Lesley in Hong Kong

Another Year directed by Mike Leigh

THE MIKE LEIGH TECHNIQUE

I love the fact that Mike Leigh doesn't let the actors of his films have a script and the fact that he makes them develop the character themselves.  He sits them down and asks them a zillion questions about the character they will be, from what sort of breakfast did you eat as a child and how did you go to school to how you feel about your boss and how did you sleep last night.  Until the actor becomes the font of all knowledge for their character and will 'live' their character throughout their stint playing them.  Abigail's Party and Nuts in May are my favourites probably because Alison Steadman is in both of them.

BRITISH FILM IN HONG KONG

I look out for new work from Leigh and have been looking forward to seeing Another Year.  Eventually it came to Hong Kong after being released in the UK last year.  I am always keen to watch British films and adore the ordinariness of their portrayal of real life in all its mundane ways much more than the Hollywood razzmatazz. 

ANOTHER YEAR - REVIEW

World Exclusive Trailer - The Guardian

Another Year shows us the lives of Gerri and Tom, a middle-aged couple nearing retirement, and their year as the seasons change on their allotment.  Tom is a geologist and Gerri is a counsellor.  They are middle class and very comfortable in their cozy modern house and I want to tell you they have an Aga but I am not 100% sure, for arguments sake let's believe they do.  But the story is not really about them, its about their long  term friends Mary, a desperately sad and lonely woman who Gerri works with and Ken, Tom's old friend who is overweight and unhealthy with a potential drink problem.  The other character who is also taken into the kitchen (with Aga)  is Tom's brother who comes to stay after the death of his wife.

MARY

These three people are featured around the table of Gerri and Tom at various times during the year and their unhappiness is palpable. They are all in need of love and care at a time in their lives when none of them have a partner for various reasons.  Mary, in particular, is appealing to the couple for support and a slice of security in her shambolic life.  There is no doubt that Lesley Manville was utterly brilliant working in the Mike Leigh style and the audience can feel nothing but sympathy for her.

SUCH A REVOLTING COUPLE

I found the main characters of Tom and Gerri to be the most revolting  people.  They didn't entertain their friends, they merely  tolerated them.  They did not help them in any way apart  from feeding them and offering copious glasses of wine which was probably the last thing they needed.  Looking down their noses at their sad and lonely friends and just allowing them to get deeper into a  mire of self pity and mental health problems.   Gerri is the worst counsellor in the world and Tom has probably given up caring about his profession a long time ago given that retirement and more time on his allotment is looming. His sensitivity is actually cold and fake.

ORDINARILY BRITISH

It is a beautifully shot film and is British in its ordinariness, in a good way.  But I was so depressed at their lack of real care for their friends and I became more and more irritated by their superior stance of 'we are happy and you are not' attitude I wanted to take Mary and Ken and genuinely help them.  Really listen to their problems and really be supportive instead of a half arsed invitation for dinner during which nothing is really said and nothing is really changed.

 

 

Strawberry Picking - Hong Kong

Here I am snipping the strawberries

 

http://yl.com.hk/sbg/index.html

 

STRAWBERRY PICKING - SHA TAU KOK ROAD

Today I picked about 5lbs of strawberries on a pick-your-own-farm up towards Fanling in the New Territories.  In fact it's almost in China and there is the border with a policeman and a big sign saying Permit Holders Only'.  There is a big Buddhist temple on the right of Sha Tau Kok Road with many people burning paper offerings to their ancestors, some quite nice gardens with some carp swimming about although it could do with a clean and general prune.  One Buddhist temple is much like any other round these parts but this one has stalls with dried and fresh produce for sale.  The added bonus is the strawberry picking field.

My punnet (see below) cost $140 and right now I am making jam!

I would never have believed it possible but its really true.  It is strawberry picking for softies in that the plants are grown on plastic sheeting so no need to get any dirty soil on your Guccis plus they provide a handy pair of kiddie scissors for snipping the stalks.

 

A basket full of strawberries    $140 please

 As well as that I have now made organic carrot and corriander soup.  It's all good.

BREAKING NEWS - JAM IN JARS

Extra bonus addition to this blog - it is now Tuesday 5th April and the jam is now in jars.

The first attempt resulted in 4 jars of jam but it didn't set.  So I put two jars back in the pan, added apple skin and boiled for longer.  This resulted in set jam but it reduced down to only one jar.  It is yummy but in no way economical. 

Fairyland - Foot Massage and Hard Skin Removal - Shanghai

 

Feet

SOOTHING MASSAGE

After a tremendous amount of walking around Shanghai one Saturday on a weekend mini break our feet were throbbing and in need of some attention.  We didn't plan to visit Fairyland Health and Beauty on Nanjing Pedestrian Street, it seemed to find us.  I think it had a magnetic charm that lulled us up the stairs into completely unknown territory.  There was a short period of uncertainty until I was sure it was a respectable establishment because its just awful when it's not, don't you just hate it when that happens?

RELAXING MUSIC

In the blink of an eye we were made comfortable in a darkened room with relaxing music and our feet were soaked in fragrant water while the masseurs paid our shoulders much need attention.  A special bonus of a shoulder rub just to make up the time while the feet are cleansed and softened up ready for the foot massage.

HARD SKIN REMOVAL

The massage was excellent and I would have no reservations in recommending Fairyland if you are ever in need of stress relief and are in Shanghai at the same time.  But actually the best bit was the hard skin removal service.  For an extra 48 RMB a specially skilled man was summoned into the room yielding a blade.  Or was it a scalpel or was it an incredibly sharp chisel?  As I say it was a darkened room so it was hard to tell.  But the hard skin removal master was well equipped to work on feet in a darkened room.  He was wearing a head torch.  I guess he had a been boy scout when he was younger so was always prepared.  He set to work with the chisel and with the lightest touch he managed to  shave off what looked like snow flakes from my feet.  The towel was soon covered and I caught the masseurs looking sideways at each other at the surprising amount of dead skin building up as he dutifully shaved my feet.

The service was excellent, shoulder, feet and shaving of said feet. We floated out.  Wow!

Hard skin removal man wearing head torch

The man in the head torch made Fairyland an extra special experience and I want him to come and live in our house.

