Lesley in Hong Kong

Street Food Beijing Wangfujing Street

Scorpion on a stick!

                                                                                                  Chili Sparrows

 

More scorpions, star fish and sea horses - on a stick.  Are you getting the culinary theme now?

 

 

 

 

 

I had a trip to Beijing.  The food was terrific and so, as is the way in Asia I took photographs of the food and have posted them for your delight.  Some are on Facebook, obviously, because that is the sole reason for its existence.  ie  Go out to eat, take photos of your plate of food (even if it looks like dog vomit) and then post the image on Facebook to show everyone just what a good time you had.

The street market at Wangfujing Street had some delicious snacks (I could have put snakes there for a hilarious typo but it would have been true not a joke) which reminded me of the scene from Monty Python's Life of Brian "Rat on a stick" - I know you understand my inter-textual reference because you are clever.  The People's Front

I have to tell that I couldn't actually eat anything that looked like a bug or a small bird especially when some of them were still wriggling their poor little legs.  They were not dead just speared on a stick and waiting to be grilled. 

 

I did try the toffee coated strawberries though and can highly recommend them.

Advice to Women/Advice to Men - Magazine Problem Page

It's mandatory you know?

Reading women's magazines that is. 

Thrilling Work

My theory is based on the female gender but I suspect that men read them too.   Since my teens I have been flicking through their glossy pages, be it a Marie Claire or a Cosmopolitan, Woman & Home or Good Housekeeping,  or even an OK (which I never buy, but always look at when someone else does).  Such publications have been on the newspaper stands for decades and I imagine, like Ugly Betty, that their offices are crammed full of people who are busily involved in putting them together every month.  It must be thrilling to get a story together, arrange the photograph shoot, make appointments with tall moody models and sintilatingly exciting celebrities for interview? 

Or is it...

After extensive research into the subject I find that they are a series of repeated material because month after month they base their substantial pages on:-

a) extensive advertising, but that goes without saying

b) pages of fatuously useles advice about hair products thinly veiled as advertising for hair products

c)  losing weight, thinly veiled messages to all readers that they are too fat

d) photographs of thin models to make all readers feel depressed see point c).

As we all clearly understand the only single reason for purchasing a magazine is the problem page.  As a Jackie reading teenager me and friend Debbie would read the letters to Aunty Agony and laugh out loud (note how I wrote that in full) but never ever would we even consider reading the answer.  They were all totally obvious problems about complextion (spots) or boyfriends (has he noticed me yet) or girlfriends (he has noticed her not me).

Stuff you Can't Afford

As I grew I progressed to Cosmopolitan or even Marie Claire, the situation remained the same, as in the articles are the same every month, hair, diet, and pictures of stuff you can't afford.  Don't get me started on articles about the perfect bra...

The problem page has always remained the most interesting and I have to admit to still never reading the answers.  Cosmopolitan

Recently in Cosmo we have this question:-

 

Have We Drifted Apart?

I have a best friend of four years.  She was there for me in a bad time when nobody else was.  Now I am at college miles away and I have a job with some really great people.  When I ask if she wants to visit and come out with us she never does.  I feel like I've moved on but she hasn't.  What do I do?

Obviously I'm not going to tell you what Irma said in reply because its up to you to fill in that part yourself given your vast life experience and intelligence.  And also because it is a vacuous letter that doesn't warrant an answer.

However, I have now discovered MEN's magazines and in particular Esquire where I find that A.A.Gill is the Agony Aunt under the pen name of Uncle Dysfunctional and find his responses to be most satisfying and I hope you do too?  Uncle Dysfunctional

Dear Uncle,
It’s spring-ish. Please, what’s the definitive rule on shorts?

Edgar, Soho

I’m so pleased you asked me, Ed. It’s never after 12. Years, not o’clock.

No 13-year-old or over should ever be seen in trousers that finish above the ankle. It doesn’t matter how good your legs are, or if you’re on a beach in Bermuda where they invented the things.

This isn’t about tan or temperature. This is about dignity. It is impossible to be taken seriously in shorts. No one has ever cared about anything said by a man in shorts.

You can propose marriage naked or in handcuffs, but no one is going to agree to forsake all others for a man in shorts. You can’t declare war in shorts or deliver a eulogy in shorts.

Shorts are silly. Men in shorts are silly men. And silly is the very worst thing a man can be.

So my research I recommend Men's Magazines over Women's Magazines given that this advice is so much more practical, honest and worth reading.

Private Lives, McAulay Studio Theatre, Wanchai, Hong Kong

The comic masterpiece by Noel Coward The man

Private Lives

February 22nd-25th, 2012

McAulay Studio Theatre, Wanchai, Hong Kong  Website

Adam Harris, Director and Elyot Chase and much much more

Noel Coward (1899-1971) wrote Private Lives What Wikipedia says over the course of just four days while recovering from illness at the Peace Hotel in Shanghai. 

(Tenuous Hong Kong link)  He typed up his final manuscript while staying at the Peninsula Hotel in Kowloon. 

After a provincial tour the play had its London opening at the Phoenix Theatre on 24th September, 1930 with Coward himself as Elyot and Gertrude Lawrence as Amanda.  Victor was played by a very young Laurence Olivier.

In this satire the affectations and polite manners of the upper crust in the 1930s are exposed, and ultimately shattered, by giving the audience an intimate glimpse of life behind closed doors.  It shows that the human condition has no class boundaries so the horrors of domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse and the inevitable breakdown of a relationship is just as pathetic for the upper classes as it is for the participants of a Jeremy Kyle talk show.  I am quite sure that the twists and turns of Elyot and Amanda's relationship have been used in every soap opera from Coronation Street to Dallas.

