The Rule of Pants

Pants - you have to have standards

I ventured into the realms of fashion a couple of days ago and made it known to the world that there are very strict rules regarding the wearing of socks.  If there are still folk out there who are unsure or unaware of the rules please refer to the previous blog called Socks- it's a mine field.  It has been suggested that I add a section about hikers and the red sock and chunky hiking boot plus there has been dispute over dark socks and trainers - honestly its a cheek!

I am now turning my attention to the subject of pants.  I mean pants, the sort you wear under your clothes (not trousers).  Briefs, knickers, panties, underwear, skivvies, smalls (feel free to add more names). 

I think this subject needs to be dealt with according to gender so I will tackle the men first.

There seems to be two main camps when the subject of male underwear is chosen and worn.  One lot prefer the boxer and the other the tighter cotton brief.  I am not a man.  It is a matter of personal choice, I cannot stress this enough.  But it has always been a bit of a mystery to me why men want to wear cotton boxers that have no support or stretch in them.  Surely a little support in that area would be beneficial?  I am just thinking how bras offer such support for females so it follows that the same would be true of the testicle area?  A further advantage of the brief would be less bulk under trousers or shorts, surely?  All explanations would be welcome here.

 

I also need to direct you to my previous blog on speedos and my confession at ths point.

Boxer Shorts

No Commandos Please

The strictest rule for males to adhere to is the wearing of underwear or at least if you have no underwear and are going to wear shorts then it is essential that the shorts have their own sewn in liner offering a snug hammock for the male parts and ensuring there is no embarrassment.  For instance when sitting down with legs apart or casually placing ones foot on a chair giving others an unrestricted view up the leg of the shorts. 

Female Pants

There are hundreds of different styles for women and it should logically follow that there should be enough styles for all the different shaped bottoms in the world.  But you'd be wrong.  Women's pants manufacturers are blind to the fact that pants have to cover cheeks so not make the dreaded VPL (visible pantie line) plus the invention of the thong has merely created a nasty infection spreading razor which is a useless piece of clothing.

Trinny and Susannah do talk some sense when it comes to foundation garments and have exposed a number of out of control wobbling bottoms in their attempt to up the standard of acceptable dress in the UK.  Magic Knickers

Girls, don't continue with ill fitting knickers that dig into your flesh and cause bulges ga lour.  There are some excellent body shaping items in Marks & Spencer these days.

And Spanx have a whole range of items to smooth any lump or bump.  See the Spanx Before and After photographs for yourself.  

 
There is even a male version of Spanx and I don't think men should shy away from this garment.  It could be a revolution for bellies world wide.  Spanx for Men offer compression under garments to help suck in bellies, its the Playtex 18 hour girdle for men.  It had to come one day.

 

Gentle reader, I conducted my own photographic survey this morning of pants in the local vicinity and I was shocked and horrified at some of the sights I found hanging around the place for all to see.  My mother was too shy to hang her pants on the washing line and kept them drying inside for modesty sake!  But some of the examples of shabby, worn out rags that pass  as underwear need to be seriously assessed and made into dusters at once.  (that's what my mother also used to do).  Check your knicker drawer now and if there are any that look like this, put them in the bin.

 

The washed out dark blue
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

                                                      Little and Large

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skiddies!

 

 

 

                                            Duster pretending to be underwear.

Comments

[boys tops]

When buying pants you measure your waist by wrapping a tape measure around your trunk wherever you want your pants to fall. Pant bottoms should hit your shoes and break once.

[Clothes Manufacturers]

Loved this one lesley this is an awesome blog post

[Lesley]

Loved this one Lesley, I never got boxers either. Mind you when you are only a 5' 8" tall male, you have to be careful of any kind of shorts or you end up looking even shorter. Ian

Greg checked out the blogs again. He wonders if Lesley has Googled budgie smugglers (budgy) or checked it out in a facebook search. Greg Patricia Peters

reg remembers when boxers, in a myriad of designs, were all the rage with the Grade 4 boys in his International School class in Vietnam. diven by Americans. Shorts were reasonably tight legged, but some kids with wider legged shorts who were new to underpants needed tips in appropriate dress code.

I suppose I should really discuss the fashion of showing your underwear, the waist band at least. That could be boxers or the back bit (whale tail) of thongs. Its just wrong.

Yes! in the teachers' lounge, in the classroom or anywhere in school, when the teacher squats or bends over. More than wrong!

All the comments were copied from a thread on Facebook. I wish they would comment directly onto my blog. I must make it easier for them.