Lost Heaven, Yunnan Folk Cuisine, Shanghai

Yunnan Folk Cuisine Restaurant

http://www.lostheaven.com.cn/

Situated on Ya'an Dong Road, Shanghai this truly wonderful restaurant uses the flavours and ingredients of the Mountain Mekong Region to produce a spectacular menu. The dishes are influenced by flavours from Tibet, Burma, Thailand and the Yunnan Province of China.  The layout and decor is visually stunning and so is the menu and so are the chairs and so are the photographs displayed around the walls showing breathtaking images of the Yunnan area taken by David Hartung.  His photographs are also featured on the website if you care to check it out (Gallery).  But the nitty gritty of any restaurant, regardless of its lovely chairs and interesting toilets, is the food.  What does it taste like? 

I'll tell you. 

BEST FOOD EVER

At Lost Heaven I ate some of the best food I have ever had in my life.  It sounds like hyperbole and exaggeration doesn't it?  I really mean it.  I am being honest about the flavours.  So different, so refreshing and so scrumptious. 

The Yunnan Wild Vegetable Cakes (SEE PICTURE) served with a tomato relish were simple, beautiful. I enjoyed the chicken with seven spices as well as the mixed vegetables in a tamarind sauce.  The Crispy Pork was crispy, it was crackingly delicious.  The Tea Leaf Salad, a speciality dish from Burma, was the best dish which consisted of finely chopped, freshly picked tea leaf tips with a mixture of dried broad beans, peanuts and other yummy stuff.  I really don't know exactly what was in it I just know I needed to eat more of it. 

Lost Heaven gets a huge thumbs up from me.  When in Shanghai - go there.

Beautiful decor

The Hong Kong Literary Festival 2011 Benjamin Zephaniah

 

Benjamin Zephaniah

AN AUDIENCE WITH BEN PLUS HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN

In previous years I have seen authors talk about how they write and what they do to produce a book worthy of publication.  I am always interested in such a process having got to chapter seven of my own masterpiece but, so far, cannot find the wherewithal to continue to the end.  Authors sit in rooms with computers and write.  They usually work alone and so for the majority being in front of a large audience is not a natural environment.  Some can talk and be interesting, some can tell a story as well as write it, the opposite is sometimes, unfortunately true.  Some are not interesting and can't tell a story apart from when they are in their own room silently producing the written word.

A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

Benjamin Zephaniah is not soley a writer.  He is a performer.  Having an audience with him (and a few hundred school children) at this years literary festival was a wonderful experience.  His poetry is funny and accessable with a serious message.

I used to think nurses were women

I used to think police were all men

I used to think poets were boring

until I became one of them

 

You see what I mean?  Four lines, quite simple and straight forward but worthy of an analytical essay about the deeper meaning relating to feminism, class and stereotypical judgements in a post colonial voice.

A FUNNY MAN WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE

Zephaniah is funny.  He doesn't take himself seriously but he does take the world seriously.  His work carries a message about equality and justice for all, including turkeys.  He talks of racism and sexism and even vegatarinism.  The children were more than satisfied by his answers to their questions about what kind of car he drives to his twin sister's name and he deflected any questions about his dreadlocks, obviously he gets that a lot!

At 53 he is looking good.  I wonder if its being a rasta, being a vegan or being a kung fu expert?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH  OBE?

He was awarded an OBE but declined to accept it.  Here is the poem about that time.

 

Smart big awards and prize money
Is killing off black poetry
It's not censors or dictators that are cutting up our art.
The lure of meeting royalty
And touching high society
Is damping creativity and eating at our heart.

The ancestors would turn in graves
Those poor black folk that once were slaves would wonder
How our souls were sold
And check our strategies,
The empire strikes back and waves
Tamed warriors bow on parades
When they have done what they've been told
They get their OBE's.

Don't take my word, go check the verse
Cause every laureate gets worse
A family that you cannot fault as muse will mess your mind,
And yeah, you may fatten your purse
And surely they will check you first when subjects need to be amused
With paid for prose and rhymes.

Take your prize, now write more,
Faster,
Fuck the truth
Now you're an actor do not fault your benefactor
Write, publish and review,
You look like a dreadlocks Rasta,
You look like a ghetto blaster,
But you can't diss your paymaster
And bite the hand that feeds you.

What happened to the verse of fire
Cursing cool the empire
What happened to the soul rebel that Marley had in mind,
This bloodstained, stolen empire rewards you and you conspire,
(Yes Marley said that time will tell)
Now look they've gone and joined.

We keep getting this beating
It's bad history repeating
It reminds me of those capitalists that say
'Look you have a choice,'
It's sick and self-defeating if our dispossessed keep weeping
And we give these awards meaning
But we end up with no voice.

 

 

 

Svetlana Live at the Talk of the Town, Excelsior Hotel, Hong Kong

  

TASTLESS TROUSERS

 

The Talk of the Town is on the top floor of The Excelsior Hotel, Causeway Bay.  There are many, many good reasons for a night out there. 

• Fantastic view over Victoria Harbour
• TOTT has recently been renovated
  
• There is an excellent band featuring Wendy
• Nice comfy sofas
  
• Excellent service

WHO GOES THERE?

The clientele can be a mixture of hotel guests, business men and tourists as well as a few couples having a romantic night out.  Then there are the regulars who know the set list, the dance moves and the band.  There is also a subtle presence of older singles on the look out for other older singles and, so I'm informed, one or two escorts. 

GET UP AND DANCE

The best part of a night at The Talk of the Town is the dance floor and mainly because, unlike so many bars in Hong Kong, there is room to dance. I have been squashed in far too many small dance floors in Wan Chai or Lan Kwai Fong, where it is unpleasant and just about impossible to get in any sort of cool dance moves in.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRENDA

Last night me and my friends were treated to a thrilling display of pumping, grinding, moshing, twirling and pelvic thrusting  by a very sweet young lady, who I believe is called Svetlana.  What a treat!  Wearing a colourful array of tight lycra animal print from the Bet Lynch spring collection accessorized with touches of bling from Ratners she really stood out.   It goes without saying that she could whip her hair back and forth and boy did she ever!

STOP THAT CAVORTING!

I have thought about her quite a lot today wondering if she is in traction for neck or pelvis problems due to far too much cavorting.  But just a little message for her from all the other guests on the floor "Stop it!"

