Lesley in Hong Kong

Dialogue in the Dark

http://www.dialogue-experience.com.hk/web/subpage.php?mid=6

 

Address: Shop 215, 2/F, Nob Hill Square, 8 King Lai Path, Mei Foo, Kowloon
Telephone: 2310 0833 (General) / 2891 0438 (Group Booking) / 2310 8610 (Birthday in the Dark / Special event)

 

Mei Foo MTR Exit C - 5 -7 minutes walk

 

Online Booking

I pre booked an experiential tour in the dark for 22 people.  Their website booking system was a little too restricting for my dates and times but after some very helpful email exchanges I managed to book what I really wanted.

 

This is a very unique experience for adults and children alike.  You'll be outside of your comfort zone and that is something we should all do from time to time.   The basic point of the tour is to experience what it's like to navigate yourself around a busy city (Hong Kong) and all the challenges that involves as a visually impaired person using a white stick.

 

90 Minutes in the Dark

After some instruction about how to hold a white stick, in small groups of eight, we were lead by our visually impaired guide for 90 minutes in complete darkness.  When I say dark, I mean complete and utter blackness for the whole time.  There was no time that my eyes made an adjustment to the environment.  There was no time that I had any idea what the environment looked like or where my guide was.  Although I knew I was with seven other people, there was no time I knew how many where in front or behind me. However, our guide used his voice in the most comforting way.  He gave clear instructions about which direction to walk and when.  

 

The Route

The route took us through various places which we had to feel with our feet, hands and stick as we walked slowly, with trepidation, through the space.    Within the dark dark space a recreation of a wooded area with leaves to feel and a gravel floor to a street scene and even boarding a ferry has been constructed to give sighted people the disarming experience of beginning to know what it's like to be without the sense of sight.   I say beginning to know, because I feel sure that living without sight has many more restrictions than the 90 minutes can ever tell us, but at the same time gave our group an appreciation of the skills required.   It also gave us an idea that our guide was much much more perceptive in the dark than any of us.  He was so aware of us and where we were, remembering our names and guiding, directing and giving us confidence to know where to go, we began to think he was actually wearing night vision goggles.   HE WASN'T.  

 

Back in the Light

Once we were back out into the light and our white sticks returned is when we could see our guide for the first time.   He has been visually impaired since birth.  It was most humbling to meet him and have the opportunity of having a Q&A session with him.  We also had a go at writing braille and using a special plastic device to work out which bank note is which.   There are many gadgets and techniques to help visually impaired people to cope in many different areas of life.

 

Dialogue in the Dark offers many options where, if you are brave enough, you can celebrate your  birthday with  a party in the dark and musical concerts in the dark.   Instruction can be in English or Cantonese. 

 

 

 

 

Remember when we spoke on the telephone?

When I was 11 I had a birthday party at my house.  I know this because I have photographic evidence of all the girls in my class sitting our settee.

When I was 16 I had a party at my house when all the girls and boys came.  I have no photographic evidence of this but it did happen.  It had all the elements of bad behaviour like any good 16th birthday celebration should.  The next day there were a few tears and voices raised in anger but I'm secretly proud that the neighbours were disturbed, the tropical fish had to suffer cider in their tank, some guests were in rooms they really shouldn't have been in and there was ash and spillages associated with under age drinking.

When I was 18 I had a bus load of people visit The Beer Keller in Newcastle (won the fancy knicker competition and was offered a job as a go-go dancer) who all paid towards the bus, had a good time at The Beer Keller, got back on the bus at the agreed departure time and all came home again. There is photographic evidence of this but it's not for general release.

The way that these parties were organised was through speaking to the people I wanted to invite. Those people were the people I wanted to come.  A fairly simple yet effective method with no agenda other than to have fun.  It went a bit like this "I'm having a party on  (insert date and time) do you want to come?" and the answer went a bit like this "Yes".  And then, here is best bit, they came to the party and had a good time.  In the run up to the party there was little to no communication necessary and on the day of the party people turned up at the right time at the designated place.  

 If I could not speak to them face to face then the alternative method of communication was over the telephone when a telephone number, which I had written in an address book or I had memorized, was dialed at an appropriate time when I estimated that person to be at home.  The message was conveyed and the response was immediate.

I don't remember a time when someone was doing something more interesting or didn't have time?

Obviously the people I was interacting with were teenagers without the burden of employment or the responsibility of babies or spouses but it seemed a very simple process.  Whereas in this age of smart phones and Facebook the process of inviting someone to anything seems to result in a cornucopia of flakiness and people who are so busy they cannot even reply with a cohesive answer or worst of all remain silent because they want to give the impression they are too busy.  The other message about the the 'silent' part is that it means a rejection but you have to guess that part yourself. 

