Lesley in Hong Kong

Nowhere Boy - directed by Sam Taylor-Wood

John Lennon  1961

Aaron Johnson  plays John Lennon 2010

 

I enjoyed this film a lot.  It is the story of John Lennon's adolescence, an important period in his life when his beloved uncle died suddenly leaving him with his Aunt Mimi and  also explains the very very complicated relationship he had with his mother. It ends, and I don't think I'm giving away anything here, as he heads off to Hamburg with his new band, what were they called again?  The Beatles, that's it.

We meet Paul and George fleetingly, it's too early for Ringo, but it's not about The Beetles, it's about John as a teenager and the relationships in his life which probably had a massive influence on his music and choice of instrument later.

It is British.  I am a total fan of the quiet portrayal of a character who comes alive in an authentic setting.   The attention to detail in every frame and set is delicious.  I was enthralled by each room, perfectly constructed to transport us to 1955 Liverpool.  If it was Aunt Mimi's semi detached middle class parlor or the Head master's office it was so good you could almost smell it. 

It's not a new release, it came out last year, but has only just made it to Broadway Cinamatique in Yau Ma Tei click here for  On line Ticket Sales

This is the first movie directed by the artist/photographer Sam Taylor-Wood and she has obviously used her 'eye' in the making of this, I look forward to her next work.

The Help by Katheryn Stockett

 

Enter a vanished world: Jackson, Mississippi, 1962.  Where black maids raise children but aren't trusted not to steal the silver...

That is the tag line for The Help by Katheryn Stockett

A story about coloured maids who are brave enough to trust one white women who wants them to tell her what its really like to work for a white family and look after their children while living in a racially discriminated society.  The stories are collated into a book that the authors cannot openly put their name to because they fear for their security and their lives.  

The backdrop is the civil rights movement where radical new ideas of integration and equality were being forced into the consciousness of the USA by Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks and President Kennedy. 

That was in 1962.

Meanwhile here in 2011 in Hong Kong philipina maids are essential to the economy of the country but they experience discrimination.  They cannot drive, they cannot do any other type of job, they can ONLY be domestic helpers.  Other nationalities can apply for permanent residency after being in Hong Kong for seven years, but not if you are a philipina maid.

The following is from a website called Legal News, Hong Kong Lawyer 

Filipino maid challenges HK legal system over residency laws

January 2011

'A Filipino maid is challenging Hong Kong’s immigration laws in a bid to gain Hong Kong citizenship. Evangeline Banao Vallejos has filed a writ in the Court of First Instance seeking a review of the decision by authorities not to grant her permanent residency status. Vallejos has lived and worked in Hong Kong as a domestic helper for
24 years. Under Hong Kong law, non-Chinese people are entitled to permanent residency if they have ‘ordinarily resided’ in Hong Kong for a continuous period of seven years. However, the Immigration Ordinance (Cap 115) specifically excludes foreign domestic helpers from being treated as being ‘ordinarily’ resident. A human rights law firm, which is acting for Vallejos, argued that this section of the law is discriminatory and contrary to Art 24 of the Basic Law. If the challenge – on the grounds that the policy is unconstitutional under the Basic Law – is successful, 250,000 domestic helpers could apply for permanent residency once they have been in the city for seven years continuously'

 

Philippines Hails Landmark Maids Treaty

 

UPDATE  2nd October, 2011

 

Hong Kong Maid wins right to apply for permanent resident status.

Fish Maw and Sea Cucumber - Weird Chinese Food

Fish Maw Wikipedia say  (swim bladder, gas bladder, air bladder of a fish)

The Menu Madam

I love reading menus.  Its all  part of a good night out.  It is a most satisfactory experience and I have a great sense of satisfaction when the decision has been made and the order is in.  It means that I have carefully considered every dish on offer and chosen the best one, the one I am in the mood for.

Be Adventurous why don't you?

It was put to me recently that I should put myself in a situation of trying food that I would not normally try.  'What on earth for?' was my reply.  I know I have lived in Hong Kong for ten years and I also know that in my heart I am a roast beef and Yorkshire pudding kind of girl. 

I know what I like.

Ordering Skills

But I was cajoled and coerced into trying something a little bit different this evening.  It was actually built up over a week when the words fish maw and (It is not a vegetable, more like a slug) sea cucumber, fungus and pork intestines were banded around willy nilly.  This was all a sneaky underhand plan to make me feel boring, unadventurous and inadequate in my menu browsing and ordering skills.  Quite offensive really but the tactic worked.