Driving the Hong Kong way

Chaos on Hong Kong roads

EXPERIECED DRIVER

I successfully passed my driving test, first time, over 25 years ago and, therefore, have been a qualified driver since that point.  Apart from my stint in the Magic Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, when I wasn't allowed to drive due to my feminine demeanor (it's true), I have been driving various vehicles on various roads since then.  I have negotiated the steep, narrow country lanes of West Yorkshire when I built up my left bicep doing scary hill starts.   I have managed snow and ice driving.  I have bumped across the desert and stopped on the motorway for camels in Bahrain where I saw enough accidents to last a life time.  I have delivered my children to parties in unknown streets and picked them up again as well as skilfully managing fastening child seats, serving Tommy tippee cups and chopped apple, singing along to child friendly music WHILE driving. 

All of this evidence means that I am a driver with experience.

GEOGRAPHY HURDLE

However, since arriving in Hong Kong I have regressed.  Even the break neck speed and reckless Arabic  driving style did not prepare me for Hong Kong roads.   My main hurdle is geography.  Even after being here a considerable amount of time, understanding the road signs seems to rely on the power of telepathy.  Although there are signs to,say,  Kwun Tong, how do you know when you've got to Kwun Tong?  There is no sign to tell you and everything looks the same and there are no spaces in-between areas.  It's all just one huge metropolis.  How can you tell if you have left Jordan and are in Prince Edward or Mong Kok?  What's the blooming difference?

Parking is prohibitively expensive and don't talk to me about tunnel fees.  Then there is the lack of understanding regarding the rules of roundabout use.

FRIENDLY WAVE IS EXPECTED

But its the complete lack of courtesy that is the most difficult to deal with.   I am programmed to queue and am hard wired to be a polite road user.  I am English after all.  So if someone in front is signalling to change lanes then it is protocol, in England anyway, to allow that person to manoeuvre in front of your car and you, as a sensible, polite and intelligent driver, to give him/her space to do that.  It is then quite normal, no expected, that a friendly wave to acknowledge this politeness is executed. 

EYES FRONT AND IGNORE

Hong Kong drivers seem blissfully unaware that other drivers need to change lanes at all and will, eyes front, continue to drive at the same speed, ignore your signal and even speed up to fill the gap so there is no chance of a safe manoeuvre causing you to drive to somewhere you don't even know and never wanted to go to in the first place.  Then they have the nerve to beep their horn!  This can also be done while queuing for tunnels.  Everyone is crawling along.  Eye contact, friendly nods or acknowledgment of the presence of other drivers can easily be made, but it never is.  No weakness must be shown.  Any attempt at lane changing at the tunnels is a serious chess move which, surprise surprise causes check mate regularly.  If no one will let anyone else in where are we all going? 

There is no courtesy on Hong Kong roads.

DOG EAT DOG

Is this dog eat dog attitude an indication of the real nature of Hong Kong people?  Perhaps their obsession with making money is the same attitude that is otherwise only exposed when they get behind the wheel of a car and their polite persona in other areas is merely a front, hiding the real cut throat 'I come first' stance?

Durham Big Meeting

Marching down Elvert, Durham

County Hotel, Durham

Big Wigs on Durham Racecourse

Durham Big Meeting  11^th July 2010

 Every second Saturday in July is Durham Miners Gala or the Big Meeting as its known.  I have been told that I’ve been before but I was little and don’t remember.  I was carried on my dad’s shoulders above the crowd, left on a wall with an ice cream for a bit, then picked up again and carried some more.  My dad’s getting on a bit now (80 in October) so not able to put me on his shoulders for as long these days, but I didn’t moan too much  and just walked.

 

COLLIERY BANNERS

There are no mines any more but the pit villages of the north east still maintain the tradition of coming together for this day.  They still have their colliery banners which are paraded through the City of Durham past the County Hotel, for the dignitaries to see, with their brass band accompanying them on the march past.

 

AN IMPORTANT DAY OUT

It’s a rousing sight and hundred of people come to Durham to watch them march.  The traffic stops and the police are in charge of guiding each colliery band and banner through the streets finishing at Durham Race Course.  Some are there for the day out with their family.  Some are there to drink beer.  Some are there to help carry the banner, an honour.  Some are there to play in the brass band.  Some are there because they are ex-miners and proud.   Some are there to support their union and some are there because they just always go. 

 

It really doesn’t matter why because it’s a grand day out.

 

POLITICAL EVENT

It’s a working mans event.  If I was going to be political about it I would have to say it’s a left wing socialist event.  The Socialist Worker and the Morning Star were on sale and the editors of those papers were on the stage.  There was also Mrs Arthur Scargill the ex-leader of the mine workers union and Ken Livingston (Red Ken to his mates) was the keynote speaker.  The words ‘brothers and sisters’, comrades and ‘suffering of the poorest in our society’ were banded around quite a lot.  It was an opportunity to criticize David Cameron’s new austerity measures and generally have a pop, unchallenged, about the new coalition government. 

 

In the meantime during these highly charged political speeches the fare ground continued to play its music, people continued to picnic on the grass and the banners and bands rested around the edges of the field.  Whatever their reason for turning up didn’t matter, they were all having a great time.

 

Here is a  poem written by my dad about the event.

 

Durham Big Meeting

By Bert Draycott  W.C.S.P.

 

Banners bands and people

Filling every street

On the second Saturday in July

When the Durham miners meet

The city traffic stops that day

Everyone goes on foot

And the pubs are open all day log

It’s true, they never shut

 

Every colliery village sends a banner and a band

To march and play in Durham streets

The sight is really grand

Just banner after banner, down

Elvet and past the jail

Banners bellowing in the breeze

Like galleons in full sail

 

When Fishburn (my banner) comes along

Your chest sticks out with pride

And you step off from the pavement

And march along beside

With the bairn sat up on your shoulders

And your work mates from the pit

While the band plays The Blaydon Races

Or one of the latest hits.

 

Hey- you’ve never seen as many shows

In all your life

No wonder every pitman goes, and takes

The bairns and wife

You can see the tattooed lady, shuggy boats

And bumper cars

Flying chairs and a boxing booth

And in there you might see stars

Then you’ll meet old friend and stand and crack

And then go on your way

And hope to see them all again

On Durham Big Meeting Day.