Before the texting facility there wasn't any need to inform any one that you were on your way a number of times before you arrived , were lost, were running late or had a better offer and were not actually going to turn up as you had originally said.   This was also mostly impossible because once you left your own house you had no access to a phone unless you found a phone box, had the right change and knew the phone number of the person who was having the party.  If the party was not at a place where a phone could be answered none of the progress reports were possible and no one cared any way. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiLaukbxQMs

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFR4PPxp2z8

 

A Facebook event is also a cornucopia for misunderstanding as well as the presumption, by some, that because you have ticked the box indicating that you can't go, you feel the need to write a few sentences about just how much more exciting and interesting your life is that you can't go  to a planned event that someone has spent time planning and taken the time to appreciate you and invite you.

It goes a bit like this

Friend has invited you to an event - Party (date, time place)  

Going   Not Going  May Be

And you need to tick a box.  That is it.  What you are not asked to do is announce to the other invited guests that you can't go because:-

Sorry can't come because we'll be in The Maldives {or any other named luxury holiday destination which will evoke feelings of jealousy} having our best holiday ever in our lives. (sub text - having a better time than we would at your party)

Would love to come but we are so busy right now, you know what it's like?  (sub text  - going to work, coming home, eating and dealing with other stuff that life brings along just like every one else but frankly I can't be arsed and don't like you very much) 

Can I let you know next week? (sub text - I might have a better offer by then so I'm keeping my options open when I can outrageously reject your invitation in favour of someone else's but if their invitation doesn't seem all that good then I'll come to you)

Sorry can't come I have family gathering that day. (sub text  - I always have family stuff to do but I'm telling you this to make you understand that you are lowly on my scale of priorities).

 

In this new texting world some etiquette needs to be followed.  In the same way as good manners were taught to us when we were children, we all need some proper rules and guidelines to follow in the world of cyber communication. We can then teach these to our children who will then be able to operate in the 21st century in the right and proper way.  

Oh hang on!  By the time they grow up and enter the world of work there will be some other new way of communication that we hadn't even thought about and we'll be no further forward....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Macbeth by William Shakespeare - Hong Kong Players Ltd. April 2014

Macbeth by William Shakespeare

Production by Hong Kong Players Ltd

Hong Kong Arts Centre, Mcaulay Studio

2nd - 5th April, 2014

David Mersault - Macbeth, Thane of Glamis

 

Macbeth is one of the most performed Shakespearean tragedies, so I put it to you that going to see it is not about the plot or who dunnit or what happens at the end.  It is about how it is performed.  There is no need to alert any one about a plot spoiler because, well, you know who dies.

The Mcaulay Studio is small, seating only 76, if you all squash up cozy. Being so close to the actors, who are at floor level, the same as the first row, is intimate and a little scary, in a good way.  Perhaps not that good for latecomers who find themselves having to almost say 'Excuse me' to the actors as they attempt to be invisible and find a seat after it has started.  I hope those late comers get their act together in future and manage to be on time like the rest of us!

The set

A completely black minimalist set, with the throne at the centre for the whole performance, two swords hanging at the back and a black box to stand on to show power were the only items on stage.  All entrances and exits were simple with an interesting freeze of action to cross cut to another time and place.  This was an extremely effective technique which moved the plot along without the necessity for physical scene changes.

 

Costume

All characters were dressed in contemporary clothes of black or white with a subtle flash of red to represent all those things that temptress colour can symbolise. Passion, death, blood, anger, danger, war... Their weapons were guns and knives of various sizes.

 

Weird Sisters

The opening scene gave us those three weird sisters who we all love to hate and their presence on stage for much of the performance was wonderful.  Two young ones and one lady of a certain age who played the Punk Witch,  a terrific touch.  They each carried a large pole which they 'banged' on the floor at crutial points.  This was just one of many powerful moments of the performance.  Yes, it made us all jump.   The witches were involved in the death scenes, delivery of letters and phone calls bringing bad news and lead us to believe it was their prophecy and their meddling that made poor old Macbeth do the 'deed' which then brought him enough guilt to fill his mind with those scorpions he speaks of.  Their role stressed the importance of magic and witchcraft making us believe it was their prophecy and spells that made everything go so horribly wrong.

Macbeth

David Mersaultis a talented actor who made us believe it was only him who could see Duncan or Banquo as ghosts.  His portrayal of Macbeth was truly excellent.  The passion between him and Lady Macbeth was evident as well as his weakness and guilt as he deteriorates into a defeated man.  We need to see more of him in the future. 