The farcical sequence of events the four main characters are subjected to are comedic, but just like a member of a Jeremy Kyle audience, squirmingly uncomfortable to witness.  Snorting cocaine, face slapping, drink slinging and bottle breaking are there to shock and seduce. 

The close proximity of the audience to the cast in the McAuley Studio creates an intimate feel.  To witness a drama performance  in this way makes the experience highly engaging.  Watching Elyot and Amanda being intimate on their sofa, as if at home, almost made me want to avert my eyes.  Were we eves-dropping, spying on them?  Were we supposed to be there so involved in the sexual tension?  Seeing them relaxing, guard down in night wear, a smidgen away from nakedness?

It was particularly enjoyable to see Adam Harris in his pyjamas and especially thrilling to see him with such a dapper, slicked-back,  hair cut.  He is captivating to watch and, when dressed,  his costume was elegant and stylish.   Surely the driving force in this production.

Who on earth dressed Amanda?  The opening scene featured a very flimsy black full length petticoat which was badly made and ill-fitting.  She left the scene to 'slip on a dress' and entered with an even worse cream shiny number, again flimsy, badly made and ill-fitting but this time the zip had broken.  I know it is easy to get things made in Hong Kong - so why not get something substantial that fits?  The awful dresses would probably not have been so noticeable if it hadn't been for the dreadful nylon wig which had a greeny, yellow tinge and in no way could have been mistaken for real hair - forget the wig go with your real hair!

The character of Sibyl was truly annoying. She was meant to be irritating, spoilt, immature and asian.  She succeeded.

Private Lives produced and directed by the irrepressible and dapper Adam Harris, the George Clooney of Hong Kong, was an excellent and brave production.  I highly recommend going to see future performances or productions where Adam is involved.

 

Coming soon Vincent, a one-man show about the artist Vincent van Gogh in May

 

 

 

Stuff White People Like by Christian Lander

 

 

I saw this and thought "It must mean me?"

Hooked by this title I read on...  to a point it is very true and full of witertaining observations from a white, western point of view although it is based on the assumption that all white people live in America and have an affinity to Canada so that part fell on stony ground for me, and to some extent also assumes a maleness and even possibly an under 40sness.  I'm just saying!

He has a website also full of wise words about 'stuff' Stuff White People Like and if you like that you might also like a quick surf at White Whine.com A Collection of First-World Problems  which puts 'stuff' into perspective for those rich spoilt brats out there.

Here is a snippet from SWPL

Outdoor Performance Clothes

As white people get older, they like to have clear boundaries between their professional and personal lives.   They don't mind talking about their personal life at work, but they hate talking about their work life when they are enjoying a weekend or vacation.  But with BlackBerry's and laptops, white people could be working anywhere, at any time.  So how do you know when they are off the clock?  It's easy;  just check their clothes.

When white people aren't working, they generally like to wear outdoor performance clothes.  The top suppliers of these garments and accessories include North Face, REI, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Columbia Sportswear and Patagonia.  When you see white people wearing these brands, it is important that you do not discuss business matters.  Instead you should say things like 'Where did you get that fleece?" and "What's that thing holding your keys to your shorts?" White people will be more than happy to talk to you about their sustainably produced possessions.

The main reason white people like these clothes is that they allow them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park.  It could be 4:00pm on a Saturday when they might get the call. "Hey, man, you know what we need to do?  Kayak then camping, right now.  I'm on my way to get you.  There is no time to change clothes."

Though this is unlikely that they will ever receive this call, white people hate the idea of missing an opportunity to enjoy outdoor activities just because they weren't wearing the right clothes.

If you plan on spending part of your weekend with a white person, it is strongly recommended that you purchase a jacket or some sort of 'high-performance' T-shirt, which is like a regular shirt, just a lot more expensive.

How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

I feel it has become acceptable to criticize men much more so than it is to criticize women.  Having a pair of tits is not the funniest joke in the world any more but making generalizations about maleness (can't multi task, can't ask for direction, useless at remembering anniversaries blah blah blah) is more than acceptable and I don't like it.  Men - the truth I don't believe it is good enough to pass off horrible behaviour in the classroom as 'its because he is a boy'.  Horrible behaviour is horrible regardless of gender.

A feminist book

So it was with trepidation that I picked up a feminist book called 'How to be a Woman' because I thought it might be another opportunity of cheap man knocking.  I was wrong.  It turns out that me and Caitlin Moran think almost the same about a long list of issues.

Investment Handbags  are just wrong

There are a whole load of vacuous so called symbols of femininity that I don't get. Gel nails with sparkles, long hair, OK Magazine and shopping or even worse shopping with friends, having more than one handbag, having a handbag that costs the same as a car!  Moran is of the opinion that having an 'investment' handbag is total nonsense.  I totally agree.  A bag is meant to carry things around (not small dogs) and with luck matches your outfit, so don't be sucked in by the global marketing techniques that matches a stick insect woman with an ugly handbag.  Expensive equals good does it?   NO!  And if you think otherwise then you'll have to be satisfied with the fact that I am right and you are wrong!

The modern wedding

The average cost of a wedding is 25,000 pounds.  That is a shocking amount of money and I blame the conveyor belt mentality on advertising and reality tv. Conveyor belt meaning that the couple get whisked along on a spending spree of what they think is expected of them and the belt keeps on moving them along until they wave good bye to all the guests to boogie the night away at the reception.  After that is when the shock of managing their budget month to month, paying a mortgage and bringing up children they wish they'd used that money on something more practical. Moran feels the same and she talks so much sense on the subject. Set up surprise proposals and having a wedding planner, matching table centre pieces and bridesmaids is not real.

