Lesley in Hong Kong

Enough Said Directed by Nicole Holofcener - is there hope?

Enough Said

Staring  James Gandolfini off of The Sopranos as Albert

and

Julia Louis-Dreyfus off of Seinfeld as Eva

Enough Said is essentially a love story to make the hoards of baby boomers, now finding themselves divorced, alone and single, but still with the responsibility of having dependent children, feel like there is  hope.  In their new dating world Albert and Eva go through the crushing discomfort of their first date that progresses to plain awkwardness and then, happily, to the thrill of new intimacy.   The dramatic irony we are then party to causes us to beg Eva to behave like the grown-up she actually is instead of the fool she appears to be and just be honest with Albert. 

I will not be a plot spoiler.  I do recommend you go and watch it.

What I particularly liked about this film is the way Gandolfini, a larger man, was cast in a romantic role as opposed to the typically handsome Brad Pitt, Hugh Grant or Colin Firth type.  Hollywood rarely makes the fat man the one who gets the girl.  

I know that there are a zillion perfect 10 actresses out there but we also have our fair share of curvaceous women who have rallied the cause for girls bigger than a size 10.  Miranda Hart, Oprah Whitney, Queen Latifah and Dawn French to name a few.  We see such women being happy and successful and loved.  They have the 'Love me for who I am" vibe going on loud and strong and we love them for it.

In Hollywood land we don't see very many men who are not conventionally handsome and I found it really refreshing to see a larger man in a role that involved romance, sex and genuine care for the women in his life.  In an experiment, in my own head, I changed the body types around to make the female role the 'larger' lady and the male role the trim, six pack firm bicep one and played out some scenes from that point of view.  I doubt if the crack about the calorie counter book or the digs about how much dip was consumed would have been received with anything but aggression and plate smashing.

As I said both characters have children who get on airplanes and fly to distant colleges, to be educated and make their own way in the world.  I REALLY cried at that part.   

 

 

Italian Vogue - Curvy Feature

 

In the June edition of Italian Vogue they have featured curvy women which means they have snubbed the thin models usually used to hang clothes on and chosen women with actual hips and breasts.   They are truly beautiful and sexy, the fact is they are human shaped, in fact, the shots are incredibly stunning and well worth a peek.

 

Belle Vere - Vogue.it

 

 

America's Next Top Model - the wrong message

Tyra Banks, with her gang of bullies and misogynists,  orchestrate misery and unhappiness for the benefit of their viewing figures week by week.  Through cleverly manipulating young women into believing that it is mandatory to carry out tasks that are painful or frightening means that they have what it takes to be a top model.  According to the America's Next Top Model mantra - suffering is what it takes.

Photoshoot Hissy Fit

By pressurizing the contestants into attending photo shoots where at least one girl from the group is extremely uncomfortable, afraid or just looks plain stupid means that at least two of them will have a hysterical moment and cry, thus making her mascara run down her doll-like make-up clad face.

Save it for later

The incident will later be referred to while the review of the days shooting takes place.  Whatever the circumstances it is ALWAYS the constestants fault.  She is always made to feel like she was 100% in the wrong and was completely out of order to complain about the situation on the day.  There is never any question that, in fact, the girl was being badly treated or being asked to do something against her better judgement or beliefs. 

It appears that to work in the model industry and be successful you have to do exactly what you told and never object or open her mouth to express her opinion in any way. 

The wrong message

This is my objection to the message of the programme.   It is the wrong message.  If the contestants, or in fact, any woman, is in a situation where it is her body that is her assest then surely it is her who should be solely in charge of what she feels comfortable doing with it.

If she is asked to dangle from a hideously high building or snuggle up next to a farm animal and she doesn't like that then she needs to speak up and say 'No'.  It is indicative of the modelling industry to portray sickly looking emaciated girls as being beautiful and so this look has become something hundreds of women have begun to believe is the desired and most attractive way to be.  Again a wrong message.

Say NO!