That bitch (plot spoiler alert)

I like the idea of blaming the witches because I've always felt Lady Macbeth (that bitch) pushed her husband into brutally killing the King while he was asleep in his bed and then, pretended he had no idea how it had happened and then, because he wasn't sleeping too well at night, took it upon himself to arrange for the death of his best friend Banquo and then the wife and young children of Macduff.  While the whole incident filled Mr and Mrs Macbeth with incredible guilt, enough for her to top herself, Macbeth continued, as best he could, in his new King role believing that no man not born of women existed or Burnham Wood could get up and walk.  

Oh how wrong he was!

The young MacDuff and his death scene must get that young man an A* is whatever drama course he is on?

Music and Lights and even smoke 

There was smoke, there was the music of Nick Cave, there was a multi media video showing red blood and skulls.  This all added to the experience and a very unique production of Macbeth.  I did find that the music wasn't faded enough at certain points so the delivery of some crucial lines was lost.  This is a minor point and I do applaud Adam Harris for his dedication and commitment to theatre in Hong Kong.  This was a truly powerful production, full of witchcraft, fight scenes, murder, violence and lots of blood.  Isn't it marvellous that Shakespeare wrote this for an audience in 1606 and those themes and exploration are still a full-on family favourite today.

 

 

 

Swimming

Swim Training - oh no 

Years ago I used to be a good swimmer.  For a while I was part of a team who trained and improved and entered competitions.  In my childhood memory this seems like it was years of intense training, but it probably wasn't,  and that feeling of desperately not wanting to swim another stroke and crying while I was completing the 40th lap (and that was just the warm up) is more pronounced in my memory than any enjoyment of winning a race.

Teaching

I never warmed to competitive swimming but I did go on to be a swimming teacher and teach children and adults to swim.  It is a marvellous moment to see a person going from non swimmer to swimmer and then just get better and better as their confidence kicks in.  I maintain that everyone can swim, I did not actually teach them, they could always do it really.

I spent years being either in the water or on the edge of a pool in charge of other people's children.  I don't want to sound over dramatic here but - this is a life and death situation.  It would be a little awkward to explain to a parent that you started off with a class of 20 and only returned 19 and it was their particular child who...

Follow the Rules

Strict rules had to be set.  No running, no back flips, no spins, no diving in the shallow end, no bombing, no no no no.  All for the ultimate safety of my students and peace of mind of all concerned.  It has been a constant embarrassment for my own children over the years because when being around a swimming pool in the capacity of holiday maker for leisure and not actually on duty as TEACHER, I would find it extremely difficult to not shout WALK or call someone over to 'have a word' about just how dangerous bombing can be if you hit the base of your spine on the pool floor, or go into detail about how severe a neck injury can be...

Swimming Style

The other thing I find hard to leave behind, now that I am not a swimming teacher, is technique.  Of course I don't say anything, but I do look on at struggling swimmers and want to give them the odd tip about how not to look like they are drowning or how to leave the pool feeling they've had a work out but have not swam very far.

Front Crawl

It's all about the breathing.  Statistically* 1 in 10 people are unable to swim with a flat body position, do side breathing whilst simultaneously doing a straight leg kick and move the arms smoothly, breaking the water with the fingers - and repeating this action for a whole length.

Instead there are many versions of front crawl to be seen in every swimming pool.  The worst one being attempting this stroke with the head up at all times whilst thrashing at the water with bent elbows and flailing the head meaninglessly from side to side.   Alternatively its the one where they start with the head down, it looks good for two arm pulls, then the head is lifted forward, an attempt at breathing takes place, the head is moved from side to side, optional snorting noises at this point, before it is placed back down again 

Breaststroke  

It is a fact* that 97.7%* of women are taught to swim this stroke correctly but some how cannot stop themselves from doing it wrong.  They persist in going to default granny-stroke-mode.  The advantage of this is the hair stays dry and breathing can be successfully maintained at a normal resting rate.  They can stroll around a pool using the granny-stroke technique in the same way they can window shop.  It is pointless and there is no result.  The disadvantage is that you look silly and old.  This is a true and tested statistic*.  9 out of 10 teenagers who were asked to rate the swimming technique of their mothers rated it as 'silly' and did not hold back in calling it granny-stroke and, therefore, ladies, it makes you look old.

So instead of looking like a champion

You look like this.

 

Backstroke

Apart from in the correct and proper context ie an Olympic race, it should never be attempted in a public swimming pool unless you want to seriously piss everyone else off.

Butterfly

See backstroke advice.

 

*(I made up the statistics) 

 

 

 

Bag Blog

A Handbag?

I am aware that some people own, yearn and lust over bags, fashion items that cost thousands of dollars.  I know that some people have collections of bags and even have a special room to keep them in.  I am also aware that expensive designer hand bags are part of a clever marketing technique where they are referred to as investment bags.  The trick is to make the buyer believe they are spending money on a product that will hold its value and, therefore, their money is not only safe, it may actually increase in value.   Just a minute while I bite my fist to stifle a cynical laugh.