Superfluous Hair

The removal of hair from various parts of the body for very confusing socially acceptable or unacceptable reasons has become the norm and Moran's theory is this new fashion is fuelled by the easy access of porn via the internet where hair has been eliminated for the sake of a good shot (if you pardon the expression).  I too have expressed my opinion about hair in a previous blog Superfluous Hair so you can see that I should have written this book and become as rich and famous as Ms Moran.

Caitlin has become my hero, she loves her husband and her children, loves femine clothes and particularly underwear, but not high heels.  I think her description of  the birth of her first child sounds like a horror story although she got it all right the second time.  I felt rather smug at this point in the book because I got it right on the first go - I have no horror story about child birth.  I had two text book, natural births with no drama invovled and didn't feel the need to utter expletives throughout the experience.

It is so funny

I encourage you all, male or female, to read How to be a Woman because it made me laugh an incredible amount (there is a sad, controvertial bit, be warned).   She does say towards the end that she still doesn't know how to be a woman because she hasn't yet reached the menopause, had teenage children or experienced the death of a parent so I guess I must be ahead of her about learning how to do it.

Tom Wood Painter

Tom posing next to his portrait of Prince Charles in the National Portrail Gallery in London

 

Here is a link to Tom Wood's new book show casing some beautiful paintings of recent times.

It's produced on a site called Blurb, you can have a look through the virtual pages and then place an order if you so wish.

 

Tom Wood's new book

 

Tom Wood Artist

Click on the link above to read Tom's blog.

 

 

 

 

DV8 Physical Theatre Can We Talk About This?

DV8 Physical Theatre

Can We Talk About This?

 

This production is currently on in London DV8 Physical Theatre National Theatre, South Bank

 

"It is very, very easy not to be offended by a book.
You just have to shut it."
Salman Rushdie

 

 

I watched in awe as DV8, the physical theatre company from England, delivered a very powerful message about free speech, Islam and multiculturalism in the west.  Whilst contorting themselves around doorways, upside down - in fact many different positions and speeds, I felt totally refreshed after listening to their message which was utterly correct.  I almost I forgot I was in conservative Hong Kong. The performance was 1hr 20m with no intermission and I had no concept of the time, it held my attention throughout.

I am now contemplating changing my teaching technique to incorporate physical movements such as drinking tea while sat on the back of a large male colleague who manipulates me around his body or standing on my head to put on a pair of trousers - all movements and positions will be designed to keep my audience enthralled and I will not miss a queue or even trip slightly as my lesson is delivered and, essentially, my students will remember it once they leave the room.

My only criticism is that it is so rare to have the opportunity to see such a high standard of contemporary physical theatre in Hong Kong and I want more. (stamping of foot)

Nowhere Boy - directed by Sam Taylor-Wood

John Lennon  1961

Aaron Johnson  plays John Lennon 2010

 

I enjoyed this film a lot.  It is the story of John Lennon's adolescence, an important period in his life when his beloved uncle died suddenly leaving him with his Aunt Mimi and  also explains the very very complicated relationship he had with his mother. It ends, and I don't think I'm giving away anything here, as he heads off to Hamburg with his new band, what were they called again?  The Beatles, that's it.

We meet Paul and George fleetingly, it's too early for Ringo, but it's not about The Beetles, it's about John as a teenager and the relationships in his life which probably had a massive influence on his music and choice of instrument later.

It is British.  I am a total fan of the quiet portrayal of a character who comes alive in an authentic setting.   The attention to detail in every frame and set is delicious.  I was enthralled by each room, perfectly constructed to transport us to 1955 Liverpool.  If it was Aunt Mimi's semi detached middle class parlor or the Head master's office it was so good you could almost smell it. 

It's not a new release, it came out last year, but has only just made it to Broadway Cinamatique in Yau Ma Tei click here for  On line Ticket Sales

This is the first movie directed by the artist/photographer Sam Taylor-Wood and she has obviously used her 'eye' in the making of this, I look forward to her next work.

The Help by Katheryn Stockett

 

Enter a vanished world: Jackson, Mississippi, 1962.  Where black maids raise children but aren't trusted not to steal the silver...

That is the tag line for The Help by Katheryn Stockett

A story about coloured maids who are brave enough to trust one white women who wants them to tell her what its really like to work for a white family and look after their children while living in a racially discriminated society.  The stories are collated into a book that the authors cannot openly put their name to because they fear for their security and their lives.  

The backdrop is the civil rights movement where radical new ideas of integration and equality were being forced into the consciousness of the USA by Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and President Kennedy. 

That was in 1962.

Meanwhile here in 2011 in Hong Kong philipina maids are essential to the economy of the country but they experience discrimination.  They cannot drive, they cannot do any other type of job, they can ONLY be domestic helpers.  Other nationalities can apply for permanent residency after being in Hong Kong for seven years, but not if you are a philipina maid.

The following is from a website called Legal News, Hong Kong Lawyer 

Filipino maid challenges HK legal system over residency laws

January 2011

'A Filipino maid is challenging Hong Kong’s immigration laws in a bid to gain Hong Kong citizenship. Evangeline Banao Vallejos has filed a writ in the Court of First Instance seeking a review of the decision by authorities not to grant her permanent residency status. Vallejos has lived and worked in Hong Kong as a domestic helper for
24 years. Under Hong Kong law, non-Chinese people are entitled to permanent residency if they have ‘ordinarily resided’ in Hong Kong for a continuous period of seven years. However, the Immigration Ordinance (Cap 115) specifically excludes foreign domestic helpers from being treated as being ‘ordinarily’ resident. A human rights law firm, which is acting for Vallejos, argued that this section of the law is discriminatory and contrary to Art 24 of the Basic Law. If the challenge – on the grounds that the policy is unconstitutional under the Basic Law – is successful, 250,000 domestic helpers could apply for permanent residency once they have been in the city for seven years continuously'

 

Philippines Hails Landmark Maids Treaty

 

UPDATE  2nd October, 2011

 

Hong Kong Maid wins right to apply for permanent resident status.