Bush Tucker Challenge

By the time I sat down in the Chinese Restaurant at the HKUST  I was bigged up to order the weirdest stuff on the menu, in fact I was looking forward to the challenge.  I thought it of it like  Fear Factor or a Bush Tucker Challenge (see I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here) and so after some banter and a sharing of reading glasses Failing eyesight blog (I always have at least one pair on the table these days) the order was placed:-

fillet of groupa in an orange dressing

scallops with lily bulbs

fish maw with sea cucumber

lotus, black fungus with honey beans

and then just in case we really couldn't put any of that to our lips we also had:-

sweet & sour pork

fried rice with chicken and ginger

You want WHAT?

I was watching the waiter's face for signs of surprise, perhaps he would challenge us politely, carefully suggesting that we had made some culinary mistake because it's not what us folk usually order.  It wasn't to be, and why should he be in any way doubtful that we wouldn't like it.  Hundreds of other people order this stuff every Friday night. 

It all arrived and was placed in the middle of the table for a shared experience, as all Chinese food is.  No one gets a whole dish  to themselves that is just not cricket.  Everyone gets a taste of everything.  It the way things are done.  

Where is your napkin!

I saw the sea cucumber lurking among the fish maw and went for it.  Stabbing a piece with my chopsticks and carefully transporting the slippery little sucker to my plate.  But it jumped!  It left my chop stick grasp and landed in my lap covering my beige trousers in soy sauce and a greasy mark over both legs and on the crutch area.  Damn! 

Offensive or not?

Eventually it made it to my mouth and so did the fish maw.  To be frank, sea cucumber is just weird.  This is a technical term in the foodie world.  I detected no flavour apart from the oil and soy sauce it had been cooked in so it was not offensive but I hated the jelly-like texture.  As I chewed it just broke up into smaller jelly-like lumps in my mouth but never melted away like say a raspberry jelly does.  The fish maw, see picture above,  on the other hand was ok, not fishy.  I had quite a few bits of it and now I have identified it I could now spot it at the local supermarket and purchase it for my own cooking (but I won't!).

The groupa was great and the orange dressing a delight. 

lotus root

Lotus with black fungus and honey bean - quite nice although no distinguishable taste, it is the a textural difference between the ingredients which is to be appreciated.

cooked black fungus

Lost in Translation

Now don't be put off by the name.  Fungus is merely a name for mushrooms and I guess that in translation this type of mushroom becomes fungus, after all that is what mushrooms are.  This translation just doesn't sound too appetizing does it?  Don't be frightened, try it!

Once the plates were cleared away (there was plenty of sea cucumber left for a doggy bag although I declined the offer - funny that?)

The obvious sequence of events leads us to dessert and the more weird stuff on the menu was just crying out to be tasted:-

Wolf berry and osmanthus jelly and

glutinous dark pudding with coconut

wolf or goji berry

Osmanthus dried flower

Have you got jam rolly polly and custard?

This turned out to be lumps of plain gelatin with a few bits of dried flower (can be used as tea) and chopped up wolf berry and sugar.  Nothing of any significance.  Is it that the Chinese just don't do puddings?  For sure the cake in these parts is totally tasteless unless you happened to like synthetic cream and sponge.  The glutinous dark pudding with coconut had a nice light flavour and was the texture of a mouse although brought back vivid memories of Angel Delight.

Not much gagging

So to sum up the array of flavours, textures and tastes delivered to our table during the evening were stimulating, interesting and - well to be honest - Chinese food flavour.  It is all much of a muchness whatever the main ingredients are the cooking process (wok with soy sauce) is much the same for nearly every dish.  On a more positive note  there were no real retching or gag moments as I had imagined may happen.  That would have been the worst case scenario and apart from the sea cucumber on the trousers  it was actually rather pleasant and has opened my mind to, perhaps one day may be soon, ordering at least one dish I haven't tried before next time I find myself in a Chinese restaurant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coronation Street

I have fallen off the wagon and am now back in the routine of watching Coronation Street on a week day daily basis.  I never thought it would catch me again having weened myself off it ten years ago.  But Granada TV is now a channel on offer on Now TV in Hong Kong with a 6.30am and a 6.30pm viewing every day.  On the weekend there is an omnibus edition on Sundays although I do avoid watching it then.  Oh! what am I saying?  I watch it then, sometimes, too!