 

 

 

Speedos - My confession

Attractive swim wear

RULES OF THE POOL

Years ago I used to be a swimming teacher and one of the rules about entering the swimming pool, for the males, was they should wear Speedos.  It seemed very sensible and logical to me at the time.  I even had a supply of spare ones for those silly boys who forget their own and foolishly turned up for swimming lessons wearing huge impractical board shorts.  "No no no".  I would say.  "You can't move properly in the water wearing those ridiculous items.  All that material flapping around your leg gets in the way of swimming, is uncomfortable and heavy when wet".  And I sent them back to the changing rooms to put on the Speedos I very helpfully kept for such occasions.

SHOWING THIGHS

It was an international school.  The Europeans never batted an eyelid at the rule.  The Americans, well that was another matter.  They hated wearing the Speedos and deemed them underwear.  Even the youngest kindergarten kids thought of wearing Speedos for swimming in was showing your underwear to the world.  The Arab kids hated them too, I guess it was an issue about showing thighs although I never really worked it out.

LYCRA

We had to lighten up on the rule after a while and relaxed it to allowing shorts that covered the leg as long as they were tight.  That essentially meant the boys who couldn't cope with the classic Speedo swam in lycra cycling shorts.

I don't understand why it is unacceptable for men or boys, come to that, to wear Speedos in a public place.  They are much much more practical for swimming in, sunbathing in and they dry quickly. 

HUGE SHORTS

Why oh why are huge, garishly patterned extra long legged board short acceptable attire for swimming in?   They are the most ridiculous item unless, of course, you are actually surfing and then they protect your legs from getting a nasty rash.  But once out of the water should be removed so that the tops of the legs can be evenly tanned.  Otherwise tops of boys legs remain a lily sickly white all year round and that is not a good look.

HAIR REMOVAL

Us females are required to remove all traces of pubic hair so that none of it sticks out from the edge of our tiny tiny bikini bottoms and we have to constantly be on guard against movement of the bikini top in case the tiny triangle moves to one side or the other and exposes a nipple!  But men can be as hairy down below as they please and wear huge shorts to the pool.

Huge shorts do not disguise an expanding waist line or sagging pecs.  The one piece for men has not caught on.  The shorts don't hide anything apart from legs and I for one am not averse to looking at mens legs, whereas a flabby torso is not so good.

WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?

So are we talking about a fear of penis here?  Is it that the wearing of Speedos means that we can make out the outline of the penis under the lycra?  Why?  Let's stop being scared of them and stop pretending they are not there. 

AGREE WITH LESLEY

If you are a supporter of the wearing of Speedos make a banner and parade it  around with you the next time you go swimming.  I suggest I AGREE WITH LESLEY on your sign.  Take a photo and post it on my blog to show your allegiance to the small Speedo instead of the silly board shorts.

 

England 1 USA 1 World Cup 2010

WORLD CUP EXCITEMENT

I am being swept along with the build up to the World Cup.  Ah, memories of a faster heart beat and slight shortness of breath when I reinact previous England games I have watched during previous World Cup tournaments.  I can recreate the electric atmosphere in a bar filled with England fans, the camaraderie, the hilarious banter, the red and white George Cross prominent.  I get exciting and most of all I get patriotic.

SHORT MEMORY

You see for long periods of time I don't like football at all.  I am only and exclusively interested in England games once every four years.  I think it must be like having a baby.  Women have more than one baby because they can't remember the pain of labour, they forget how terrible it was and embark upon second, third and even fourth pregnancies because they get carried away with the falling in love with the baby part and obliterate the part when they were screaming for mercy and any form of pain killer available.

ENGLISH RESPONSIBILITY

I can only remember the thrill of the win.  I forget the disappointing empty feeling I am left with when they lose.  That memory must be shelved somewhere in my hard drive waiting to be deleted forever.  I can't help myself but will England to victory because it is my country.  I can't let them play unsupported, it is my responsibility as an English citizen.

2am WAKE UP CALL

So when I realized that their first match in the World Cup against USA was not on our telly and was at 2.30am I had no hesitation but to commit to viewing it in a bar somewhere in Hong Kong.  I just had to.  OK OK to be honest I was horrified at the kick off time and spent Saturday thinking about watching it or not, but it's so late, so early, so inconvenient... but in the end I decided I would go to bed, set the alarm for 2am, get up and go to Sai Kung.  It's only every four years  after all.

SO PATRIOTIC

And that is what we did.  The hard core, patriotic England supporters where in Sai Kung at 2.30am technically Sunday morning.  POETS was our bar of choice.  We were tucked in the corner with a great view of the screen and the pints of Guinness flowed.  To my surprise there were Americans in the bar too.  Oh well, live and let live!  The thrill of the first goal five minutes in resulted in much cheering and merriment.  It WAS worth getting up at such an unearthly hour.  But then the USA scored.  A plain stupid mistake by the England goalie with slippy gloves saw the score go to 1-1 and we all moaned in unison. 

HALF TIME ACTIVITY

The score remained like that until half time when I had a walk around a very quiet Sai Kung to find The Duke of York, Bacco and Cheers all full of dedicated England watchers.  Steamers was closed. I did spot one drunk at this point but she was causing no trouble, just meandering, staggering home.  I called in the Golden Arches eatery and joined a queue of blokes buying half-time snacks and talking about football.  Two wearing the obligatory football T-shirt and one wearing evening dress, white shirt, black bracers, silk stripe on the trouser.  Wow!  Such a high standard of attire for football viewing I thought.  We all had to wait far too long for our fast food,  McDonald's was not ready for a half time rush! 

DISAPPOINTMENT

Back to POETS for the second half which was uneventful and unconvincing.  That empty feeling was back.  There was no further goal and our boys showed little in the way of creativity or determination to take the lead.  I hope they read my blog and can fully understand the major effort it was to view their lack luster performance at 2.30am only to be let down.  The next game is Friday 18th June against Algeria.

Come on England!

What Next?

LAST TWO - LEE AND CRYSTAL

I know I've been banging on and on about American Idol.  Even when its been a tad boring I have stuck with it.  Now the last week is dawning. Wednesday and Thursday will be the last episodes with only two contestants remaining, Lee and Crystal.