Fish Maw and Sea Cucumber - Weird Chinese Food

Fish Maw Wikipedia say  (swim bladder, gas bladder, air bladder of a fish)

The Menu Madam

I love reading menus.  Its all  part of a good night out.  It is a most satisfactory experience and I have a great sense of satisfaction when the decision has been made and the order is in.  It means that I have carefully considered every dish on offer and chosen the best one, the one I am in the mood for.

Be Adventurous why don't you?

It was put to me recently that I should put myself in a situation of trying food that I would not normally try.  'What on earth for?' was my reply.  I know I have lived in Hong Kong for ten years and I also know that in my heart I am a roast beef and Yorkshire pudding kind of girl. 

I know what I like.

Ordering Skills

But I was cajoled and coerced into trying something a little bit different this evening.  It was actually built up over a week when the words fish maw and (It is not a vegetable, more like a slug) sea cucumber, fungus and pork intestines were banded around willy nilly.  This was all a sneaky underhand plan to make me feel boring, unadventurous and inadequate in my menu browsing and ordering skills.  Quite offensive really but the tactic worked.

Bush Tucker Challenge

By the time I sat down in the Chinese Restaurant at the HKUST  I was bigged up to order the weirdest stuff on the menu, in fact I was looking forward to the challenge.  I thought it of it like  Fear Factor or a Bush Tucker Challenge (see I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here) and so after some banter and a sharing of reading glasses Failing eyesight blog (I always have at least one pair on the table these days) the order was placed:-

fillet of groupa in an orange dressing

scallops with lily bulbs

fish maw with sea cucumber

lotus, black fungus with honey beans

and then just in case we really couldn't put any of that to our lips we also had:-

sweet & sour pork

fried rice with chicken and ginger

You want WHAT?

I was watching the waiter's face for signs of surprise, perhaps he would challenge us politely, carefully suggesting that we had made some culinary mistake because it's not what us folk usually order.  It wasn't to be, and why should he be in any way doubtful that we wouldn't like it.  Hundreds of other people order this stuff every Friday night. 

It all arrived and was placed in the middle of the table for a shared experience, as all Chinese food is.  No one gets a whole dish  to themselves that is just not cricket.  Everyone gets a taste of everything.  It the way things are done.  

Where is your napkin!

I saw the sea cucumber lurking among the fish maw and went for it.  Stabbing a piece with my chopsticks and carefully transporting the slippery little sucker to my plate.  But it jumped!  It left my chop stick grasp and landed in my lap covering my beige trousers in soy sauce and a greasy mark over both legs and on the crutch area.  Damn! 

Offensive or not?

Eventually it made it to my mouth and so did the fish maw.  To be frank, sea cucumber is just weird.  This is a technical term in the foodie world.  I detected no flavour apart from the oil and soy sauce it had been cooked in so it was not offensive but I hated the jelly-like texture.  As I chewed it just broke up into smaller jelly-like lumps in my mouth but never melted away like say a raspberry jelly does.  The fish maw, see picture above,  on the other hand was ok, not fishy.  I had quite a few bits of it and now I have identified it I could now spot it at the local supermarket and purchase it for my own cooking (but I won't!).

The groupa was great and the orange dressing a delight. 

lotus root

Lotus with black fungus and honey bean - quite nice although no distinguishable taste, it is the a textural difference between the ingredients which is to be appreciated.

cooked black fungus

Lost in Translation

Now don't be put off by the name.  Fungus is merely a name for mushrooms and I guess that in translation this type of mushroom becomes fungus, after all that is what mushrooms are.  This translation just doesn't sound too appetizing does it?  Don't be frightened, try it!

Once the plates were cleared away (there was plenty of sea cucumber left for a doggy bag although I declined the offer - funny that?)

The obvious sequence of events leads us to dessert and the more weird stuff on the menu was just crying out to be tasted:-

Wolf berry and osmanthus jelly and

glutinous dark pudding with coconut

wolf or goji berry

Osmanthus dried flower

Have you got jam rolly polly and custard?

This turned out to be lumps of plain gelatin with a few bits of dried flower (can be used as tea) and chopped up wolf berry and sugar.  Nothing of any significance.  Is it that the Chinese just don't do puddings?  For sure the cake in these parts is totally tasteless unless you happened to like synthetic cream and sponge.  The glutinous dark pudding with coconut had a nice light flavour and was the texture of a mouse although brought back vivid memories of Angel Delight.

Not much gagging

So to sum up the array of flavours, textures and tastes delivered to our table during the evening were stimulating, interesting and - well to be honest - Chinese food flavour.  It is all much of a muchness whatever the main ingredients are the cooking process (wok with soy sauce) is much the same for nearly every dish.  On a more positive note  there were no real retching or gag moments as I had imagined may happen.  That would have been the worst case scenario and apart from the sea cucumber on the trousers  it was actually rather pleasant and has opened my mind to, perhaps one day may be soon, ordering at least one dish I haven't tried before next time I find myself in a Chinese restaurant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coronation Street

I have fallen off the wagon and am now back in the routine of watching Coronation Street on a week day daily basis.  I never thought it would catch me again having weened myself off it ten years ago.  But Granada TV is now a channel on offer on Now TV in Hong Kong with a 6.30am and a 6.30pm viewing every day.  On the weekend there is an omnibus edition on Sundays although I do avoid watching it then.  Oh! what am I saying?  I watch it then, sometimes, too!