Steve MacDonald

Quite a bit has changed over a decade and the Hong Kong viewing is about three years behind the real life happening now UK viewings.  But it doesn't matter a jot to me because I haven't seen anything.  Obviously I know there was a tram crash to mark the Ken Barlow 50th year in the longest running soap in the world, but I actually don't know who survived and who was snubbed out then.

So it doesn't matter.  I know I can google it all but what's the fun in that?  Plus it doesn't involve much concentration.  It is possible to peel potatoes, chop onions, answer the phone, shave legs or carry out other slightly more demanding intellectual activities such as writing blogs.

Liz MacDonald

So this is what is happening now, deep breath, brace yourself :-

Liz MacDonald is the landlady of the Rovers Return and is married to Vernon (not Jim so she is).  Steve lives in the Rovers with her and is with a smart woman who is the sister of Liam who is married to Maria who has just lost a baby and Liam's sister in law is Carla who is a widow so Liam's brother died (don't ask) and she lives with a Scottish bloke who works away and is rich so while he's away Carla flirts madly with Liam and it drives Maria bonkers.  Now Maria is staying with Audrey who has just been in contact with Gail's dad after 50 years and he didn't even know he had a daughter and was well upset and now Gail wants to get in touch but Audrey is not bothered although it upsets Bill who she lives with.  David is in jail for pushing his mother, Gail, down the stairs and she has forgiven him but why lord only knows and Sarah and Bethany are in Italy with the Canadian bloke who purports to be Gail's brother although how Audrey ever explained that one I don't know.  Roy is running Roy's Rolls and phones Hayley in Africa but I haven't worked out why she is there.

Roy Cropper

Our ever favourite Jack Duckworth is a widower, Vera has died. It was SO sad.  Now his stupid grandson Paul has set fire to Leanne Battersby's Italian restaurant on purpose for the insurance but then because Leanne would'nt be his girlfriend he has confessed to arson - stupid.  Although it seems like Leanne got away with it.  Jack is well pissed off with Paul who he says is his father's son (we all hated Terry).

Leanne Battersby

So that is a potted history of the story so far and you know it is of little consequence if you don't follow it or if you missed 10 years worth of programmes because you can soon pick it up and if you need a little background I can always fill you in and pre 2000 I consider myself a Platinum level expert in Corrie.

 

Memories of King Kowloon - Exhibition TaiKoo Place

 


  Exhibition - 20th April - 31st May 2011  10am - 8pm

  Venue - ArtisTree  1/F Cornwall House, TaiKoo Place    FREE ADMISSION

  Nearest MTR  Quarry Bay

This History behind the man

This exhibition is a well thought out informative history of one of Hong Kong's most loved graffiti artists. Long before Banksy had even cut his first stencil Tsang Tsou-choi was using traditional Chinese calligraphy, with ink and a paint brush, to write his message on public spaces for the world to read.   Of course being unable to read Chinese the message, up until now, has been lost on me. 

Royal Blood

Now that the exhibition has enlightened me I know that he thought himself the rightful royal ruler of the Kowloon peninsula and his messages demanded he should be given total rule of all of Kowloon.  He objected to Elizabeth 1 being the colonial ruler so his first messages were addressed to her.  After the handover things didn't go quite as he expected and so he had to continue painting his messages for all to see.  After 1997 they were aimed at the Chinese government and he continued to claim that he was in fact the King of Kowloon.  He was still waiting for tax to be paid to him from Donald Tsang upon his death.  Tsang never replied to his tax demand which was painted on a wall in Kowloon!

It is estimated that over 51 years of scribbling in 80 locations over Hong Kong he generated 55,845 pieces of work and used 1,170 litres of ink. 

The Exhibition

The rooms are darkened with well lit exhibits not only of his work, of which there is miles, but of various artifacts from his life that have been preserved for posterity.  Some quite mundane memorabilia such as old felt tip pens and empty ink bottles claimed to belong to the King.  G.O.D. now uses some of his ideas and sells them as trendy items in their shops.  They have an alarm clock and a t-shirt adorned with the Kings calligraphy, now hot fashion items.  Buy now while stocks last!