How much is it (outraged tone)?

 

Old Bag

I am wise (not very rich)  and not in the market for such items of frippery.  I do, however, want a sylish bag to match my outfit, I'm not a total slob, but I know from experince that any bag will become bashed and tatty with bits of old lipstick, pen and gum stuck to the inside.  I know that it will get to the point where you just need a new bag rather than clean out the old one.  So I don't want any bag to have cost so much that I'm afraid to take it out of its dust cover (I learnt about dust covers from reading the Bag and Accessories Section of a second hand items for sale website where all the bags for sale are cheaper than their purchase price).  I want a useable, useful bag and if it's bought from Top Shop, Temple Street Ladies Market or Primarni, I do not really care but what I don't want is a bloody ruck sack/back pack.

That ruck sack does not match your outfit!

Nylon ruck sacks with many straps and pockets and secret features are not meant to be matched with any city/work outfit for any female person.  Their dangling straps and clicky plastic fastenings are meant for sport/outdoor getting wet and dirty activities.  Just because they may be practical for carrying a bunch of stuff in doesn't mean you have to succumb to using one in the street.  

Ugly Ruck Sack/Back Pack - NO NO NO!

 

Females you have been told.  I have been blunt I know - but I feel it needed to be said.

Now for you men.

Ruck Sacks for men - also wrong

The subject of a man bag is directly associated with sexuality. Apparantly if you carry a well made leather bag and NOT a badly designed nylon ruck sack  for your 'stuff'  then your masculinity is questioned.  The more scruffy, smelly and the more dangling straps (what are they for?) on the ugly nylon ruck sack means it is more manly.  What on earth does a man need to carry anyway, money and keys.  That is it - so what's with the bag?

A style sin

Bulging in the trouser area

The other very poor alternative for carrying stuff for men is the trouser pocket.  Let me be blunt here too.  Bulging pockets are not in any way attractive.  I know there is a joke there (is that a canoe in your pocket or are you....finish the rest yourself) but having a phone shaped bulge on your thigh is unsightly.

unslightly bulge.

Get yourself a nice, stylish bag preferably made of leather and essentially not one made of brightly coloured nylon with adjustably shoulder straps. NB A ruck sack is allowed if you are hiking or doing any other outdoor physical activity.  Other than that - strictly - NO.   And just to be clear the holdall bearing the brand name of a sports manufacturer is also a bit crap.  

Here are some ideas

   Nice bag and men respectively. 

 

                                                 Bag with style  

 

 

TEDx Hong Kong ED - School's Out

TEDx HongKong - ED

Saturday 15th June 2013 10am - 4pm

633 Kings Road, Quarry Bay, Hong Kong

 

Website for more information  click here

Ideas Worth Spreading

'The fact is that given the challenges we face, education doesn’t need to be reformed — it needs to be transformed'

-Sir Ken Robinson

I discovered TED Talks on You Tube a few years ago and I use it from time to time in my classes.  Sometimes I come across one that really hits the spot of a particular concept I want to explain and sometimes they are just so damn interesting I bring them into my classroom to inspire my students. The point is that speakers on TED Talks can present an idea so much better than I can.

For instance I grew weary of listening and watching my students do presentations locked in the the restricting mind numbing Microsoft world that is PowerPoint.  I decided to have a power point free year.  I showed them all the TED Talk - A Modest Proposal,  David Bohannon explaining a scientific concept through dance and although didn't expect them to bring that exactly into the small space in front of the whiteboard, I did expect some imagination and creativity so they would at least think about presenting their ideas differently.  I got it.  I had Y7s playing music, rapping, singing, role playing and making art in stead of reading their dry power points.

Click here for more inspiration

When I start teaching the IB English A Language & Literature course (International Baccalaureate site) and all that it involves, the following TED Talk - Jay Walker on the World's English Mania is a marvellous introduction and discussion point for my students to start thinking about the way English is used around the world.  

When I became aware that TEDx was coming to Hong Kong to talk about education I quickly registered and bought my early bird ticket in order to secure my place.  

The event in Quarry Bay was from 10am - 4pm and we were encouraged to register by 9am to ensure a seat.  I felt it would be quite a test of our dwindling concentration spans as I read the itinerary.  As any teacher knows keeping the attention of an audience involves short bursts of information with a variety of ever changing strategies to hold their interest.   Overall this was achieved and the clever addition of the most coordinated man on the planet, Chris Brien and his percussion group 'Tribe' was inspired.  Of course he didn't just perform, he explained his notion that rhythm can bring out creativity, improve IQ levels and boost the immune system  Mozambique Drum Lesson 40 .