Steve MacDonald

Quite a bit has changed over a decade and the Hong Kong viewing is about three years behind the real life happening now UK viewings.  But it doesn't matter a jot to me because I haven't seen anything.  Obviously I know there was a tram crash to mark the Ken Barlow 50th year in the longest running soap in the world, but I actually don't know who survived and who was snubbed out then.

So it doesn't matter.  I know I can google it all but what's the fun in that?  Plus it doesn't involve much concentration.  It is possible to peel potatoes, chop onions, answer the phone, shave legs or carry out other slightly more demanding intellectual activities such as writing blogs.

Liz MacDonald

So this is what is happening now, deep breath, brace yourself :-

Liz MacDonald is the landlady of the Rovers Return and is married to Vernon (not Jim so she is).  Steve lives in the Rovers with her and is with a smart woman who is the sister of Liam who is married to Maria who has just lost a baby and Liam's sister in law is Carla who is a widow so Liam's brother died (don't ask) and she lives with a Scottish bloke who works away and is rich so while he's away Carla flirts madly with Liam and it drives Maria bonkers.  Now Maria is staying with Audrey who has just been in contact with Gail's dad after 50 years and he didn't even know he had a daughter and was well upset and now Gail wants to get in touch but Audrey is not bothered although it upsets Bill who she lives with.  David is in jail for pushing his mother, Gail, down the stairs and she has forgiven him but why lord only knows and Sarah and Bethany are in Italy with the Canadian bloke who purports to be Gail's brother although how Audrey ever explained that one I don't know.  Roy is running Roy's Rolls and phones Hayley in Africa but I haven't worked out why she is there.

Roy Cropper

Our ever favourite Jack Duckworth is a widower, Vera has died. It was SO sad.  Now his stupid grandson Paul has set fire to Leanne Battersby's Italian restaurant on purpose for the insurance but then because Leanne would'nt be his girlfriend he has confessed to arson - stupid.  Although it seems like Leanne got away with it.  Jack is well pissed off with Paul who he says is his father's son (we all hated Terry).

Leanne Battersby

So that is a potted history of the story so far and you know it is of little consequence if you don't follow it or if you missed 10 years worth of programmes because you can soon pick it up and if you need a little background I can always fill you in and pre 2000 I consider myself a Platinum level expert in Corrie.

 

Memories of King Kowloon - Exhibition TaiKoo Place

 


  Exhibition - 20th April - 31st May 2011  10am - 8pm

  Venue - ArtisTree  1/F Cornwall House, TaiKoo Place    FREE ADMISSION

  Nearest MTR  Quarry Bay

This History behind the man

This exhibition is a well thought out informative history of one of Hong Kong's most loved graffiti artists. Long before Banksy had even cut his first stencil Tsang Tsou-choi was using traditional Chinese calligraphy, with ink and a paint brush, to write his message on public spaces for the world to read.   Of course being unable to read Chinese the message, up until now, has been lost on me. 

Royal Blood

Now that the exhibition has enlightened me I know that he thought himself the rightful royal ruler of the Kowloon peninsula and his messages demanded he should be given total rule of all of Kowloon.  He objected to Elizabeth 1 being the colonial ruler so his first messages were addressed to her.  After the handover things didn't go quite as he expected and so he had to continue painting his messages for all to see.  After 1997 they were aimed at the Chinese government and he continued to claim that he was in fact the King of Kowloon.  He was still waiting for tax to be paid to him from Donald Tsang upon his death.  Tsang never replied to his tax demand which was painted on a wall in Kowloon!

It is estimated that over 51 years of scribbling in 80 locations over Hong Kong he generated 55,845 pieces of work and used 1,170 litres of ink. 

The Exhibition

The rooms are darkened with well lit exhibits not only of his work, of which there is miles, but of various artifacts from his life that have been preserved for posterity.  Some quite mundane memorabilia such as old felt tip pens and empty ink bottles claimed to belong to the King.  G.O.D. now uses some of his ideas and sells them as trendy items in their shops.  They have an alarm clock and a t-shirt adorned with the Kings calligraphy, now hot fashion items.  Buy now while stocks last!

Space Invader

During his lifetime his fame spread around the world and he was visited by Space Invader - graffiti artist , a famous American graffiti artist who placed one of his tile designs on the wall of the old folks home where he lived.  This has now been removed and is carefully displayed.  I am reliably informed this is worth thousands these days.

Local Talent

Students from local schools have used King Kowloon as inspiration for their own work and this is also on display and well worth a look.  Who says Hong Kong students cannot be creative? 

 

 

Another Year directed by Mike Leigh

THE MIKE LEIGH TECHNIQUE

I love the fact that Mike Leigh doesn't let the actors of his films have a script and the fact that he makes them develop the character themselves.  He sits them down and asks them a zillion questions about the character they will be, from what sort of breakfast did you eat as a child and how did you go to school to how you feel about your boss and how did you sleep last night.  Until the actor becomes the font of all knowledge for their character and will 'live' their character throughout their stint playing them.  Abigail's Party and Nuts in May are my favourites probably because Alison Steadman is in both of them.

