down hill you must go up again and that was a bit of a slog but we had a break and a cold drink and a lolly looking over the valley at the beautiful rice paddies.

ET Pumpkin, Ma May Street, Hanoi

I used this company for a two day hiking trip to Sapa in the North Highlands of Vietnam.  Their website was clear and easy to use and the trip turned out to be exactly as it said in their information.  It short it was a really interesting and very different holiday experience.  I would have every confidence in recommending this company and would definitely use them again.

I paid for the trip in advance, before I got to Vietnam, by transferring money via Western Union, that was really easy and straightforward.  Pumpkin acknowledged receipt of the money by the next day. 

The price of the trip included an overnight train ride from Hanoi to Lao Cai Railway Station and then a half hour bus ride to Sapa itself.  One night in a basic guest house, all meals and then an overnight train ride back to Hanoi.  All in all I had three nights away.

Luang Prabang, Laos

Giving alms to Buddist monks

I have just spent three wonderful days in Luang Prabang, Laos (in travel speak 4D/3N) and now I am wondering why I left.

It is a truly wonderful, peaceful, town that offers calmness I have hardly ever experienced in a tourist destination.

This trip was an unexpected detour which I hadn't actually planned when I set off to Hanoi but as number one daughter was passing through Laos and it seemed so tantalizingly near I got online to find Vietnamese Airways offering flights and in the blink of an eye I was winging my way from Vietnam to Luang Prabang in Laos when the day before I hadn't even heard of it.

I did have a slight visa issue because once I had left Vietnam I used up my single entry visa which, cleverly, I realized on the Thursday when I arrived.  This meant a couple of trips to the Vietnamese Embassy in Luang Prabang and US$50 to that I could return to Hanoi and continue my original trip.  The office is open from 7.30am-11.30am, closed for two hours and then open until 4.30pm, it is closed at the weekends and public holidays so I count myself clever to realise I needed to get the new visa in my passport before arriving at the airport on a Sunday.  Could have been tricky...

But now I wish I hadn't been so clever and been made to stay in Laos longer - then I could still been there saying "Oh dear, I have to stay because I don't have a visa for Vietnam!"

Luang Prabang is a UNESCO World Heritage Site because it has such well preserved  temples and was the chosen capital of King Sisavangvong and his family.  Ho Kham is now the Royal Palace Museum.  The main event happens at sunrise each morning as hundreds of monks dressed in orange, who all live in the well preserved temples, walk along the main street to collect alms.  To see this sight means getting up very very early which I can smugly announce I did.

My room at Villa Santi Hotel and Spa was literally 20 steps away from where the procession walks by.  Did I say how early I got up - 5.30am!  But because in my head that is still night I didn't actually wash or dress.  You've guessed it, I was one of those people in the street in their pyjamas.  I did avail myself of the hotel's robe so I wasn't so indecent. 

Three ladies immediately flocked around me pushing rattan plates with sticky rice wrapped in banana leaves.  I sat on the pavement and as the monks walked by I put food in their bowls, as did many others also crouching on the pavement.

I then had a row with the three ladies who seemed to want far too much money for their services and tutted a lot when I refused to give them what they asked for.  This didn't seem fitting for the previous spiritual experience of feeling so close to the monks and soaking up the calmness of the early morning. They wanted 80,000 kip whereas the younger crowd were asked for 10,000 kip.

 

Number one daughter's opinion about this is that I don't look like a backpacker so they think I'm rich.  She suggests I get myself some tie dyed items and a t-shirt stating the last place I visited. (I went tubing in Vang Vieng Tubing)  That way I cease to be a target for explotation.  I might try it. 

Water Falls

Outside of the town accessable by affordable tuktuk are two sites of water falls.  Tat Kuang Si falls.  There are freezing plunge pools and rope swings for the thrill seakers.

 

The night market which is set up each evening from 5.30pm to 10pm is the quietest market in the world.  The traders remain polite yet attentive and there is no hasstle.  Not one stall holder shouted "Pound of bananas"  they had class.  The items for sale were exquisite and very origianl.  I have visited tourist markets many times but his one had very high quality items at reasonable prices.  But not being hussled and bussled to buy was such a refreshing change.  As well as the market there are wonderful boutique style shops lining the main strip on Sikavangvong Street plus wonderful cafes and restaurants offering Laos, Thai and Indian food as well as western style coffee shops.