I obeyed the instructions and  got there early to take my seat on the 1/F.  It was announced that there were 1000 people attending the event which was actually in the space of the Island Evangelical Community Church and on two floors.  1/F where the stage was with the real live speakers, and 2/F where it was streamed onto to screens.  The rooms were very nicely appointed but surely there are bigger spaces in Hong Kong where everyone could be seated on the same floor?  

When it came to a break and my entitlement to a free drink, I felt that in the short time and given the amount of people, would mean there was no chance to join that queue as well as the queue for the ladies toilets!  Good job I'd brought my own.

I have a feeling that God had kind of sneaked into this event through the back door.   But we were sat in a church so may be he did use the same entrance as everyone else?  Brett Hillard the Senior Pastor of Island ECC spoke with ease, was engaging and certainly made this atheist think.   I was particularly impressed with his creative marketing and brochure ideas and am still allowing the phrase "If you are not failing you are not trying" run through my mind.  

I had my eyes opened by Julian Zhu, excuse the pun, to an organisation called Dialogue in the Dark

Activities to book which is, according to Trip Advisor, Hong Kong's most popular attraction.  DiD is an experiential venue to help understand what it is like to be visual impaired.  With a white cane in hand and eyes bound shut you are guided around a variety of every day places for 175 minutes. There are options for Eating in the Dark and Birthdays in the Dark.The summer holiday is coming up and I certainly intend to visit.

Merijn Everaarts was compelling regarding the epidemic of one use plastic containers used in Hong Kong and his illustrations and statistics really did bring home the message that we will soon drown in waste.  He has developed a sustainable plastic bottle called The Dopper and The Dopper Water & Waste Academy aims to empower citizens to take personal responsibility for reducing waste.  Note to self - tap water in Hong Kong is safe so why do I buy it in bottles?  

From a personal point of view I have been teaching in Hong Kong for 10 years now.  I did my PGCE at The University of Hong Kong and have worked in local schools.  The message I left HKU with was that I should be a 'change agent' and bring about change in the syllabus by incorporating new ways of teaching into the schools in Hong Kong where students are under a vast amount of pressure to pass exams and constant testing evades every waking hour.  Unfortunately the waking hours seem to be once the students are home and in the middle of the night.  Sleeping in class is so common it is acceptable behaviour.  Sleeping in the staff room is also acceptable.   I am not in the local system at the moment but I know that educational reform in Hong Kong is an up hill battle.  I cannot comprehend why any reform is resisted but find it a complete paradox that research regarding new ways of teaching in Hong Kong is blinkered.  The so called 'new ways' of teaching are not in any way new, they go on in the rest of the world as common good practice but in Hong Kong if they are not sitting in rows and passing or failing tests, are not under stress to complete after school tuition or are not carrying spine crushing bags they are not good students.   It was, therefore, with great interest and expectation  that when Sophie Leung took the stage with her tag line 'Instilling Hope to Students in a Skewed Education System' I thought I would hear something new.  She fell well short of the mark and was yet another Hong Kong voice of empty cliches with no actual concrete idea.  

Dr Yvonne Chiu was a very interesting speaker with an array of extremely complex ideas, notions and theories.  Since I returned from TEDx I have read more about her ideas, she made me curious and wanting more.  She had an impact on me.

Peter Kenny, who was last, and I guess was 'top of the bill' was extremely engaging and obviously used to the stage.  He spoke of inclusion, international schools and local schools building links to address the situation we currently have in Hong Kong of having huge waiting lists for international schools yet local primary schools closing down in the local system with not enough students to attend them.  My only complaint was that I wanted him to speak for longer.

CEO Reach Education Organization 

There were 13 speakers expressing their ideas about education in Hong Kong and asking us to question whether we are doing the right thing for children, the  city itself and the future.  Each segment will be available to the public via the recordings made on the day so everyone has the opportunity to listen. 

 

 

 

 

Beans on Toast - the best/correct/normal way?

Not enough toast

 It is a regular and important part of my week.  Without it my life would have less meaning.  The thought of never having it again fills me with horror and dread.  It would be an absolute hardship to do with out.  I just don't think I could.  A massive hole would appear in my life if they were to disappear tomorrow.  Imagining the processing plant had broken down and there were no more, evokes panic deep inside me and I have an urge to do an impression of Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.

Beans are not poured correctly and there should be four triangles of toast on the side.

The Comfort

Beans on Toast - is so very dear to me.  It can be a comfort, a life saver, its almost a friend when all around me have better things to do.

But it has to be right.  Those of you out there who may not be aware of the ritual of preparing this delicious, nutrious meal may be a little confused as to the stellar ranking this has among, dare I say it?  Yes I dare.  The British. 