BRITISH FILM IN HONG KONG

I look out for new work from Leigh and have been looking forward to seeing Another Year.  Eventually it came to Hong Kong after being released in the UK last year.  I am always keen to watch British films and adore the ordinariness of their portrayal of real life in all its mundane ways much more than the Hollywood razzmatazz. 

ANOTHER YEAR - REVIEW

World Exclusive Trailer - The Guardian

Another Year shows us the lives of Gerri and Tom, a middle-aged couple nearing retirement, and their year as the seasons change on their allotment.  Tom is a geologist and Gerri is a counsellor.  They are middle class and very comfortable in their cozy modern house and I want to tell you they have an Aga but I am not 100% sure, for arguments sake let's believe they do.  But the story is not really about them, its about their long  term friends Mary, a desperately sad and lonely woman who Gerri works with and Ken, Tom's old friend who is overweight and unhealthy with a potential drink problem.  The other character who is also taken into the kitchen (with Aga)  is Tom's brother who comes to stay after the death of his wife.

MARY

These three people are featured around the table of Gerri and Tom at various times during the year and their unhappiness is palpable. They are all in need of love and care at a time in their lives when none of them have a partner for various reasons.  Mary, in particular, is appealing to the couple for support and a slice of security in her shambolic life.  There is no doubt that Lesley Manville was utterly brilliant working in the Mike Leigh style and the audience can feel nothing but sympathy for her.

SUCH A REVOLTING COUPLE

I found the main characters of Tom and Gerri to be the most revolting  people.  They didn't entertain their friends, they merely  tolerated them.  They did not help them in any way apart  from feeding them and offering copious glasses of wine which was probably the last thing they needed.  Looking down their noses at their sad and lonely friends and just allowing them to get deeper into a  mire of self pity and mental health problems.   Gerri is the worst counsellor in the world and Tom has probably given up caring about his profession a long time ago given that retirement and more time on his allotment is looming. His sensitivity is actually cold and fake.

ORDINARILY BRITISH

It is a beautifully shot film and is British in its ordinariness, in a good way.  But I was so depressed at their lack of real care for their friends and I became more and more irritated by their superior stance of 'we are happy and you are not' attitude I wanted to take Mary and Ken and genuinely help them.  Really listen to their problems and really be supportive instead of a half arsed invitation for dinner during which nothing is really said and nothing is really changed.

 

 

The Hong Kong Literary Festival 2011 Benjamin Zephaniah

 

Benjamin Zephaniah

AN AUDIENCE WITH BEN PLUS HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN

In previous years I have seen authors talk about how they write and what they do to produce a book worthy of publication.  I am always interested in such a process having got to chapter seven of my own masterpiece but, so far, cannot find the wherewithal to continue to the end.  Authors sit in rooms with computers and write.  They usually work alone and so for the majority being in front of a large audience is not a natural environment.  Some can talk and be interesting, some can tell a story as well as write it, the opposite is sometimes, unfortunately true.  Some are not interesting and can't tell a story apart from when they are in their own room silently producing the written word.

A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

Benjamin Zephaniah is not soley a writer.  He is a performer.  Having an audience with him (and a few hundred school children) at this years literary festival was a wonderful experience.  His poetry is funny and accessable with a serious message.

I used to think nurses were women

I used to think police were all men

I used to think poets were boring

until I became one of them

 

You see what I mean?  Four lines, quite simple and straight forward but worthy of an analytical essay about the deeper meaning relating to feminism, class and stereotypical judgements in a post colonial voice.

A FUNNY MAN WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE

Zephaniah is funny.  He doesn't take himself seriously but he does take the world seriously.  His work carries a message about equality and justice for all, including turkeys.  He talks of racism and sexism and even vegatarinism.  The children were more than satisfied by his answers to their questions about what kind of car he drives to his twin sister's name and he deflected any questions about his dreadlocks, obviously he gets that a lot!

At 53 he is looking good.  I wonder if its being a rasta, being a vegan or being a kung fu expert?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH  OBE?

He was awarded an OBE but declined to accept it.  Here is the poem about that time.

 

Smart big awards and prize money
Is killing off black poetry
It's not censors or dictators that are cutting up our art.
The lure of meeting royalty
And touching high society
Is damping creativity and eating at our heart.

The ancestors would turn in graves
Those poor black folk that once were slaves would wonder
How our souls were sold
And check our strategies,
The empire strikes back and waves
Tamed warriors bow on parades
When they have done what they've been told
They get their OBE's.

Don't take my word, go check the verse
Cause every laureate gets worse
A family that you cannot fault as muse will mess your mind,
And yeah, you may fatten your purse
And surely they will check you first when subjects need to be amused
With paid for prose and rhymes.

Take your prize, now write more,
Faster,
Fuck the truth
Now you're an actor do not fault your benefactor
Write, publish and review,
You look like a dreadlocks Rasta,
You look like a ghetto blaster,
But you can't diss your paymaster
And bite the hand that feeds you.

What happened to the verse of fire
Cursing cool the empire
What happened to the soul rebel that Marley had in mind,
This bloodstained, stolen empire rewards you and you conspire,
(Yes Marley said that time will tell)
Now look they've gone and joined.

We keep getting this beating
It's bad history repeating
It reminds me of those capitalists that say
'Look you have a choice,'
It's sick and self-defeating if our dispossessed keep weeping
And we give these awards meaning
But we end up with no voice.

 

 

 

Putting it Together The Fringe Club, Hong Kong

Golden Voice Entertainment...

The cast of Putting it Together

GOLDEN VOICE

Sounds smooth doesn't it?  It just rolls off the tongue.  Say it with me "Golden Voice Entertainment" . Try again and this time think Barbara Streisand. All together - One, two, three "Golden Voice Entertainment"  Lovely isn't it?