SIMON COWELL

This is good news for Lesley's List because it means that out of the 16 I selected as possibilities to win, I still have one in the final.  Crystal Bowersox made it onto my list during the auditions round and there she is, in the final. So I win a million dollars?  I reckon I am tops at picking out the real talent and so should take over from Simon Cowell as top mean British judge when he stops doing Idol next year.  Season Ten could be Randy, Ellen, Kara and Lesley.   I wonder how much they pay?

WHEN IDOL IS OVER WATCH THE WORLD CUP 2010

But what worries me is - what am I going to do when Idol finishes?  Do you think there are counselling sessions available for viewers who suffer withdrawal symptoms?  People who find themselves  wandering around with stunned expressions, unable to concentrate on anything because their weekly routine has become so entrenched with America Idol they don't know where to turn once its over.   Such people will require post traumatic Americal Idol group counselling sessions where everyone can thrap on about their favourite, why there will never be another Adam Lambert and where on earth is Kriss Allen anyway, they can all practice their favourite judge impression and perhaps even have group sessions involving standing up clapping and yelling You had a moment dawg"  or such like.

Never fear.  I have a suggestion to all Idol addicts - watch the World Cup.

ENGLAND SUPPORT FOR EVER

I never thought I would find myself saying this because watching football is definitely not my thing.  But something happens to me every four years.  I turn into a football fan and I have even considered buying myself a polyester top emblazoned in garish logos.  Obviously I resisted that.  I am patriotic though.  I can't deny it.  I support England.  I really really want them to win.  My football fan hormones are about to kick in.  You know the ones that convince you that England are the best team ever, it's almost like having a child that can do no wrong.  No one can say anything negative about England that I believe and I become blinkered and dogmatic about their skill.

SHORT MEMORY

I have already forgotten about the last time when I was so excited about their every game when my hopes were dashed when they lost and got knocked out.  The world cup is about to start again so the slate is clean.  I await their success with an open heart and I believe they will win.  Engerland, Engerland, Engerland nah nah.

The Final Three

As readers of my blog will know I am a fan of American Idol.  I have fessed up about this and cannot apologize for it even though I have to admit that this year the contestants just haven't been as charismatic or as talented as in previous years.  Their presence on stage has been somewhat muted and their showmanship is still developing.  None of them can really give us a clear idea of what their actual style is and don't seem to be able to stick to their beliefs or their 'true self' as the judges put it.  Is there really any authenticity on show for us or are they being molded and groomed into the cash cow that the show so desperately wants?

HANG ON A MINUTE!  Am I talking about American Idol or am I really talking about the British General Election?  They could be one in the same thing.  All the contestants, whoops sorry I mean politicians, couldn't really convince us of their true beliefs or persuade us, as a majority, to vote for them.  What is the difference?  Where is their authenticity?  Did any one of them have a 'moment' we can latch on to and feel sure we can make a confident choice?  The answer is clearly no as it's a draw. It seems that we can't go into extra time.  We can't have a replay on a Wednesday evening.  We can't even have a 'hands on the buzzer' really difficult sudden death question or a penalty shoot out with Richard Kingson in goal (he let eight in against Chelsea the other day so must be rubbish).

This is on a parallel with American Idol.  Idol gets the American public to vote people off and the final three have to stand there and wait for the results each week when one goes home.  We then get to watch a little video of their experience while the rest sit down with relief and know they get to sing for one more week.  So why don't we do that.  It must be fairly easy to organise a telephone vote and stop the all-boys-together 'talks' that appear to be based on who will be new best friends.  So get the three of the them together, Ryan Seacrest could be the presenter although Ant or Dec could do it equally well.  We all cast our vote and the one with the least amount of votes goes home.  Obviously we get to watch a little video of their career so far but miss out the singing at the end.

After that the final two need to perform a few entertaining tasks to convince us of their suitability to run the country. First they could do a few really tricky maths problems such as "If Tony spends X amount on education and healthcare over Y amount of years what will the national debt be?  Give your answer in percentages equated to the GDP?"  (Answer is 59.9% in case you were wondering) or perhaps they write a persuasive piece with the title "Proportional representation -v- First past the post - Who benefits most?".  Just a thought.  It goes without saying that Simon Cowell would get to berate them mercilessly.  That wouldn't have anything to do with the answers or the voting, but merely for public enjoyment.

The BBC has already put a little video montage together going over Gorden's experience since he became P.M. 

Have a look.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/election_2010/8673754.stm

Gordon 'will' step down is the headline today.  When? is the unanswered question. I predict that more people would be inclined to vote by phone than turn out at a polling station.  No schools would close and the crime rate would be significantly reduced as a high percentage of the population would stay in and watch the telly that night.  Sorted.

The Final 9 - American Idol Season 9 - Didi goes home

It should have been Tim Urban.

I sound like a jilted lover by proxy!  But you see Didi is on my 'LIST'.  MY LIST of potential finalists was carefully selected during the audition rounds and includes Andrew Garcia, Crystal Bowersox, Michael Lynche and it used to include Didi Benami but after America voted Didi went home last night.

Everyone can see, hear and even smell that Tim Urban is struggling to perform anything.  He has a weak voice.  Perhaps it's the hair that keeps the votes coming in?  He does nothing for me, I am not a fan of hair!   After Didi's demise the voice of God AKA Simon did not decide to give her a second chance so off she goes.   It must be next week that we wave goodbye to Tim's floppy fringe?

So now my list is:-

Andrew Garcia

Crystal Bowersox

Michael Lynche

Obviously I wish I had Siobhan Magnus on there as she is fab and groovy, if not a bit screamy, but we all love a good scream on a Wednesday night don't we?

 

 

 

Pajamas and parenting

All mothers, at some point, need to explain to their offspring basic stuff such as the regular use of the toothbrush and the consistent change of socks and knickers.  It would be a crime to parenting if such things were not instilled into children.  It sometimes requires humiliation and embarrassment but, thankfully, only in the privacy of the home.  Obviously such difficult subjects are broached so as children can be launched into the world and be able to conduct themselves in a socially acceptable manner plus have friends.