First of all it has to be Heinz Beans, the baked type.  I am aware there are other brands and I am coming to terms with the fact that Heinz have tampered with their product over the years.  I am aware of the different varieties such as 'Organic' or 'With sausages' and I've heard through the grapevine that it is possible to buy a variety which has an affiliation with Branston Pickle.  Be that as it may, for me, it must only be the pure beans. 

No toast under the beans is just wrong.

The Heating

The temperature must be hot.  They must be brought to the boil so they bubble around the edge of the pan, even a little sizzling is acceptable, after which a stir is permissible so ensure a uniform temperature for every bean.  Too cool and they don't perform their duty later once poured over the toast.  Too hot and they begin to change their consistency and I don't like that.

Once the Heinz Baked Beans are in the pan.  Oh and they must be heated in a pan, not warmed up in the microwave because that doesn't result in the same textural consistency that I consider to be right and proper, the toast can be put in the toaster.

I understand that people like the addition of cheese, but not me.  Why are both slices of toast whole?

This is just plain lazy workmanship.

The Toast

I am very happy with a medium width of brown toast from a pre sliced loaf.  There was a time when it had to be Mother's Pride White sliced but I have reached a heady level of sophistication regarding my bread and so brown it has to be.  I do lament the loss of an eye level grill, a gas powered one to be precise because I feel it used to be possible to coordinate the readiness of the toast with the readiness of the beans in a much more accurate way, plus the toast tastes so much better when cooked on a gas grill.  But alas I have no such device so I must make do with an electric toaster.

The only beans are Heinz - but again standards are just not high enough with the presentation of the toast.

The hot toast needs to snatched immediately upon the pop-up.  Its taken as read that it is brown at this point, if not, one more session in the toaster is essential to get the crisp toast required for application of said beans.

Butter the two slices of toast briskly.  Time is of the essence now. I stress it has to be butter and to be perfect, Lurpak. 

I hope Santa brings me one of these...

The Presentation

Take a dinner plate and place one hot slice of buttered toast in the centre.  With the second slice of hot buttered toast cut it into four triangular shapes and place the four triangles around the whole slice thus creating an attractive, eye catching design to please all class of consumer.  Once the arrangement is in place the hot beans can be poured, with love, over the top.  The pour must be in the middle of the whole piece of toast and the must spill, temptingly over the little triangles.  But they must not cover the triangles leaving them crispy while the middle, whole bit of toast, gets a bit soggy just before serving.  It is acceptable form to pour a little of the bean juice down the sink before pouring over the toast to prevent over sogginess.  There is an optimum level of sogginess and that is not too soggy.  This is just a little chefs tip I'm throwing for free here.

Oh no

The Eating Part

Once the plate is assembled then eating must begin forthwith so that the eating temperature is perfect.  A knife and fork should be used to create sumptuous little mouth fulls of part toast, part bean and it is perfectly acceptable to squash the beans onto the toast whilst on the fork with a little bit of pressure.  This results in a lovely, squishy texture for eating.

I used to dream of having an eye level grill

Extra Toast

Sometimes, I feel, that one tin of beans is too many for two slices of toast.  But two slices of toast is what my toaster produces as standard.  Once the eating process has begun it may become clear that I will need one more slice in order to eat the beans because, obviously, I cannot eat the beans if the toast runs out before the beans are finished.  If I judge, half way through, that I'm going to need a third slice then it is permissible to slip in that cheeky extra slice. 

The timing is a little tricky at this point.  It is important to keep on eating the serving of beans on toast currently on the plate while popping back to the toaster mid-way to catch the hot toast, butter it, and whack it on the plate so that the, still hot, beans can be eaten and enjoyed the way they should be.

The Drink

There are two acceptable drinks to go with beans on toast and that depends on your age.  If you are under 18 it is Robinson's Orange Squash.  If you are over 18 it is a cup of tea. 

Some consumers lower themselves to buying beans that are, horror or horrors, supermarket own brand.  But its not right.  Get a grip of yourself and only buy Heinz.  I also understand that some people like to grate cheese over their beans, or perhaps add a dash of Worcestershire Sauce, or even a grilled rasher of bacon on the side.  All of these are a mystery to me and frankly just wrong.

How do you like yours?

 

Viz Educational Recruitment

Viz Adult Comic

 

I just had to share these spoof adverts from this months Viz.  I am thinking of applying!

 

Rutland Council Schools Service

WANTED

Large-Breasted Female English Teacher   24-30K

A busy boys-only secondary school in Oakham is seeking a new English teacher.  The appointee will have a good knowledge of 20th Century English Literature, familiarity with the requirements of the National Curriculum and a flimsy blouse, straining at the buttons.

Main duties will involve providing masturbatory inspiration for boys in Years 9, 10 and 11, as well as subject matter for crudely-drawn desk-lid graffiti.  An existing rumour about having posed for pornographic photographs on the internet would be an advantage but is not essential, as this will start following the first assembly the successful applicant attends.