Space Invader

During his lifetime his fame spread around the world and he was visited by Space Invader - graffiti artist , a famous American graffiti artist who placed one of his tile designs on the wall of the old folks home where he lived.  This has now been removed and is carefully displayed.  I am reliably informed this is worth thousands these days.

Local Talent

Students from local schools have used King Kowloon as inspiration for their own work and this is also on display and well worth a look.  Who says Hong Kong students cannot be creative? 

 

 

Another Year directed by Mike Leigh

THE MIKE LEIGH TECHNIQUE

I love the fact that Mike Leigh doesn't let the actors of his films have a script and the fact that he makes them develop the character themselves.  He sits them down and asks them a zillion questions about the character they will be, from what sort of breakfast did you eat as a child and how did you go to school to how you feel about your boss and how did you sleep last night.  Until the actor becomes the font of all knowledge for their character and will 'live' their character throughout their stint playing them.  Abigail's Party and Nuts in May are my favourites probably because Alison Steadman is in both of them.

BRITISH FILM IN HONG KONG

I look out for new work from Leigh and have been looking forward to seeing Another Year.  Eventually it came to Hong Kong after being released in the UK last year.  I am always keen to watch British films and adore the ordinariness of their portrayal of real life in all its mundane ways much more than the Hollywood razzmatazz. 

ANOTHER YEAR - REVIEW

World Exclusive Trailer - The Guardian

Another Year shows us the lives of Gerri and Tom, a middle-aged couple nearing retirement, and their year as the seasons change on their allotment.  Tom is a geologist and Gerri is a counsellor.  They are middle class and very comfortable in their cozy modern house and I want to tell you they have an Aga but I am not 100% sure, for arguments sake let's believe they do.  But the story is not really about them, its about their long  term friends Mary, a desperately sad and lonely woman who Gerri works with and Ken, Tom's old friend who is overweight and unhealthy with a potential drink problem.  The other character who is also taken into the kitchen (with Aga)  is Tom's brother who comes to stay after the death of his wife.

MARY

These three people are featured around the table of Gerri and Tom at various times during the year and their unhappiness is palpable. They are all in need of love and care at a time in their lives when none of them have a partner for various reasons.  Mary, in particular, is appealing to the couple for support and a slice of security in her shambolic life.  There is no doubt that Lesley Manville was utterly brilliant working in the Mike Leigh style and the audience can feel nothing but sympathy for her.

SUCH A REVOLTING COUPLE

I found the main characters of Tom and Gerri to be the most revolting  people.  They didn't entertain their friends, they merely  tolerated them.  They did not help them in any way apart  from feeding them and offering copious glasses of wine which was probably the last thing they needed.  Looking down their noses at their sad and lonely friends and just allowing them to get deeper into a  mire of self pity and mental health problems.   Gerri is the worst counsellor in the world and Tom has probably given up caring about his profession a long time ago given that retirement and more time on his allotment is looming. His sensitivity is actually cold and fake.

ORDINARILY BRITISH

It is a beautifully shot film and is British in its ordinariness, in a good way.  But I was so depressed at their lack of real care for their friends and I became more and more irritated by their superior stance of 'we are happy and you are not' attitude I wanted to take Mary and Ken and genuinely help them.  Really listen to their problems and really be supportive instead of a half arsed invitation for dinner during which nothing is really said and nothing is really changed.

 

 

The Hong Kong Literary Festival 2011 Benjamin Zephaniah

 

Benjamin Zephaniah

AN AUDIENCE WITH BEN PLUS HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN

In previous years I have seen authors talk about how they write and what they do to produce a book worthy of publication.  I am always interested in such a process having got to chapter seven of my own masterpiece but, so far, cannot find the wherewithal to continue to the end.  Authors sit in rooms with computers and write.  They usually work alone and so for the majority being in front of a large audience is not a natural environment.  Some can talk and be interesting, some can tell a story as well as write it, the opposite is sometimes, unfortunately true.  Some are not interesting and can't tell a story apart from when they are in their own room silently producing the written word.

A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

Benjamin Zephaniah is not soley a writer.  He is a performer.  Having an audience with him (and a few hundred school children) at this years literary festival was a wonderful experience.  His poetry is funny and accessable with a serious message.

I used to think nurses were women

I used to think police were all men

I used to think poets were boring

until I became one of them

 

You see what I mean?  Four lines, quite simple and straight forward but worthy of an analytical essay about the deeper meaning relating to feminism, class and stereotypical judgements in a post colonial voice.