During the school holidays, and I'm talking about when I was a school girl, I would sleep well into the afternoon and sometimes still be in my nightie when my mother came home from work.  Oh the shame!  This always resulted in me getting a mouthful of abuse from her telling me I was slovenly, lazy and a down right slob for not having the wherewithal to get my body washed and dressed ready to start the day.  An even worse crime would be hanging the washing on the line, which was in the back garden, still wearing said nightie or worse still opening the door to someone still wearing night clothes.  (We all know the joke about the door in the pajamas so I'm going to spare you that).  Just because we lived on a council estate didn't mean we had to act common, she said.

Basically my mother taught me the importance of getting washed and dressed in the morning as a way of making a good impression to the world.

Now it seems that this parenting skill has been forgotten in some parts as it has become necessary for some establishments to issue some dress code guidelines which include

NO PAJAMAS

The World Expo will held in Shanghai this year and city officials are having a crack down on pajama wearing in public.  It seems that the Shanghai population are in the habit of wearing their Pj's in the street on a regular basis and it is up to an official to point out that this is not correct etiquette.  Apparently before the Beijing Olympics 2008 the same guidelines were issued.

 
 

A branch of Tescos in St. Mellons, Cardiff, after receiving complaints from properly brought up shoppers, has found it necessary to have a dress code posted at the front of the store which states;

'To avoid causing embarrassment to others we ask that our customers are appropriately dressed when visiting our store (footwear must be worn at all times and no nightwear is permitted).'

Unbelievably but true Tescos then had complaints from the pajama wearing contingent saying that its just wasn't fair to bring in such a rule because then it stopped parents 'popping in' AFTER they have dropped their kids off at school.  So that means not only have they not been in the shower and put clothes on to go to the supermarket they have not had the basic common sense to get themselves washed and dressed before taking their children to school.  What sort of message is that? 

At the risk of giving too much information, I do not wear anything under my pajamas. No underwear is what I'm saying.  I was taught that it wasn't hygenic.  So the big question is "Do people who wear pajamas in the street, at the supermaket, in the car, etc. wear their underwear underneath?"  If the answer is no then the image of those flapping flys in mens pajamas pops into my head.  You know the ones with no button...Oh Lord did their mother teach them anything?

PS I can find loads of photographs of Chinese people wearing pajamas in the street and actually in Hong Kong is it quite common.  I could find none in Tescos!

The Chippy, Pottinger Street, Hong Kong

The Chippy, a truly British experience.

www.chippy.com

Cultural Holiday

The summer holidays are approaching and soon I will be visiting Blighty for a reminder of the culture I am deprived of.  I haven't been home for a couple of years now so the lure of midget gems, fresh Cadbury's chocolate and cream cakes with real cream in them is becoming intense.  The food hall at Marks and Spencer's and all those supermarkets with aisles big enough for 2 trolleys to pass each other with a vast amount of choice will be so lovely. 

Fish, Chips, Mushy Peas, Bread and Butter, Mug of Tea

Yesterday as a pre holiday treat we went to eat at The Chippy.  It is exactly what you imagine.  It's a chip shop.  A very British chip shop right in Central Hong Kong.  They have recreated the grease and smell of a typical fish and chip shop with a menu that wouldn't be out of place in any town in the UK.  Cod, chips, mushy peas a mug (yes a mug) of tea (Tetleys) and a slice of white bread and butter.   Fish cakes, steak and kidney pie, chips and peas and then the deserts  deep fried Mars bar.  They also offer the full all day English breakfast with black pudding. 

Cholestral Levels

It is all bad but all good on the same place.  I just knew that grease was sticking to my arteries as I was savoring the scrumptious crispy batter on my lovely white flakes of deep fried cod and I knew the butter melting through the white slice as the heat of the chips warmed up the bread was raising my cholesterol levels but Lord I enjoyed it.  The big mug of tea washed all the fat away and left me feeling cleansed yet belt loosening full.

Posh Chips

The decor was, obviously, white tiles with a touch of seaside blue dado, a wall of blackboard for the menu, rickety wooden tables all stocked with the condiments you expect.  HP Brown Sauce, Heinz Tomato sauce, salt and yes you've guessed it - vinegar.  The glass counter had pickled onions and pickled eggs on offer in large glass jars.  The only pretentious features of The Chippy in Hong Kong, which you don't often get in England, is the reading material provided for customers - The Sunday Times Magazine.   The background music was BBC Radio 2 live, via the internet. All a bit posh frankly but it's what us expats expect these days!

Home Sweet Home

The whole experience made us feel comfortable and at home.  The only bad thing was knowing we were in Central and had to travel an hour back to the tranquility of Sai Kung in rush hour.  Once our clothes are washed and the smell of deep fried fat is removed we'll be fine.

 I'll be running tonight to work off those calories.

They're Happy Because

They Eat Chips

Gorilla Suit in Hong Kong

Is it real?

I am a proud mother, I don't deny it.  So have a look at my daughter's latest homework assignment.  She was asked to make a music video for her Media Studies course.  Click on the link and it will take you to You Tube where you can watch the video and listen to the music.  She borrowed two gorilla costumes from a children's party company then was filmed 'at large' in Hong Kong.  My daughter is the one wearing the scarf - otherwise she is unrecognizable!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGF8VULVSP4

 

Social Experiment

But I just have to comment on the social significance of this moment in time.  Where else in the world could you parade around on the streets of a busy 'world' city in a gorilla suit and not be acknowledged unless, of course, you jumped in front of people and scared the life out of them.  I think this says a lot about the compliance and inverted politeness, which may be misconstrued as aloofness, of Hong Kong people.  They just want and expect things to be safe and to run on schedule, to be expected and routine.  When, unusually, two people in gorilla costumes board the MTR their reaction is either "Ignore" "look down" "pretend it is not happening " or to whip out their mobile phone and take a picture of it preferably with the standard two fingered peace sign.  This features in EVERY photograph ever taken by people from Hong Kong - if they don't do that particular pose then the photograph just gets deleted and lost forever.  

Hello!  Who the **** is Kitty?

often imagine Hong Kongers looking through their photograph albums looking at pictures of themselves in the same pose at various times of the year, all photos taken in shopping malls with some sort of Hello Kitty or Mini Mouse theme going on in the background.  How dull!

Cheese or Cheers?

