Speedos - My confession

Attractive swim wear

RULES OF THE POOL

Years ago I used to be a swimming teacher and one of the rules about entering the swimming pool, for the males, was they should wear Speedos.  It seemed very sensible and logical to me at the time.  I even had a supply of spare ones for those silly boys who forget their own and foolishly turned up for swimming lessons wearing huge impractical board shorts.  "No no no".  I would say.  "You can't move properly in the water wearing those ridiculous items.  All that material flapping around your leg gets in the way of swimming, is uncomfortable and heavy when wet".  And I sent them back to the changing rooms to put on the Speedos I very helpfully kept for such occasions.

SHOWING THIGHS

It was an international school.  The Europeans never batted an eyelid at the rule.  The Americans, well that was another matter.  They hated wearing the Speedos and deemed them underwear.  Even the youngest kindergarten kids thought of wearing Speedos for swimming in was showing your underwear to the world.  The Arab kids hated them too, I guess it was an issue about showing thighs although I never really worked it out.

LYCRA

We had to lighten up on the rule after a while and relaxed it to allowing shorts that covered the leg as long as they were tight.  That essentially meant the boys who couldn't cope with the classic Speedo swam in lycra cycling shorts.

I don't understand why it is unacceptable for men or boys, come to that, to wear Speedos in a public place.  They are much much more practical for swimming in, sunbathing in and they dry quickly. 

HUGE SHORTS

Why oh why are huge, garishly patterned extra long legged board short acceptable attire for swimming in?   They are the most ridiculous item unless, of course, you are actually surfing and then they protect your legs from getting a nasty rash.  But once out of the water should be removed so that the tops of the legs can be evenly tanned.  Otherwise tops of boys legs remain a lily sickly white all year round and that is not a good look.

HAIR REMOVAL

Us females are required to remove all traces of pubic hair so that none of it sticks out from the edge of our tiny tiny bikini bottoms and we have to constantly be on guard against movement of the bikini top in case the tiny triangle moves to one side or the other and exposes a nipple!  But men can be as hairy down below as they please and wear huge shorts to the pool.

Huge shorts do not disguise an expanding waist line or sagging pecs.  The one piece for men has not caught on.  The shorts don't hide anything apart from legs and I for one am not averse to looking at mens legs, whereas a flabby torso is not so good.

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

So are we talking about a fear of penis here?  Is it that the wearing of Speedos means that we can make out the outline of the penis under the lycra?  Why?  Let's stop being scared of them and stop pretending they are not there. 

AGREE WITH LESLEY

If you are a supporter of the wearing of Speedos make a banner and parade it  around with you the next time you go swimming.  I suggest I AGREE WITH LESLEY on your sign.  Take a photo and post it on my blog to show your allegiance to the small Speedo instead of the silly board shorts.

 

Comments

[childrens clothing]

Colour blocking, pop colour, brights and pastels are huge in swimwear following the popularity of this trend throughout the cooler months and the brilliant hues translate strikingly into the lycra and stretch fabrics of summer.

[Timberland UK]

Good stuff as per usual, thanks. I do hope this kind of thing gets more exposure.

[Jordan]

I totally agree with you! Next time I'm at the beach I will take a photo with that sign and send it in.