It is doubly wrong to portray the models being bossed around in circumstances where they have no control over what they can or cannot do during their or photo sessions with so called professional people. 

Is it pimping?

The girls should be empowered into believing that if they do not feel comfortable in a situation then they need not go through it, they can and should say no.  Without this power is is merely exploitation, nothing more than pimping.

Digital Methods

 

While the photo shoot is in full swing the photographer, who is operating  expenisve and highly technological equipment, can see the results on a monitor.  By the power of digital photography the image can be viewed instantly.  There is no dark room hit-or-miss developing to take place, no opening the back of the camera by mistake and letting light in or forgetting to put a film in the camera - those days are gone.  A simple memory stick and a computer ensures the result is on view.

Too what?

Then how on earth can Tyra and her mean gang have each girl stand, exposed and vulnerable, in front of the panel to be shown their 'best' photo and it be the responsibility of the model whether it is an acceptable photograph for the purposes of fashion magazines - or the other one - whether it is horrible.   So often the girls are personally critisized for a bad photograph "Your neck looks too short"  "Your leg looks odd"  "Your arm is droopy" .  Well why did'nt the photographer with the plethora of fancy equipment tell her that at the time.  He is the one who is looking down the lens and he is the one who is looking at the monitor at the instant result.  Could he not ask her to move her neck, leg or arm at the time instead of saving up the faulty work to use it for humiliation and belittlement later on?

So America's Next Top Exploited Young Girl get a grip of yourself and don't let Tyra and her gang push you around - speak up for yourself and say no especially if they suggest dying your hair white blonde when you are naturally a brunette or having your head shaved when you've spent years growing your hair.

The Rule of Pants

Pants - you have to have standards

I ventured into the realms of fashion a couple of days ago and made it known to the world that there are very strict rules regarding the wearing of socks.  If there are still folk out there who are unsure or unaware of the rules please refer to the previous blog called Socks- it's a mine field.  It has been suggested that I add a section about hikers and the red sock and chunky hiking boot plus there has been dispute over dark socks and trainers - honestly its a cheek!

I am now turning my attention to the subject of pants.  I mean pants, the sort you wear under your clothes (not trousers).  Briefs, knickers, panties, underwear, skivvies, smalls (feel free to add more names). 

I think this subject needs to be dealt with according to gender so I will tackle the men first.

There seems to be two main camps when the subject of male underwear is chosen and worn.  One lot prefer the boxer and the other the tighter cotton brief.  I am not a man.  It is a matter of personal choice, I cannot stress this enough.  But it has always been a bit of a mystery to me why men want to wear cotton boxers that have no support or stretch in them.  Surely a little support in that area would be beneficial?  I am just thinking how bras offer such support for females so it follows that the same would be true of the testicle area?  A further advantage of the brief would be less bulk under trousers or shorts, surely?  All explanations would be welcome here.

 

I also need to direct you to my previous blog on speedos and my confession at ths point.

Boxer Shorts

No Commandos Please

The strictest rule for males to adhere to is the wearing of underwear or at least if you have no underwear and are going to wear shorts then it is essential that the shorts have their own sewn in liner offering a snug hammock for the male parts and ensuring there is no embarrassment.  For instance when sitting down with legs apart or casually placing ones foot on a chair giving others an unrestricted view up the leg of the shorts. 

Female Pants

There are hundreds of different styles for women and it should logically follow that there should be enough styles for all the different shaped bottoms in the world.  But you'd be wrong.  Women's pants manufacturers are blind to the fact that pants have to cover cheeks so not make the dreaded VPL (visible pantie line) plus the invention of the thong has merely created a nasty infection spreading razor which is a useless piece of clothing.

Trinny and Susannah do talk some sense when it comes to foundation garments and have exposed a number of out of control wobbling bottoms in their attempt to up the standard of acceptable dress in the UK.  Magic Knickers

Girls, don't continue with ill fitting knickers that dig into your flesh and cause bulges ga lour.  There are some excellent body shaping items in Marks & Spencer these days.