DIRECTOR - FRINGE CLUB, HONG KONG

Michael Sharmon is the artistic director of Golden Voice Entertainment and it is actually true.  He does have a golden voice and so do the cast of Putting it Together, a Stephen Sondheim review performed at The Fringe Club in February. Once home and tucked up in bed I did a bit of googling (sounds a bit personal doesn't it?) to find that the story was creatively linked together based on previously existing songs from a number of different Sondheim musicals.  Stone me!  They all fitted together seamlessly to form a new story in its own right.  How clever. 

MUSIC

The Fringe Club is a very suitable venue for intimate shows like this with just 4 main characters up close and personal allowing us to see and feel their emotions but not allowing us to think about the uncomfortable seats.  The music was provided by two extremely experienced and talented musicians, Peter Lally on piano and Peter Scherr on double bass - terrific!  They were positioned at the back of the stage so were on view throughout.

JACQUELINE GOURLAY GRANT

The star was undoubtedly Jacqueline Gourlay Grant who played "The Wife" as well as being Musical Director.  What a woman!  I am sure that she has had a hand in many shows in Hong Kong and is a magical force on stage.  And by the way Jacqueline, great jacket.

WHAT'S NEXT?

Looking forward to the next one and thanks again to Michael Sharmon and the whole cast who take time to provide the community with such a tremendously high standard of local entertainment.  Beats that huge atmosphereless hall at the airport.

 

 

 

Educating Rita (Lesley)

Julie Walters and Michael Caine 

Educating Rita

McAulay Studio,

Wan Chai

Hong Kong

26th February, 2011

Rita - Kim Haslam

Frank - Adam Harris

THE HONG KONG CAST

Educating Rita was performed at the McAulay Studio in Wan Chai with Adam Harris as Frank, the consistently inebriated professor who is charged with Rita, a working class girl with big ideas.  Rita, played by Kim Haslam, is a hairdresser who has signed up with The Open University to get herself an education.  Frank sets about teaching literary criticism to someone with no previous knowledge and we witness the change in Rita as education starts to work.

CONVINCING DRUNKENESS

The performance of both actors, the only people on the stage during the two acts, was truly excellent from the very convincing drunkenness to the Liverpudlian accent to the dusty books on the shelves and the illusion of the window to outside.

HAIR CUT SIR?

Adam's usual hairstyle fitted the part of geriatric hippie exactly and not wanting to be rude I won't mention the beard. But I'll take a risk just in case it was grown for this part, I'm sure he won't mind if I suggest that clean shaven, shorter hair would indeed take ten years off him!

AM I RITA?

I can really relate to Rita.  I think I am her.  You see I am an Open University product but was much older than 26 before it dawned on me that getting a degree would open some doors.  No one ever burnt my books or told me to stop though, everyone was extremely supportive and I couldn't have done it without the help of my family.

OPEN UNIVERSITY

But I wonder if an education is really the way forward these days, perhaps it's not? A degree is common place and in the UK equals a debt with no guarantee of a job.  My own children are heading that way and as much as I want them to have the experience of being there and experiencing 'life' as opposed to an Open University course where you study at home being extremely self disciplined and swotty (well I was!) the chance of a job at the end seems remote in the present economic climate.

MASTERS DEGREE - IS IT WISE?

So with this in mind I have quite rashly signed up to do a Masters Degree with, you've guessed it, The Open University.  I am into my third assignment and so far have found it excruciatingly boring mind numbingly dull and sleep inducing.  My scores are only just acceptable and there are periods of time when I am forced to say no to invitations out because I have to do my reading or essay writing.

Why? Why? Why?

IF SHE CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T I?

Right now I am doubting my ability to get through this Open University course.  Last night while watching Educating Rita I found myself wondering why it is so difficult for me, after all I have no alcoholic tutor or any pressure to have a baby, no one has ever burnt my assignments and I don't have a suicidal flatmate.  Get a grip Lesley!

 

The Final 9 - American Idol Season 9 - Didi goes home

It should have been Tim Urban.

I sound like a jilted lover by proxy!  But you see Didi is on my 'LIST'.  MY LIST of potential finalists was carefully selected during the audition rounds and includes Andrew Garcia, Crystal Bowersox, Michael Lynche and it used to include Didi Benami but after America voted Didi went home last night.

Everyone can see, hear and even smell that Tim Urban is struggling to perform anything.  He has a weak voice.  Perhaps it's the hair that keeps the votes coming in?  He does nothing for me, I am not a fan of hair!   After Didi's demise the voice of God AKA Simon did not decide to give her a second chance so off she goes.   It must be next week that we wave goodbye to Tim's floppy fringe?

So now my list is:-

Andrew Garcia

Crystal Bowersox

Michael Lynche

Obviously I wish I had Siobhan Magnus on there as she is fab and groovy, if not a bit screamy, but we all love a good scream on a Wednesday night don't we?

 

 

 

The Ghost of Neil Diamond by David Milnes

The Ghost of Neil Diamond by David Milnes is a cracking read.  Milnes, who lived and worked in Hong Kong for many years as Head of English at King George V, is now retired and living in Spain, where I imagine him sitting in his casa sipping red wine while constructing another plot line.  I was forwarded a link to Amazon that took me to an extract from chapter one.  This short snippet was enough to make me buy the book and I highly recommend it. 

 

You don't need to know Hong Kong and you don't need to be a Neil Diamond fan to identify with the protagonist and smell Chun Kin Mansions.

