I read up on this fantastic place before I left my hotel, which was really useful as it meant once I got off the water taxi at Ta Cheng Pier No 9, run the gaunlet of fruit and water sellers to get to the road leading to The Grand Palace, I knew the guy telling me that it was closed to foreigners until 2pm was a bit fat liar. It is a scam that he tries every two minutes on unsuspecting tourists and so while they wait for 2pm he can, very helpfully, and at a very good price, take them on his boat tour.
I walked on, with the hundreds of other tourists, the white walls of the palace on the right, its glorious gold spires just visible. To the left are some very sweet cafes offering free wifi and air con as well as every other trinket, souvenir and garishly printed items of clothing featuring elephants one could possibly not need. I managed to resist.
I had also usefully found out that one needs to be modestly dressed to enter the ground and so I had a dress hiding my legs and I had rather cleverly, I thought, brought a shawl with me. The same shawl that saved me from the arctic air con in the cinema. I was informed that my shawl just did not cut the mustard. If I had been in Hong Kong the retort would have been 'Cannot' accompanied by a wagging finger meaning - no. And in the Thai way there was absolutely no argument here. My arms needed to be covered with actual sleeves and my shawl was not acceptable.
Never worry, the gate guard told me, I could borrow a ladies blouse for free. Kindly queue up for the borrowing. I did and found myself in a ludicrous sort of backwards coat checking system where one lady dealt with one tourist at a time. She had a book of white and yellow chits in duplicate and requested a deposit of 200 Baht per item. She looked me up and down and decided I only needed a blouse. Others needed to cover their legs too. Men or women in shorts, ladies in tight leggings or mini skirts needed to cover up. Two items of clothing meant 200 Baht per item.
I paid my deposit and was asked for my name and signature. She used a paper clip to clip my 200 Baht to the white chit and I got to keep the yellow part for the return of the blouse and deposit. There was no urgency in the taking of the 200 baht or the filling in of details on the white and yellow slips. I remained calm.
In the women's area I found some subtle pastel shades of cotten blouses and put one over my dress and offending arms and clevage. I felt quite lucky that I did not have to cover my legs because the trousers or sarongs offered were the silliest items of clothes ever. Those batic elephant prints and tie-dyed hippy colours were alive and well in The Grand Palace.
Although I had a glorious time in and amongst the wonderful architecture I was totally distracted by the amount of tourists wearing silly trousers and very silly trousers and I spent a lot of my time furtively snapping to capture images of silliness.
How to get there
Use the Sky Train as much as possible while in Bangkok. It takes you up and out of the traffic jams and you can actually move around the city quite quickly and cheaply. Oh and wouldn't you know it, its freezing on the Sky Train, take a shawl.
Its 500 Baht to get in The Grand Palace.
200 Baht deposit if you are exposing flesh and need to borrow clothes.
Take the Silom Line to S6 Saphin Taskin Station Exit 2. Walk towards the river under a covered walk way (ignore Michael Jackson impersonator who was particularly average) and wait for the Chao Phraya Express Boat to Ta Cheng Pier No 9. It costs 15 Baht per person on the boat. Be prepared for standing up and being squashed.
Once you get off at Ta Cheng Pier follow the crowds towards The Grand Palace, ignore scam artists at all times.
It is your choice to return the borrowed clothes and get your 200 Baht back. You could always decide to keep the garish trousers for general hilarity once home.
Recent Comments