Actually there are a few more standard 'take a photograph with me" poses.  As well as the two fingered peace sign there is the tongue out and sticking up to one side pose, this is borderline porn star but because of the naivety in this city it passes off as cute (some would say - but not me) and then there is the finger poked in the cheek pose while at the same time making a screwing motion with said finger, oh and obviously, the grin has to be unnaturally large and cheesy (or is that cheersy - saying 'Cheese' while having your photograph taken has been lost in translation and becomes 'Cheers'.

Dog Clothes

Oh and how could I forget photographs taken while posing but with the added interest of a dog dressed in clothes.  Come to Sai Kung on a Sunday afternoon and see this for yourself.

Tourist Reaction

Significantly the Western tourists on Nathan Road were the only ones to embrace the fun in the situation and have some sort of concept about how to react.  These people may possibly have travelledto other 'world' cities such as Paris or Barcelona or London and seen street theatre or just plain old busking.  They know it's for fun, they are on holiday and up for a good time.  Their reaction is different from the residents.

When I decide to do my Masters in Sociology I shall use this empirical evidence as the corner stone of my research.

Gig Experience - Elton John in Hong Kong

Elton now

Elton John performed in Hong Kong on 20th May and I witnessed it.  A jolly good showman he is too.

Elton then

At almost 1am (Yes I know, shocking isn't it?) I got into bed - this was a TUESDAY night with work the next day.  Horror of horrors I broke my routine and didn't have my Ovaltine before I was tucked up with a good book (reading glasses compulsory these days) by 10pm.  It must be a sign of old age that going out to see a 61 year old perform, him seated at his piano and me seated for 90% of the time, apart from Crocodile Rock, obviously, had a dramatic affect.  I was tired for 2 days after the event and it wasn't as if I was on the Chardonnay.

Bay City Rollers

My experience of gigs has really changed over the years and it all started with the Bay City Rollers in 1974.  When I got older and the Bay City Rollers became so uncool I melted their LPs on the fire and for years denied ever even liking them.  I truly wanted to have been ultra cool and been able to tell stories of the time I went to see David Bowie at Newcastle City Hall in 1974.  My attempt at getting a ticket involved saving up the ticket money and buying a postal order, for the value of five pounds I think, from the Post Office.  Dutifully sending it off to the City Hall only to have it returned it a week later stamped 'Sold Out'.  Newcastle was over an hour away on the bus and I couldn't afford the bus fare and the ticket.  Life is cruel sometimes.

The Globe Theatre Stockton on Tees

I have since got over the shame of The Rollers gig and can now recount proudly how I spent the whole time screaming from the circle balcony "Eric!" and dropping to my knees in a pre pubescent fake faint every time I imagined he glanced up at me.  No one else near by - ME!  And how when the gig was over me and my mates were involved in a kerfuffle outside the stage door at The Globe Theater, Stockton-on-Tees behind a line of policemen who did a sterling job at keeping us back by linking their arms and squashing us against the wall until we screamed even more.

I got home exhausted but thrilled by the experience and told my parents how fantastic it was and how much I screamed for Eric.  They laughed themselves silly about it for weeks and took the mickey out of me mercilessly!

1974 was a good year

I also saw Alvin Stardust and David Essex at the same venue circa November 1974 and have the ticket stubs somewhere to prove it.

Alvin  Stardust          David Essex

Gary Glitter

As luck would have it I was also a big Gary Glitter fan and have seen him five times.  Those gigs have involved being squashed up against the stage at St. George's Hall in Bradford trying not to spill my drink avoiding other people's mad dancing, fag ends and spilt beer while three lads sitting on each other's shoulders looked like they would topple over on to the crowd at any minute.   Health and safety wasn't an issue.  Nowadays I just keep quiet about those Christmas concerts as old Gazza is locked up safely somewhere in Cambodia.

Peter Noon                  Lonnie Donagan

My first LP was The Hits of Lonnie Donegan and my first single was Herman's Hermits Something is Happening.  I was so misguided.

Sex Pistols           Johnny Rotten

Rock Garden Middlesborough

My brother was much cooler than me.  In the late 70's he was a punk and went off to see unknown bands at The Rock Gardens in Middlesborough with his inky black hair and his PVC trousers.  He saw Debbie Harry, The Buzzcocks and the Sex Pistols to name a few, and came home smelling of beer and fags with remnants of spit on his t-shirt.  His record collection is now worth something while my Osmonds and Steeleye Span LPs have been wrapped in brown paper and disposed of years ago.

Gigs for Oldies

Gigs these days are so much more orderly.  No pushing to get to the front, hardly any screaming and certainly no smoking.  You can get home smelling almost fresh out of the shower after a well ordered night out.  Or - is it just that the last few people I have seen have all been over 60 in Hong Kong.  I must write a note to myself to go and see someone at least younger than me and in the charts now.

After a quick search I find that young slip of a thing - Madonna has been number one for a few weeks...

 

Investment

I have been living my expat life for 19 years now.  It was never the plan to stay away from home for so long in fact these days the place that I call home has become Hong Kong, so the longer I am away from England the less I miss it.  Don't get me wrong I do love going back to England and still get those pangs of guilt about leaving it especially when I think about the beautiful scenery of Yorkshire and, obviously, Meadowhall Shopping Centre in Sheffield and the Metro Centre in Newcastle!

During our first year of expat living in Saudi Arabia we met people who had different experiences of living abroad.  They all had advice for us ranging from where to buy those necessary items that are missed so much (plain flour to make Yorkshire Puddings) to how to save your hard earned cash and prepare for a decadent early retirement. 

Also during that first year people told us that we would never return to the UK now that we had had a taste of what else is available.  Also that we should be aware that the domestic staff we paid to clean up after us would be sending their money back to Nepal or the Philippines or Sri Lanka to support a large extended family and buy land and property whereas we would end up with some nice holiday memories and some fancy electrical goods. 

I never believed that advice at the time but as the years have panned out it has become perfectly true.  We have only lived in the UK for 18 months since 1989.  Each time we have employed a cleaner they have bought property or land in their home country and managed to support their family while we have had a few fabulous holidays and now have a jolly nice LCD telly and an ipod nano.  Domestic workers employed in the homes of most expat families are from third world countries and their money buys a lot more than it does for us back in our home country.