A FUNNY MAN WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE

Zephaniah is funny.  He doesn't take himself seriously but he does take the world seriously.  His work carries a message about equality and justice for all, including turkeys.  He talks of racism and sexism and even vegatarinism.  The children were more than satisfied by his answers to their questions about what kind of car he drives to his twin sister's name and he deflected any questions about his dreadlocks, obviously he gets that a lot!

At 53 he is looking good.  I wonder if its being a rasta, being a vegan or being a kung fu expert?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH  OBE?

He was awarded an OBE but declined to accept it.  Here is the poem about that time.

 

Smart big awards and prize money
Is killing off black poetry
It's not censors or dictators that are cutting up our art.
The lure of meeting royalty
And touching high society
Is damping creativity and eating at our heart.

The ancestors would turn in graves
Those poor black folk that once were slaves would wonder
How our souls were sold
And check our strategies,
The empire strikes back and waves
Tamed warriors bow on parades
When they have done what they've been told
They get their OBE's.

Don't take my word, go check the verse
Cause every laureate gets worse
A family that you cannot fault as muse will mess your mind,
And yeah, you may fatten your purse
And surely they will check you first when subjects need to be amused
With paid for prose and rhymes.

Take your prize, now write more,
Faster,
Fuck the truth
Now you're an actor do not fault your benefactor
Write, publish and review,
You look like a dreadlocks Rasta,
You look like a ghetto blaster,
But you can't diss your paymaster
And bite the hand that feeds you.

What happened to the verse of fire
Cursing cool the empire
What happened to the soul rebel that Marley had in mind,
This bloodstained, stolen empire rewards you and you conspire,
(Yes Marley said that time will tell)
Now look they've gone and joined.

We keep getting this beating
It's bad history repeating
It reminds me of those capitalists that say
'Look you have a choice,'
It's sick and self-defeating if our dispossessed keep weeping
And we give these awards meaning
But we end up with no voice.

 

 

 

Putting it Together The Fringe Club, Hong Kong

Golden Voice Entertainment...

The cast of Putting it Together

GOLDEN VOICE

Sounds smooth doesn't it?  It just rolls off the tongue.  Say it with me "Golden Voice Entertainment" . Try again and this time think Barbara Streisand. All together - One, two, three "Golden Voice Entertainment"  Lovely isn't it?

DIRECTOR - FRINGE CLUB, HONG KONG

Michael Sharmon is the artistic director of Golden Voice Entertainment and it is actually true.  He does have a golden voice and so do the cast of Putting it Together, a Stephen Sondheim review performed at The Fringe Club in February. Once home and tucked up in bed I did a bit of googling (sounds a bit personal doesn't it?) to find that the story was creatively linked together based on previously existing songs from a number of different Sondheim musicals.  Stone me!  They all fitted together seamlessly to form a new story in its own right.  How clever. 

MUSIC

The Fringe Club is a very suitable venue for intimate shows like this with just 4 main characters up close and personal allowing us to see and feel their emotions but not allowing us to think about the uncomfortable seats.  The music was provided by two extremely experienced and talented musicians, Peter Lally on piano and Peter Scherr on double bass - terrific!  They were positioned at the back of the stage so were on view throughout.

JACQUELINE GOURLAY GRANT

The star was undoubtedly Jacqueline Gourlay Grant who played "The Wife" as well as being Musical Director.  What a woman!  I am sure that she has had a hand in many shows in Hong Kong and is a magical force on stage.  And by the way Jacqueline, great jacket.

WHAT'S NEXT?

Looking forward to the next one and thanks again to Michael Sharmon and the whole cast who take time to provide the community with such a tremendously high standard of local entertainment.  Beats that huge atmosphereless hall at the airport.

 

 

 

Educating Rita (Lesley)

Julie Walters and Michael Caine 

Educating Rita

McAulay Studio,

Wan Chai

Hong Kong

26th February, 2011

Rita - Kim Haslam

Frank - Adam Harris

THE HONG KONG CAST

Educating Rita was performed at the McAulay Studio in Wan Chai with Adam Harris as Frank, the consistently inebriated professor who is charged with Rita, a working class girl with big ideas.  Rita, played by Kim Haslam, is a hairdresser who has signed up with The Open University to get herself an education.  Frank sets about teaching literary criticism to someone with no previous knowledge and we witness the change in Rita as education starts to work.