And Spanx have a whole range of items to smooth any lump or bump.  See the Spanx Before and After photographs for yourself.  

 
There is even a male version of Spanx and I don't think men should shy away from this garment.  It could be a revolution for bellies world wide.  Spanx for Men offer compression under garments to help suck in bellies, its the Playtex 18 hour girdle for men.  It had to come one day.

 

Gentle reader, I conducted my own photographic survey this morning of pants in the local vicinity and I was shocked and horrified at some of the sights I found hanging around the place for all to see.  My mother was too shy to hang her pants on the washing line and kept them drying inside for modesty sake!  But some of the examples of shabby, worn out rags that pass  as underwear need to be seriously assessed and made into dusters at once.  (that's what my mother also used to do).  Check your knicker drawer now and if there are any that look like this, put them in the bin.

 

The washed out dark blue
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

                                                      Little and Large

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skiddies!

 

 

 

                                            Duster pretending to be underwear.

Ritz Carlton - World's Highest Hotel, Hong Kong

Ritz Carlton Hong Kong

The Ritz Carlton Hotel is situated on 1 Austin Road, Kowloon.  It is the highest hotel in the world.

More tea? 

It is 1,600 ft high although I have a strong suspicion that it won't hold the record for long because someone somewhere will get all competitive and want to go to even giddier heights.  The second, third and fourth highest hotels are in, surprise surprise, Dubai.

Flower arrangement Ritz Carlton The Lounge 
 
Even though this building is even higher than the famous IFC (1364ft) I hadn't even noticed it!  I put this down to being busy and having to go to work.  I thought it was just me who didn't know about its opening at the end of March but no, I got in a taxi in Jordon and asked for "Ritz Carlton, 1 Austin Road m goi"  I got the standard response 'Ha!'  At first he attempted to drop me off at BP International House also on Austin Road but come on, it didn't even sound a bit like Ritz Carlton and is not very high at all!  After one of those fraught journeys where the taxi driver talks on the phone in a confused way and gives you no confidence in actually getting to your destination he eventually made it and we ended as friends.

Before

 After ...
 
HOW TO GET THERE

For future reference ask for Elements Shopping Mall and the Ritz Carlton is actually situated at the top of a building called International Commerce Centre ICC which is the last building on the road - THE TALLEST ONE!  The hotel is actually perched on the top of the ICC on floors 102 to 118 and afternoon tea involves a lift ride with only stop from zero to floor 103 (it took ages and my ears popped) then a short escalator down one floor to The Lounge.

It is beautifully decorated with amazing views - obviously.  The tea involves everything you'd expect - three tiered plate full of goodies and copious amounts of tea from a wide choice.

For an extra thrill you can go even higher to the bar on floor 118 Ozone which even has a partly open area and yesterday there was quite a chilly breeze blowing around there.  I thought I was being quite brave getting close to the edge and looking down.  Gulp!

 
Afternoon Tea at the Ritz Carlton, Hong Kong 

The closest building on the right is the IFC, Hong Kong Side, across the harbour is the ICC - can you see me waving?

 

Fairyland - Foot Massage and Hard Skin Removal - Shanghai

 

Feet

SOOTHING MASSAGE

After a tremendous amount of walking around Shanghai one Saturday on a weekend mini break our feet were throbbing and in need of some attention.  We didn't plan to visit Fairyland Health and Beauty on Nanjing Pedestrian Street, it seemed to find us.  I think it had a magnetic charm that lulled us up the stairs into completely unknown territory.  There was a short period of uncertainty until I was sure it was a respectable establishment because its just awful when it's not, don't you just hate it when that happens?

RELAXING MUSIC

In the blink of an eye we were made comfortable in a darkened room with relaxing music and our feet were soaked in fragrant water while the masseurs paid our shoulders much need attention.  A special bonus of a shoulder rub just to make up the time while the feet are cleansed and softened up ready for the foot massage.

