Birthdays

It’s my birthday today.

Thanks for all the cards and presents that came flooding through my door this morning.  It is truly overwhelming to know there is so much love out there for me; all those presents mean SO much.  Thank you once again.

Of course that entire previous paragraph is a total fabrication of the true facts because I didn’t receive any cards or presents, other than from my immediate family.  You see when you get older you just don’t want to celebrate THAT day.  Perhaps it’s something about being an Aquarian.  I don’t broadcast my birthday.  I just want to hide under a stone and definitely don’t enjoy the attention of a party.

You see if you have a party and its crap then it’s your fault.  It was your birthday, the party was crap and it’s all down to you.  It’s a responsibility I can do without.

Apart from one time on a trip to Newcastle Beer Keller on my 18^th birthday when I was offered a job as a go-go dancer after my on stage performance during the Fancy Knicker Competition, which, incidentally, I won.  I turned down the job due to my heavy and important commitment to the local secretarial college. I felt that taking a job as a go-go dancer would jeopardize my course and future career… Doh, if only I had grasped that opportunity when it came my way? 

Just in case anyone is still wondering they were leopard print bikini style ones.

But truly, I don’t like the attention of being the birthday girl. I just don’t like birthdays.  As a general rule I feel mine should be ignored as much as possible.  I do enjoy other people’s birthdays and love going out to celebrate their special day.  I have not showed my knickers in public since my 18^th birthday so I am quite a civilized person to ask out these days.  But when my turn comes round I slip into a state of denial and aggressively state that I am 39.

I don’t want to get old.  Every birthday is a reminder of my own mortality.  So in a Patsy Stone sort of way I remain 39.  39 is a good age, I like it and I’m sticking to it!

Comments

[Lesley]

I was listening to Russell Brand on BBC Radio 2 last week. He spent a very long time talking about trifle stains on his boxers. It WAS interesting! Perhaps you could try it?

[Nury]

I always enjoy your blog. They say that blogs are a good long-distance way to get to know someone on a more personal level, and that's certainly true of your blog. Having gone from nipple covers to bras to leopard-skin knickers, no one can accuse this blog and its community of being boring or prudish!
But (sorry to be sexist) I think this trick only works for females. I'm tempted to post something about my underpants on my blog but I don't think anyone would be interested.