Laos sausage

I intend to go back and stay longer and perhaps take a slow boat from Luang Prabang to Chiang Mai as number one daughter is doing right now.

 

 

 

The Rule of Pants

Pants - you have to have standards

I ventured into the realms of fashion a couple of days ago and made it known to the world that there are very strict rules regarding the wearing of socks.  If there are still folk out there who are unsure or unaware of the rules please refer to the previous blog called Socks- it's a mine field.  It has been suggested that I add a section about hikers and the red sock and chunky hiking boot plus there has been dispute over dark socks and trainers - honestly its a cheek!

I am now turning my attention to the subject of pants.  I mean pants, the sort you wear under your clothes (not trousers).  Briefs, knickers, panties, underwear, skivvies, smalls (feel free to add more names). 

I think this subject needs to be dealt with according to gender so I will tackle the men first.

There seems to be two main camps when the subject of male underwear is chosen and worn.  One lot prefer the boxer and the other the tighter cotton brief.  I am not a man.  It is a matter of personal choice, I cannot stress this enough.  But it has always been a bit of a mystery to me why men want to wear cotton boxers that have no support or stretch in them.  Surely a little support in that area would be beneficial?  I am just thinking how bras offer such support for females so it follows that the same would be true of the testicle area?  A further advantage of the brief would be less bulk under trousers or shorts, surely?  All explanations would be welcome here.

 

I also need to direct you to my previous blog on speedos and my confession at ths point.

Boxer Shorts

No Commandos Please

The strictest rule for males to adhere to is the wearing of underwear or at least if you have no underwear and are going to wear shorts then it is essential that the shorts have their own sewn in liner offering a snug hammock for the male parts and ensuring there is no embarrassment.  For instance when sitting down with legs apart or casually placing ones foot on a chair giving others an unrestricted view up the leg of the shorts. 

Female Pants

There are hundreds of different styles for women and it should logically follow that there should be enough styles for all the different shaped bottoms in the world.  But you'd be wrong.  Women's pants manufacturers are blind to the fact that pants have to cover cheeks so not make the dreaded VPL (visible pantie line) plus the invention of the thong has merely created a nasty infection spreading razor which is a useless piece of clothing.

Trinny and Susannah do talk some sense when it comes to foundation garments and have exposed a number of out of control wobbling bottoms in their attempt to up the standard of acceptable dress in the UK.  Magic Knickers

Girls, don't continue with ill fitting knickers that dig into your flesh and cause bulges ga lour.  There are some excellent body shaping items in Marks & Spencer these days.

And Spanx have a whole range of items to smooth any lump or bump.  See the Spanx Before and After photographs for yourself.  

 
There is even a male version of Spanx and I don't think men should shy away from this garment.  It could be a revolution for bellies world wide.  Spanx for Men offer compression under garments to help suck in bellies, its the Playtex 18 hour girdle for men.  It had to come one day.

 

Gentle reader, I conducted my own photographic survey this morning of pants in the local vicinity and I was shocked and horrified at some of the sights I found hanging around the place for all to see.  My mother was too shy to hang her pants on the washing line and kept them drying inside for modesty sake!  But some of the examples of shabby, worn out rags that pass  as underwear need to be seriously assessed and made into dusters at once.  (that's what my mother also used to do).  Check your knicker drawer now and if there are any that look like this, put them in the bin.

 

The washed out dark blue
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

                                                      Little and Large

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skiddies!

 

 

 

                                            Duster pretending to be underwear.

Socks - it's a mine field!

A law breaker

Are you fashion conscious?

Do you know how to coordinate colours?

Can you accurately tell what a fabric is just by touch?

Or do you simply not care what you look like, have no clue which colour contrasts with another, especially in the morning (then have to suffer it all day) , and constantly make shopping blunders which could be anything from getting the wrong size, wrong material or just plain wrong.

Fashion is a mine field.  There are so many choices to be made not only when shopping for new clothes but every single morning when the wardrobe doors are opened and items must be selected, obviously depending on what's in the wash.

It is the small accessories that can add a certain je ne sais quoi to any outfit.  That statement jewelry, the correctly placed belt or the right shoes can have a dramatic effect.  But the one item which can make or break an outfit is the in the foot area and if the choice of foot ware is wrong you are in serious danger of being ostracised by society and labelled as a total loser.

You think I exaggerate? I do not.  There are so many unwritten rules about sock wearing and I feel it my duty to explain a few points to you all.