For an application form contact Mr Geoff Plywood, Deputy Head, St. Oswalds High Street, Rutland

"Helping Pupils Maximise Achievement of their Individual Potential" 

Rutland Council Schools Service

or

 

Redditch County Council require a

Bitter, Jaded Geography Teacher

Grade 2  38-41K pa

Redditch County Council are seeking a tired, disenchanted professional to go through the motions of teaching geography A level at a comprehensive school in the borough.

We're looking for someone with a complete lack of drive and ambition to sit in front of a class, drinking coffee for up to 40 minutes at a time.  The successful candidate will have:-

• a farcial record of absenteeism
• given every piece of homework he has ever marked 7/10 without reading it
• absolutely no desire for promotion
• not changed his lesson plans for at least 15 years

In addition he will be cynically counting the days to the earliest opportunity he has to take early retirement on the grounds of ill health whilst retaining his full pension entitlement.

If this sounds like you, then reply enclosing the same CV you had in 1976 to Mrs Audrey Frodsham, ref. V654, Town Hall Reddith RE5

Reddich Schools, more than just schools...Redditch Schools!

DV8 Physical Theatre Can We Talk About This?

DV8 Physical Theatre

Can We Talk About This?

 

This production is currently on in London DV8 Physical Theatre National Theatre, South Bank

 

"It is very, very easy not to be offended by a book.
You just have to shut it."
Salman Rushdie

 

 

I watched in awe as DV8, the physical theatre company from England, delivered a very powerful message about free speech, Islam and multiculturalism in the west.  Whilst contorting themselves around doorways, upside down - in fact many different positions and speeds, I felt totally refreshed after listening to their message which was utterly correct.  I almost I forgot I was in conservative Hong Kong. The performance was 1hr 20m with no intermission and I had no concept of the time, it held my attention throughout.

I am now contemplating changing my teaching technique to incorporate physical movements such as drinking tea while sat on the back of a large male colleague who manipulates me around his body or standing on my head to put on a pair of trousers - all movements and positions will be designed to keep my audience enthralled and I will not miss a cue or even trip slightly as my lesson is delivered and, essentially, my students will remember it once they leave the room.

My only criticism is that it is so rare to have the opportunity to see such a high standard of contemporary physical theatre in Hong Kong and I want more. (stamping of foot)

Socks - it's a mine field!

A law breaker

Are you fashion conscious?

Do you know how to coordinate colours?

Can you accurately tell what a fabric is just by touch?

Or do you simply not care what you look like, have no clue which colour contrasts with another, especially in the morning (then have to suffer it all day) , and constantly make shopping blunders which could be anything from getting the wrong size, wrong material or just plain wrong.

Fashion is a mine field.  There are so many choices to be made not only when shopping for new clothes but every single morning when the wardrobe doors are opened and items must be selected, obviously depending on what's in the wash.

It is the small accessories that can add a certain je ne sais quoi to any outfit.  That statement jewelry, the correctly placed belt or the right shoes can have a dramatic effect.  But the one item which can make or break an outfit is the in the foot area and if the choice of foot ware is wrong you are in serious danger of being ostracised by society and labelled as a total loser.

You think I exaggerate? I do not.  There are so many unwritten rules about sock wearing and I feel it my duty to explain a few points to you all.

No Socks with Sandals - it's the law

The sock wearing rule about wearing socks with sandals should never, under any circumstances, be broken.  If you still do not know about this one and are wondering why people point and laugh at you in the street, why your children walk six paces behind you and you are constantly drinking alone then look at your feet.  Are you an offender?  Are you wearing sandals because the weather has warmed up?  Yes would be a good answer especially in summer.  But have you omitted to leave your socks in the drawer?  Dear reader, even if you want to wear sandals but feel your feet will be cold or will be uncomfortable rubbing on the harsh newly purchased items you still cannot wear socks.  You must suffer cold feet and anything else that comes along because you must never break the sock wearing rule EVER!

Law breaker

Trainers and Sock Rule

If you are a sporty type person or wear trainers for comfort and fashion be aware of the sock wearing rule connected with trainers.  It used to be fine to wear a white ankle length sports sock with trainers.  It is not and never has been fine to wear any other colour of sock with trainers. But that was back in the 80's.  The more modern approach to sock wearing and trainers is the 'trainer sock'.  This is because the new law about sock wearing is that they have to be secret socks that, under any circumstances, must not show above the shoe.