HARD SKIN REMOVAL

The massage was excellent and I would have no reservations in recommending Fairyland if you are ever in need of stress relief and are in Shanghai at the same time.  But actually the best bit was the hard skin removal service.  For an extra 48 RMB a specially skilled man was summoned into the room yielding a blade.  Or was it a scalpel or was it an incredibly sharp chisel?  As I say it was a darkened room so it was hard to tell.  But the hard skin removal master was well equipped to work on feet in a darkened room.  He was wearing a head torch.  I guess he had a been boy scout when he was younger so was always prepared.  He set to work with the chisel and with the lightest touch he managed to  shave off what looked like snow flakes from my feet.  The towel was soon covered and I caught the masseurs looking sideways at each other at the surprising amount of dead skin building up as he dutifully shaved my feet.

The service was excellent, shoulder, feet and shaving of said feet. We floated out.  Wow!

Hard skin removal man wearing head torch

The man in the head torch made Fairyland an extra special experience and I want him to come and live in our house.

Enell Sports Bra - Opera's favourite

I have a never ending quest to find a good sports bra.  A bra that I can wear for exercise.  A bra that will do what it says on the box.  To be explicit it is a bra that will support my breasts during a moderate to hard run, in a public place, and ensure that 'the girls' are kept under control throughout a bout of jumping jacks, spotty dogs and even skipping. 

I have tried lots, some good, some not so much.  Even if they are good to start with, after a few months of sweatie workouts, washing and drying they loose their support and turn into an overstretched grey rag.

I have not found any suitable sports bras that fulfill my needs in any shop in Hong Kong.  I have given up and taken to buying online.

My latest online purchase arrived from Ladiesonlysports.com and I tested it out today.  Ladies, ladies, ladies!  Success.  It was advertised as Opera Winfrey's favourite sports bra and if its good enough for Opera it's good enough for me.

To quote the advertising blurb - Enell Sports Bra is designed for well-endowed women.  It minimizes breast movement, eliminates chaffing and provides back support.  Trust me it really is fab.

 

The Chippy, Pottinger Street, Hong Kong

The Chippy, a truly British experience.

www.chippy.com

Cultural Holiday

The summer holidays are approaching and soon I will be visiting Blighty for a reminder of the culture I am deprived of.  I haven't been home for a couple of years now so the lure of midget gems, fresh Cadbury's chocolate and cream cakes with real cream in them is becoming intense.  The food hall at Marks and Spencer's and all those supermarkets with aisles big enough for 2 trolleys to pass each other with a vast amount of choice will be so lovely. 

Fish, Chips, Mushy Peas, Bread and Butter, Mug of Tea

Yesterday as a pre holiday treat we went to eat at The Chippy.  It is exactly what you imagine.  It's a chip shop.  A very British chip shop right in Central Hong Kong.  They have recreated the grease and smell of a typical fish and chip shop with a menu that wouldn't be out of place in any town in the UK.  Cod, chips, mushy peas a mug (yes a mug) of tea (Tetleys) and a slice of white bread and butter.   Fish cakes, steak and kidney pie, chips and peas and then the deserts  deep fried Mars bar.  They also offer the full all day English breakfast with black pudding. 

Cholestral Levels

It is all bad but all good on the same place.  I just knew that grease was sticking to my arteries as I was savoring the scrumptious crispy batter on my lovely white flakes of deep fried cod and I knew the butter melting through the white slice as the heat of the chips warmed up the bread was raising my cholesterol levels but Lord I enjoyed it.  The big mug of tea washed all the fat away and left me feeling cleansed yet belt loosening full.

Posh Chips

The decor was, obviously, white tiles with a touch of seaside blue dado, a wall of blackboard for the menu, rickety wooden tables all stocked with the condiments you expect.  HP Brown Sauce, Heinz Tomato sauce, salt and yes you've guessed it - vinegar.  The glass counter had pickled onions and pickled eggs on offer in large glass jars.  The only pretentious features of The Chippy in Hong Kong, which you don't often get in England, is the reading material provided for customers - The Sunday Times Magazine.   The background music was BBC Radio 2 live, via the internet. All a bit posh frankly but it's what us expats expect these days!