No Socks with Sandals - it's the law

The sock wearing rule about wearing socks with sandals should never, under any circumstances, be broken.  If you still do not know about this one and are wondering why people point and laugh at you in the street, why your children walk six paces behind you and you are constantly drinking alone then look at your feet.  Are you an offender?  Are you wearing sandals because the weather has warmed up?  Yes would be a good answer especially in summer.  But have you omitted to leave your socks in the drawer?  Dear reader, even if you want to wear sandals but feel your feet will be cold or will be uncomfortable rubbing on the harsh newly purchased items you still cannot wear socks.  You must suffer cold feet and anything else that comes along because you must never break the sock wearing rule EVER!

Law breaker

Trainers and Sock Rule

If you are a sporty type person or wear trainers for comfort and fashion be aware of the sock wearing rule connected with trainers.  It used to be fine to wear a white ankle length sports sock with trainers.  It is not and never has been fine to wear any other colour of sock with trainers. But that was back in the 80's.  The more modern approach to sock wearing and trainers is the 'trainer sock'.  This is because the new law about sock wearing is that they have to be secret socks that, under any circumstances, must not show above the shoe.

Secret socks. Ssshh we are not really here

School Shoes Rule

As well as secret socks with trainers it has become an absolute crime for school girls to wear school shoes with socks that show above the shoe.  If mothers are not aware of this and are wondering why their daughter is unhappy in school, is sullen or sulky  try looking in her sock drawer.  This could be the answer to all future happiness in her school life.  It is absolutely essential to buy school shoes according to the school rules but also to buy socks according to the rule of socks.  Mums, learn this now, they must not show.  Girls, if your mum or your teacher makes you wear ankle socks that actually give away the fact that you are wearing socks the only alternative is to roll the sock down and flip it under your heel.  That is the method adopted by school girls who want to have friends.  It is a bit like rolling the waist band of your skirt up at the bus stop after you've left home and before you get to school.

This child is lonely and sad

There are other sock wearing rules that one must never break because if you do, the method of your sock wearing can change who you as a person.

Socks with flip flops - makes you a complete idiot.

utterly ridiculous

Knee high socks - for women over the age of 10, makes you a complete flibbertigibbet.

 

Flibbertigibbet

White socks dark shoes, oh no!

For men the pairing of a white sock and a formal dark shoe makes you an untrustworthy car salesman type and people will call you a plonker to your face. If you are actually a car salesmen you will probably not sell many cars unless it is to other white sock wearing/dark shoe wearing men.

Oi Rodney! You plonker

Cartoon Socks - zany?

Cartoon socks are in the same category as cartoon ties.  Must only be worn by male primary school teachers on specified 'fun days' other than that they should be designated to the back of the drawer and forgotten about.  I know people think they are a fun stocking filler at Christmas but they are never meant to be worn by grown males. If worn it makes you a zany fun loving guy, which really means a complete tosser.

Keep them in the back of the drawer for ever

Holes (or potaoes) 

Then there is the most heinous of crimes.  You may have got the length right.  You may have got the colour right.  But your chosen socks for the day have holes in them and, god forbid, you are required to take your shoes off and expose your self as a total slob, loser or cretin who has let themselves go, has no self respect and probably is loved by no one not even your mother.  It is that critical.  Never never never wear socks with holes.

The unloved

Public Warning

Wear socks with due care and attention.  Your future happiness depends on it.

Sea Foot Reflexology, Sai Kung

Pedicure, Shanghai Style

A few months ago I blogged about a wonderful experience I had in Shanghai involving a man with a head torch and a sharp blade.  He used this to rid my heels of hard skin and he was so incredibly skilled at this and I was so incredibly impressed I wanted to tell the world. 

You can get Everything in Sai Kung

I have now found that in Sai Kung there is an option of a Shanghai style pedicure at Sea Foot Reflexology House, 1/F, 60 Po Tung Road, 2791 0328. 

Sure enough I was attended to by a lady with a chisel/blade and a very bright light who attended to my feet while I relaxed and flicked through recent copies of Hello magazine.  Afterwards I was offered a foot massage and went away feeling truly attended to.  $260 thank you very much.

10th July, 2010

NB

For accuracy I have to now add that this morning I am in pain!  My left heel is so sore that I can't walk properly and have had to put a band aid over the sore patch so I can wear shoes.  This is bad news and I withdraw my recommendation of the Shanghai Style pedicure...