CONVINCING DRUNKENESS

The performance of both actors, the only people on the stage during the two acts, was truly excellent from the very convincing drunkenness to the Liverpudlian accent to the dusty books on the shelves and the illusion of the window to outside.

HAIR CUT SIR?

Adam's usual hairstyle fitted the part of geriatric hippie exactly and not wanting to be rude I won't mention the beard. But I'll take a risk just in case it was grown for this part, I'm sure he won't mind if I suggest that clean shaven, shorter hair would indeed take ten years off him!

AM I RITA?

I can really relate to Rita.  I think I am her.  You see I am an Open University product but was much older than 26 before it dawned on me that getting a degree would open some doors.  No one ever burnt my books or told me to stop though, everyone was extremely supportive and I couldn't have done it without the help of my family.

OPEN UNIVERSITY

But I wonder if an education is really the way forward these days, perhaps it's not? A degree is common place and in the UK equals a debt with no guarantee of a job.  My own children are heading that way and as much as I want them to have the experience of being there and experiencing 'life' as opposed to an Open University course where you study at home being extremely self disciplined and swotty (well I was!) the chance of a job at the end seems remote in the present economic climate.

MASTERS DEGREE - IS IT WISE?

So with this in mind I have quite rashly signed up to do a Masters Degree with, you've guessed it, The Open University.  I am into my third assignment and so far have found it excruciatingly boring mind numbingly dull and sleep inducing.  My scores are only just acceptable and there are periods of time when I am forced to say no to invitations out because I have to do my reading or essay writing.

Why? Why? Why?

IF SHE CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T I?

Right now I am doubting my ability to get through this Open University course.  Last night while watching Educating Rita I found myself wondering why it is so difficult for me, after all I have no alcoholic tutor or any pressure to have a baby, no one has ever burnt my assignments and I don't have a suicidal flatmate.  Get a grip Lesley!

 

The Final 9 - American Idol Season 9 - Didi goes home

It should have been Tim Urban.

I sound like a jilted lover by proxy!  But you see Didi is on my 'LIST'.  MY LIST of potential finalists was carefully selected during the audition rounds and includes Andrew Garcia, Crystal Bowersox, Michael Lynche and it used to include Didi Benami but after America voted Didi went home last night.

Everyone can see, hear and even smell that Tim Urban is struggling to perform anything.  He has a weak voice.  Perhaps it's the hair that keeps the votes coming in?  He does nothing for me, I am not a fan of hair!   After Didi's demise the voice of God AKA Simon did not decide to give her a second chance so off she goes.   It must be next week that we wave goodbye to Tim's floppy fringe?

So now my list is:-

Andrew Garcia

Crystal Bowersox

Michael Lynche

Obviously I wish I had Siobhan Magnus on there as she is fab and groovy, if not a bit screamy, but we all love a good scream on a Wednesday night don't we?

 

 

 

The Ghost of Neil Diamond by David Milnes

The Ghost of Neil Diamond by David Milnes is a cracking read.  Milnes, who lived and worked in Hong Kong for many years as Head of English at King George V, is now retired and living in Spain, where I imagine him sitting in his casa sipping red wine while constructing another plot line.  I was forwarded a link to Amazon that took me to an extract from chapter one.  This short snippet was enough to make me buy the book and I highly recommend it. 

 

You don't need to know Hong Kong and you don't need to be a Neil Diamond fan to identify with the protagonist and smell Chun Kin Mansions.

It all begins in a karaoke bar where Neil Atherton impresses the crowd with his  'Reason to Believe'.  He is spotted by a not-so-honest agent who gives him his card, obviously, this is Hong Kong.   As he a male who finds themselves in Hong Kong with not contract and a richer and more successful wife,  his time is spent thinking about unfulfilled dreams and ambitions.  Our main character decides to try his hand at impersonating Neil Diamond thus, he imagines, he will find fame and fortune, perhaps happiness.  His wife is appalled by this mid-life crisis and gives him money to leave Hong Kong and her.

He takes her money but doesn't leave.  As he stops caring what she thinks of him and soon finds out she has quickly found a replacement, he takes risk and after risk to get into the club scene as the best Neil Diamond impersonator this side of...well... Neil Diamond I suppose.  He becomes very familiar with ChunKing Mansions and McDonald's as well as the slippery Chinese agent. 