It all begins in a karaoke bar where Neil Atherton impresses the crowd with his  'Reason to Believe'.  He is spotted by a not-so-honest agent who gives him his card, obviously, this is Hong Kong.   As he a male who finds themselves in Hong Kong with not contract and a richer and more successful wife,  his time is spent thinking about unfulfilled dreams and ambitions.  Our main character decides to try his hand at impersonating Neil Diamond thus, he imagines, he will find fame and fortune, perhaps happiness.  His wife is appalled by this mid-life crisis and gives him money to leave Hong Kong and her.

He takes her money but doesn't leave.  As he stops caring what she thinks of him and soon finds out she has quickly found a replacement, he takes risk and after risk to get into the club scene as the best Neil Diamond impersonator this side of...well... Neil Diamond I suppose.  He becomes very familiar with ChunKing Mansions and McDonald's as well as the slippery Chinese agent. 

It made me laugh.

I found myself mulling over the characters in this book even when I wasn't reading it.  I don't know if Mr Milnes intended it to be a film but as I read it I could visualize it and, appointing myself as casting director, and spiritually auditioned mid-forty year old males to play Neil.

Give it a go why don't you?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0955650011/ref=sib_rdr_dp

Michael Jackson RIP 1958-2009

 

I was utterly shocked at the news of Michael Jackson's death.  It is so incredibly sad that a man with so much talent is no longer among us.  Now we have speculation about when and where the funeral will be, who will his estate be left to, does he actually have anything to leave or is he in debt.  There are so many questions about his personal doctor and then there's the children and ex-wife...will we ever get to know the true story...

My cynical side has real doubts about whether anyone really cared about Michael Jackson.  Did anyone care enough about him while he was alive to guide him on a less self destructive route?  Was there a single person in his employ or in his family who was close enough to him to take him to one side and say 'Enough already Michael'?  Was the vast fortune just too much for one person to handle and remain sane?  I don't think so.  The music industry took it's pound of flesh and much much more from Michael Jackson and then sat back to watch him implode.  Yes, he made millions and was rewarded for his work but is a life worth that?

I am really concerned that the entertainment industry in general just do not do enough for their artists.  There are too many incidences of death through drug overdoses where actors or singers have been seen to be successful, become famous and then felt the pressure of living a life in the public eye.  They crack.  They turn to drugs to help them cope. It seems accepted in those circles.  It seems normal.  If they are lucky they survive their addiction but are no doubt damaged by the experience.  If we are not reading about an inevitable divorce we are told of a new patient in The Priory.

I think it should be compulsory for all record labels to provide a psychologist for 24 hour consultation to all up-and-coming recording artists to help them cope with a) earning vast amounts of cash b) knowing what to do with it and c) convincing them that mind altering substances are NO  GOOD!

I could add a further suggestion which would involve not actually giving the artist so much cash in the first place and, therefore, reducing the cost of Cd's, concert tickets and eliminating all tacky merchandising from the planet.  I ask the question - Is pop music really worth millions and should individuals such as Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Robbie Williams or Amy Winehouse be let loose with wads of cash to squander on drugs and fast living when that money could be given to me - whoops - I mean, given to reducing third world debt and promoting world peace.

I can feel a Monty Python sketch coming on.  Money doesn't buy you happiness.

The Chippy, Pottinger Street, Hong Kong

The Chippy, a truly British experience.

www.chippy.com

Cultural Holiday

The summer holidays are approaching and soon I will be visiting Blighty for a reminder of the culture I am deprived of.  I haven't been home for a couple of years now so the lure of midget gems, fresh Cadbury's chocolate and cream cakes with real cream in them is becoming intense.  The food hall at Marks and Spencer's and all those supermarkets with aisles big enough for 2 trolleys to pass each other with a vast amount of choice will be so lovely. 

Fish, Chips, Mushy Peas, Bread and Butter, Mug of Tea

Yesterday as a pre holiday treat we went to eat at The Chippy.  It is exactly what you imagine.  It's a chip shop.  A very British chip shop right in Central Hong Kong.  They have recreated the grease and smell of a typical fish and chip shop with a menu that wouldn't be out of place in any town in the UK.  Cod, chips, mushy peas a mug (yes a mug) of tea (Tetleys) and a slice of white bread and butter.   Fish cakes, steak and kidney pie, chips and peas and then the deserts  deep fried Mars bar.  They also offer the full all day English breakfast with black pudding. 

Cholestral Levels

It is all bad but all good on the same place.  I just knew that grease was sticking to my arteries as I was savoring the scrumptious crispy batter on my lovely white flakes of deep fried cod and I knew the butter melting through the white slice as the heat of the chips warmed up the bread was raising my cholesterol levels but Lord I enjoyed it.  The big mug of tea washed all the fat away and left me feeling cleansed yet belt loosening full.

Posh Chips

The decor was, obviously, white tiles with a touch of seaside blue dado, a wall of blackboard for the menu, rickety wooden tables all stocked with the condiments you expect.  HP Brown Sauce, Heinz Tomato sauce, salt and yes you've guessed it - vinegar.  The glass counter had pickled onions and pickled eggs on offer in large glass jars.  The only pretentious features of The Chippy in Hong Kong, which you don't often get in England, is the reading material provided for customers - The Sunday Times Magazine.   The background music was BBC Radio 2 live, via the internet. All a bit posh frankly but it's what us expats expect these days!

Home Sweet Home

The whole experience made us feel comfortable and at home.  The only bad thing was knowing we were in Central and had to travel an hour back to the tranquility of Sai Kung in rush hour.  Once our clothes are washed and the smell of deep fried fat is removed we'll be fine.

 I'll be running tonight to work off those calories.

They're Happy Because

They Eat Chips