Home Sweet Home

The whole experience made us feel comfortable and at home.  The only bad thing was knowing we were in Central and had to travel an hour back to the tranquility of Sai Kung in rush hour.  Once our clothes are washed and the smell of deep fried fat is removed we'll be fine.

 I'll be running tonight to work off those calories.

They're Happy Because

They Eat Chips

Nipple Covers

BEST KNICKERS

Marks and Spencer's is a very reliable and homey shop.  You just know where you are with M&S.  Their products are renowned for lasting many washes, especially their under garments.  You can't beat a pair of M&S knickers.

A NEW PRODUCT?

When I was browsing the under garment section I discovered a new product.  Something I had never seen before.  In a small plastic pouch was 'nipple covers'. I was intrigued by  this item.  It was not possible to open the package in the shop so truly believing all M&S goods to be of a high standard I made a purchase.

THE COLD AND NIPPLES

For those of you mystified as to why a girl should require nipple covers I will attempt to throw light on the matter.  You see, when its a bit cold, and your top is a bit on the flimsy side, nipples tend to pop out for the world to see.  Living in air conditioned Hong Kong this happens a lot.  You step inside after being out in a hot and humid 30+ degrees and out they pop.

I thought that using this new fangled item would be the answer to this little problem.

TEST RUN

The next morning I decided to try them.  I opened the packet to find they were made from a thin 'band aid' type material in the shape of large daisies.  The center of the daisy was a slightly padded circle.  It was early, it was dark in my bedroom, I wasn't properly awake to read the 'How to Apply' section on the back of the packet and besides I couldn't find my glasses.

It seemed straight forward.  I peeled off the backing paper and stuck them over my nipples. Easy.

I got dressed, went to work.  Never gave them a second thought.  I wasn't aware of people pointing at me on the air conditioned bus saying "Waa look at her nipples sticking out" so I presumed they were working.

THE REMOVAL -PANIC

When I got home after a hards days toil the first thing I did was strip off and get in the shower.  Upon the removal of my clothes I remembered the hastily applied nippled covers as I glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror.  "Best take them off now" I thought to myself.

Easier said than done.  The very thin sticky cover was almost impossible to get hold of.  I have nails but I couldn't just get one under the edge of the nipple covers to remove them.  I showered.  Tried again.  No better.  I showered again and used lots more shower gel to soften the fabric (steady on now!).  Still couldn't get hold of the edge to pull them off.  They were well and truly attached to my breasts and did not want to come off.

I found my glasses and the discarded packet and read the instructions.  This was not enlightening at all.  It just said stick them over nipples, peel them off when you are finished.  No clues, no hints.

STILL NOT REMOVED - GULP

About half an hour had gone by since I got home and I was still naked in the bathroom attempting to remove the offending articles.  Eventually I managed to get my thumb nail under the edge of the left one and began to peel it off.  Oh my God!  The pain was excruciating.  There was no way I could just rip it off quickly.  I had to slowly, slowly, millimeter by millimeter pull it off and try not to pass out with pain.

OH THE PAIN

I have had two children, I have ran a marathon.  I know pain.  But this?  It was really making me feel nauseous.  I came out in a hot and cold sweat and began to shiver.  Perhaps I was in shock?  I am guessing that the process took about 10 minutes and it was such a relief to remove the torturous devil item from my delicate anatomy.  But wait, horror of horrors - there was still the other one to remove.

I was almost crying at the thought.  I had a lie down to physiologically build myself up to the removal of the second nipple cover. 

It was the same horrible experience.  Sweating, shaking and on the brink of tears.

DON'T DO IT!

Gentle readers - do not ever buy these items.  They should have a health warning written on the packaging.  I definitely do not recommend them.  Don't be fooled by the steady and reliable Marks and Spencer's brand.  Give them a wide berth.