So in an attempt to prepare for that decadent early retirement which is getting further and further away instead of closer and closer we took advice from our friendly financial adviser (Terry Hart) who looked at our situation and said in no uncertain terms that we were 'squandering a financial opportunity that we have here in Honkers' and that we should start a savings plan and buy some property instead of paying rent (thanks Tezza!). 

We took his advice and later this month we will become the owners of 2 adjoining 700sq' flats in Sai Kung which we intend to knock into one space and completely refurbish.  The price of property in Hong Kong is extortionate and I can't help feeling we could have bought a castle in Yorkshire for the same money but we don't live in Yorkshire, we live here.

The work will start very soon and we hope to be in by the middle of August.  Here are the 'before' pictures and there will be 'during' and 'after' pictures to follow.  I feel a reality TV show coming on... 

Teddy Bear

Woolworths have teddy bears for sale at 50% off because they are not allowed to make a prophet out of them.

Boom Boom

sorry couldn't resist that one!

Mesfaar Marriage

I was forwarded this newspaper article from Saudi Arabia by some friends in the US.  Initally I thought it was yet another example of how Saudi women are oppressed but then I began to think perhaps they manage to have their cake and eat it too?

From the Arab News, 10 April 2007

RIYADH, 10 April 2007 — Women students aspiring to go abroad on  scholarships as part of the King Abdullah Scholarship Program were  told last month that they would be unable to leave the Kingdom  without a legal companion in the form of a husband, brother, or  father — something that has caused an increase in a form of marriage  dubbed the “mesfaar marriage” (the travel marriage).

Thirteen students have so far announced their intentions to get  married solely for the purpose of being able to travel abroad and  qualify for the scholarship program. The students say their family  circumstances make it difficult for their brothers and fathers to  accompany them abroad for long periods of time, sometimes three or  four years.

“After learning about the requirements that women students need to  have a male guardian in order to go abroad, some friends and I  decided to get married. We announced that we were hoping to marry  quickly in order to meet the deadline for our scholarship  applications,” said an applicant of the King Abdullah Scholarship  Program.

Speaking about the name of the marriage, student Zuleykha (not her  real name) said: “The name was coined because we announced that we  wanted to get married in order to travel abroad. That’s why it’s  called the mesfaar marriage.”

According to Zuleykha, mesfaar marriages are perfectly legal and do not contradict principles of Islamic marriage. “They are in  accordance with normal marriage conditions, which include the  acceptance of the marriage from both sides, the attendance of  witnesses, marriage registration, the consent and knowledge of  families from both sides and the dowry,” she said, adding, “We don’t  care so much about the name of the marriage as long as it’s according  to Islamic norms.”

So, are mesfaar marriages temporary marriages as assumed by certain newspapers? “No, the marriage is a long-term marriage. This is a perfectly normal legal marriage. They’ve just been called mesfaar marriages because of the circumstances surrounding them,” added  Zuleykha.

Specialists in Islamic law differ whether mesfaar marriages are proper or improper. Zaid Maharsh, assistant professor at the Faculty of Education in Jizan, who also holds a PhD in Islamic Law, feels such marriages are contrary to the principles of Islam.

“This type of marriage does not exist in Islam and contradicts all norms. It is based on personal interests, which is illegal and wrong,” he said.

Nour Al-Attas, a supervisor in the Islamic Education Office in Abu  Arysh, said: “The main concern of girls nowadays is money and work.  In order for them to achieve those objectives, they’re giving up traditional and religious norms. They’re also giving up their principles by marrying in such dubious ways. It is a shame that women are nowadays giving up their main role in life of being mothers.”

Schoolteacher Safiya Ahmed does not see any problem in such marriages. “They help women students continue their education. The level of education in the Kingdom is not exactly perfect. There are certain specialist fields that cannot be studied here and so people end up going abroad,” she said, adding, “If mesfaar marriages don’t consist of specified periods of time, and don’t violate Islamic rulings then there is no big deal. They are pretty helpful.”

Afaf Sadeq, head of the Faculty of Arabic Language in Jizan, said people needed to look beyond the modern names given to these sorts of marriages and weigh them up according to Islamic principles.

“People are just coining these names for personal reasons and for prestige. In future, we may hear other invented names. Legitimate marriages are clear and explicit and don’t need names. It is these types of marriages that are based on intentions to build strong and good families,” he added.

Hala Al-Utaibi, an MA student, said gaining an education is important to her but she would not opt for a mesfaar marriage. “My MA is in a very important and rare discipline, it’s about handicapped people.  I’m hoping to get a Ph.D. by researching talented people with intellectual disabilities. I wouldn’t be able to do this in the Kingdom. Not having a legal companion is preventing me from travelling abroad to complete my studies. However, I would never think of doing a mesfaar marriage. They just seem controversial and not in line with Islamic principles,” she said.

Reem Saad feels that the main reason behind people opting for mesfaar marriages is a lack of educational opportunities in the Kingdom. “The Ministry of Higher Education could arrange for specialist courses to be available at universities in the Kingdom. This would stop these types of marriages from taking place,” she said.

A retired Saudi teacher, who preferred to remain anonymous, said:  “Marriage is a sacred communion regulated by God in order to build families. Couples share the ups and downs of life. Nowadays, people have created new types of marriages, like the misyaar, the zawaj friend and now the mesfaar marriage. All these marriages have no basis in Islam,” she said.

“We need to educate our young boys and girls the meanings of self- esteem and dignity. Let them know that marriage is a sacred contract based on mutual rights and duties,” she added.

Muhammad Al-Nujaimi, professor of law at

King

Fahd

University

and member of the Islamic Fiqh Academy, said: “Once the marriage has fulfilled its conditions it is legal, regardless of the terminologies used by people. This is the same with regard to what is known as the  mesfaar marriage.”

Meanwhile, women students who want to go for mesfaar marriages say there are conditions for prospective husbands.

“He needs to be single. We don’t want to be home wreckers. He also needs to be employed. Being employed proves that a man is hardworking and can bear the responsibilities of life,” said Zuleykha, adding, “We consider the dowry to be a natural entitlement. Girls who opt for  mesfaar marriages don’t want to end up losing anything in case the marriage breaks up.”

She added: “We call on the public to take into consideration our  circumstance. We really need to continue our education, which isn’t  available in the Kingdom, and so this is the easiest way to get out  of this predicament. What is the problem of traveling to complete our  education and then returning to serve our homeland?”