It made me laugh.

I found myself mulling over the characters in this book even when I wasn't reading it.  I don't know if Mr Milnes intended it to be a film but as I read it I could visualize it and, appointing myself as casting director, and spiritually auditioned mid-forty year old males to play Neil.

Give it a go why don't you?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0955650011/ref=sib_rdr_dp

Michael Jackson RIP 1958-2009

 

I was utterly shocked at the news of Michael Jackson's death.  It is so incredibly sad that a man with so much talent is no longer among us.  Now we have speculation about when and where the funeral will be, who will his estate be left to, does he actually have anything to leave or is he in debt.  There are so many questions about his personal doctor and then there's the children and ex-wife...will we ever get to know the true story...

My cynical side has real doubts about whether anyone really cared about Michael Jackson.  Did anyone care enough about him while he was alive to guide him on a less self destructive route?  Was there a single person in his employ or in his family who was close enough to him to take him to one side and say 'Enough already Michael'?  Was the vast fortune just too much for one person to handle and remain sane?  I don't think so.  The music industry took it's pound of flesh and much much more from Michael Jackson and then sat back to watch him implode.  Yes, he made millions and was rewarded for his work but is a life worth that?

I am really concerned that the entertainment industry in general just do not do enough for their artists.  There are too many incidences of death through drug overdoses where actors or singers have been seen to be successful, become famous and then felt the pressure of living a life in the public eye.  They crack.  They turn to drugs to help them cope. It seems accepted in those circles.  It seems normal.  If they are lucky they survive their addiction but are no doubt damaged by the experience.  If we are not reading about an inevitable divorce we are told of a new patient in The Priory.

I think it should be compulsory for all record labels to provide a psychologist for 24 hour consultation to all up-and-coming recording artists to help them cope with a) earning vast amounts of cash b) knowing what to do with it and c) convincing them that mind altering substances are NO  GOOD!

I could add a further suggestion which would involve not actually giving the artist so much cash in the first place and, therefore, reducing the cost of Cd's, concert tickets and eliminating all tacky merchandising from the planet.  I ask the question - Is pop music really worth millions and should individuals such as Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Robbie Williams or Amy Winehouse be let loose with wads of cash to squander on drugs and fast living when that money could be given to me - whoops - I mean, given to reducing third world debt and promoting world peace.

I can feel a Monty Python sketch coming on.  Money doesn't buy you happiness.

The Chippy, Pottinger Street, Hong Kong

The Chippy, a truly British experience.

www.chippy.com

Cultural Holiday

The summer holidays are approaching and soon I will be visiting Blighty for a reminder of the culture I am deprived of.  I haven't been home for a couple of years now so the lure of midget gems, fresh Cadbury's chocolate and cream cakes with real cream in them is becoming intense.  The food hall at Marks and Spencer's and all those supermarkets with aisles big enough for 2 trolleys to pass each other with a vast amount of choice will be so lovely. 

Fish, Chips, Mushy Peas, Bread and Butter, Mug of Tea

Yesterday as a pre holiday treat we went to eat at The Chippy.  It is exactly what you imagine.  It's a chip shop.  A very British chip shop right in Central Hong Kong.  They have recreated the grease and smell of a typical fish and chip shop with a menu that wouldn't be out of place in any town in the UK.  Cod, chips, mushy peas a mug (yes a mug) of tea (Tetleys) and a slice of white bread and butter.   Fish cakes, steak and kidney pie, chips and peas and then the deserts  deep fried Mars bar.  They also offer the full all day English breakfast with black pudding. 

Cholestral Levels

It is all bad but all good on the same place.  I just knew that grease was sticking to my arteries as I was savoring the scrumptious crispy batter on my lovely white flakes of deep fried cod and I knew the butter melting through the white slice as the heat of the chips warmed up the bread was raising my cholesterol levels but Lord I enjoyed it.  The big mug of tea washed all the fat away and left me feeling cleansed yet belt loosening full.

Posh Chips

The decor was, obviously, white tiles with a touch of seaside blue dado, a wall of blackboard for the menu, rickety wooden tables all stocked with the condiments you expect.  HP Brown Sauce, Heinz Tomato sauce, salt and yes you've guessed it - vinegar.  The glass counter had pickled onions and pickled eggs on offer in large glass jars.  The only pretentious features of The Chippy in Hong Kong, which you don't often get in England, is the reading material provided for customers - The Sunday Times Magazine.   The background music was BBC Radio 2 live, via the internet. All a bit posh frankly but it's what us expats expect these days!