Fat Pig (part 2)

Before picture

I have to add a part two to my previous blog entitled 'Fat Pig' where I lamented about the difficulty and frustration of buying clothes to fit me in Hong Kong shops and the inappropriate advertisements depicting pigs and encouraging women to get thin(er).  Somehow, by osmosis I think, the message has sunk to the inner depths of my brain and I began to think that I was fat.  Oh no, it can't be true! I hear you cry. To begin with I foolishly lived a lie, convincing myself that it was all the fault of Hong Kong.  Living in a place where all clothing is just too small was everyone else's fault - definitely not mine.

But you see it wasn't really anything to do with subliminal adverts or undersized garments, it was because I had piled on the pounds and eventually my waistbands were stretched to the absolute limit not to mention bra straps and blouse buttons.   Eventually I had to stop blaming Hong Kong and come clean in my own consciousness - actually I am fat!  Oh the shame!

I have to blame it on - well myself ultimately - but I can also shift some blame on the school I worked for last year that made me work for too long every day and, therefore, cut down my exercise time and, therefore, made me depressed, and therefore, made me eat chocolate and, therefore, made me put on weight.  Come on, give me that small comfort?

The time had come to do something about it.  So I bit the bullet, which made a change from Dairy Milk, and I joined Fat Losers, whoops, that is just my pet name for it.  I joined Weight Watchers in Sai Kung and embarked upon the humiliating experience of sitting in a room with other women where at least one of them knows exactly how much I weigh and all of them are fully accepting of my fatness.

I expected to have to stand up and say "Hello my name is Lesley Croft and I am overweight" in an Alcoholics Anonymous kind of way, but in fact it wasn't like that at all.  It has been a supportive and friendly experience shared with other people in the same boat as myself.  We can share in each others successes and admit our lapses without being judged too harshly while being encouraged to stick to the very sensible and healthy fad free diet.

After 12 weeks I am 9.5 pounds lighter so I can confirm to the world that Weight Watchers does work.  And the reason it works for me and has motivated me is that I know every Wednesday at 6pm I have to share my previously secret body weight with someone else who records it on my card and writes down just how much has gone (or not) each week.

The first picture is me on holiday last summer,  I will post the 'after' picture once I get to my goal weight - watch this space.

Fat Pig

The movement to prick the consciousness of the fashion industry by making them feel just a touch guilty about using 0 size models seems to be getting through; in Spain at least, they have banned the use of such skinny girls.  I for one regard this move as a step forward for all women.  Just a quick flick through any fashion magazine leaves me feeling depressed and, yes, fat.  Statistically I am an average woman according to UK standards.  On my infrequent trips to England I find buying clothes fairly easy and can fill my case with no problem. Although I will have to curb my spending if we fly with BA next time as I may end up paying as much for excess baggage as I do for the blummin flight. 

But shopping in  Hong Kong is as depressing as a flick through a magazine.  Asian women are small.  Hardly any shops cater for sizes bigger than a 12.  Just to rub salt in the wound they use XS, S, M, L, XL and XXL.  If I do miraculously find an item to fit me outside my comfort zone of Marks and Spencer’s it will have an XL or XXL label in it.  Now that hurts!

On my journey to work I have to suffer televised adverts on the bus.  They are broadcast continuously to all the innocent passengers who just want to get from A to B, we are a captured audience and even though they are in Chinese I can’t help be drawn to the screen.  This week there is a new advert for a slimming club. 

The first clip shows a girl who is slimmer than me.  She has a bit of role around the middle but in no way could be described as fat.  She enters a lift, the lift has a lot of people in already but as she hauls her ‘overweight’ body into it the OVERLOAD  OVERLOAD sign flashes on and a cartoon picture of a pig, I kid you not, is superimposed over the ‘fat’ girls face. 

The camera zooms in on her and she steps out of lift, looking ashamed, to make room for a thin girl who has used the slimming club and is, therefore, beautiful, successful and can get the lift doors to close.  This is a real advert.  It’s in Chinese so I can’t read the brand but the message is clear in any language.  It is truly offensive.