Home Sweet Home

The whole experience made us feel comfortable and at home.  The only bad thing was knowing we were in Central and had to travel an hour back to the tranquility of Sai Kung in rush hour.  Once our clothes are washed and the smell of deep fried fat is removed we'll be fine.

 I'll be running tonight to work off those calories.

They're Happy Because

They Eat Chips

Gig Experience - Elton John in Hong Kong

Elton now

Elton John performed in Hong Kong on 20th May and I witnessed it.  A jolly good showman he is too.

Elton then

At almost 1am (Yes I know, shocking isn't it?) I got into bed - this was a TUESDAY night with work the next day.  Horror of horrors I broke my routine and didn't have my Ovaltine before I was tucked up with a good book (reading glasses compulsory these days) by 10pm.  It must be a sign of old age that going out to see a 61 year old perform, him seated at his piano and me seated for 90% of the time, apart from Crocodile Rock, obviously, had a dramatic affect.  I was tired for 2 days after the event and it wasn't as if I was on the Chardonnay.

Bay City Rollers

My experience of gigs has really changed over the years and it all started with the Bay City Rollers in 1974.  When I got older and the Bay City Rollers became so uncool I melted their LPs on the fire and for years denied ever even liking them.  I truly wanted to have been ultra cool and been able to tell stories of the time I went to see David Bowie at Newcastle City Hall in 1974.  My attempt at getting a ticket involved saving up the ticket money and buying a postal order, for the value of five pounds I think, from the Post Office.  Dutifully sending it off to the City Hall only to have it returned it a week later stamped 'Sold Out'.  Newcastle was over an hour away on the bus and I couldn't afford the bus fare and the ticket.  Life is cruel sometimes.

The Globe Theatre Stockton on Tees

I have since got over the shame of The Rollers gig and can now recount proudly how I spent the whole time screaming from the circle balcony "Eric!" and dropping to my knees in a pre pubescent fake faint every time I imagined he glanced up at me.  No one else near by - ME!  And how when the gig was over me and my mates were involved in a kerfuffle outside the stage door at The Globe Theater, Stockton-on-Tees behind a line of policemen who did a sterling job at keeping us back by linking their arms and squashing us against the wall until we screamed even more.

I got home exhausted but thrilled by the experience and told my parents how fantastic it was and how much I screamed for Eric.  They laughed themselves silly about it for weeks and took the mickey out of me mercilessly!

1974 was a good year

I also saw Alvin Stardust and David Essex at the same venue circa November 1974 and have the ticket stubs somewhere to prove it.

Alvin  Stardust          David Essex

Gary Glitter

As luck would have it I was also a big Gary Glitter fan and have seen him five times.  Those gigs have involved being squashed up against the stage at St. George's Hall in Bradford trying not to spill my drink avoiding other people's mad dancing, fag ends and spilt beer while three lads sitting on each other's shoulders looked like they would topple over on to the crowd at any minute.   Health and safety wasn't an issue.  Nowadays I just keep quiet about those Christmas concerts as old Gazza is locked up safely somewhere in Cambodia.

Peter Noon                  Lonnie Donagan

My first LP was The Hits of Lonnie Donegan and my first single was Herman's Hermits Something is Happening.  I was so misguided.

Sex Pistols           Johnny Rotten

Rock Garden Middlesborough

My brother was much cooler than me.  In the late 70's he was a punk and went off to see unknown bands at The Rock Gardens in Middlesborough with his inky black hair and his PVC trousers.  He saw Debbie Harry, The Buzzcocks and the Sex Pistols to name a few, and came home smelling of beer and fags with remnants of spit on his t-shirt.  His record collection is now worth something while my Osmonds and Steeleye Span LPs have been wrapped in brown paper and disposed of years ago.

Gigs for Oldies

Gigs these days are so much more orderly.  No pushing to get to the front, hardly any screaming and certainly no smoking.  You can get home smelling almost fresh out of the shower after a well ordered night out.  Or - is it just that the last few people I have seen have all been over 60 in Hong Kong.  I must write a note to myself to go and see someone at least younger than me and in the charts now.

After a quick search I find that young slip of a thing - Madonna has been number one for a few weeks...