Secret socks. Ssshh we are not really here

School Shoes Rule

As well as secret socks with trainers it has become an absolute crime for school girls to wear school shoes with socks that show above the shoe.  If mothers are not aware of this and are wondering why their daughter is unhappy in school, is sullen or sulky  try looking in her sock drawer.  This could be the answer to all future happiness in her school life.  It is absolutely essential to buy school shoes according to the school rules but also to buy socks according to the rule of socks.  Mums, learn this now, they must not show.  Girls, if your mum or your teacher makes you wear ankle socks that actually give away the fact that you are wearing socks the only alternative is to roll the sock down and flip it under your heel.  That is the method adopted by school girls who want to have friends.  It is a bit like rolling the waist band of your skirt up at the bus stop after you've left home and before you get to school.

This child is lonely and sad

There are other sock wearing rules that one must never break because if you do, the method of your sock wearing can change who you as a person.

Socks with flip flops - makes you a complete idiot.

utterly ridiculous

Knee high socks - for women over the age of 10, makes you a complete flibbertigibbet.

 

Flibbertigibbet

White socks dark shoes, oh no!

For men the pairing of a white sock and a formal dark shoe makes you an untrustworthy car salesman type and people will call you a plonker to your face. If you are actually a car salesmen you will probably not sell many cars unless it is to other white sock wearing/dark shoe wearing men.

Oi Rodney! You plonker

Cartoon Socks - zany?

Cartoon socks are in the same category as cartoon ties.  Must only be worn by male primary school teachers on specified 'fun days' other than that they should be designated to the back of the drawer and forgotten about.  I know people think they are a fun stocking filler at Christmas but they are never meant to be worn by grown males. If worn it makes you a zany fun loving guy, which really means a complete tosser.

Keep them in the back of the drawer for ever

Holes (or potaoes) 

Then there is the most heinous of crimes.  You may have got the length right.  You may have got the colour right.  But your chosen socks for the day have holes in them and, god forbid, you are required to take your shoes off and expose your self as a total slob, loser or cretin who has let themselves go, has no self respect and probably is loved by no one not even your mother.  It is that critical.  Never never never wear socks with holes.

The unloved

Public Warning

Wear socks with due care and attention.  Your future happiness depends on it.

The Internet and me, a work in progress.

Dumber

Does the internet make us stupid?

It seems quite hypocritical of me to write a blog which is anti Google.  To write anything and publish it on the internet for all to share and read while at the same time be full of doubt and worry and concern about whether it makes us stupid could make me stupid too?

 But I am genuinely worried.

 
Click Here

Is the capability of finding information at the click of a button  really the best way to run ones life?

 Who is Accountable?

The number one question has to be about trust.  Do you trust the information you are taken to?  Is it up to date?  Is it ethical?  Is it accountable?  Newspapers can be taken to Court for slander or liable if they do not report the truth.  They are accountable whatever you think of them, even the News of the World  or even South China Morning Post (actually I need to check that!).   But any old slapper can write an article and whack it up on a  website and pass it off as being true.  People can pretend to be someone else and actively try to hide their identity.  (My name IS Lesley Croft btw).

Close Your Lid

As a teacher of students who all have their own MacBook on their desk and have the capability of googling anything.  I suspect that they have all become completely addicted to their computers and are a bunch of slovenly layabouts who can't even do any thinking for themselves. The recent best seller by Nicholas Carr called The Shallows  suggests that the use of the internet is altering the way we think and we have become less able to digest large and complex amounts of information such as...books.  Are we now a world of 'slacktivists'.  More about Nicholas Carr

"Should we reintroduce the death penalty?" I ask my class in an attempt to spark a discussion where opinions will be flying around the room like electricity. (not meant to be a pun)

Then I find a student who has typed the question into google and sets about opening up the squillion results to find the right answer.  FGS (I'm not sure if that is a cool and hip acronym to write, like LOL, but For God's Sake comes natural to me so I feel it is worthy of a FGS).  Use your own brain I yell!  Close your lid!

Shirley Turkle has expressed much the same concerns in her book, Alone Together Why we Expect more from Technology and Less from Each Other.  Because when it boils down to it using the powerful tool that is the internet via your lap top or your blackberry or your iphone is just you, in a room alone.  You/we/me enjoy the contact and communication and sense of sharing we can get through the power of the internet.  As humans we want to share and we get immense enjoyment out of sharing.  This must be true otherwise why would Facebook or Twitter or the capability to comment on any random YouTube video be so popular?   But would we enjoy it more or less if we had that face to face communication as easily. In this world of social networking just how sociable are we really?

Hello FB Friends!  Come to my party

So if I was in a real live room with all my real live friends on Facebook would I be so keen to like them or comment on their new hat or latest holiday snaps?  I predict there would be lots of moments of awkwardness, perhaps a few stifled yawns where the latest photos of their latest meal would get the better of me.  Would I really be able to show the same enthusiasm towards their beautiful wife on her birthday.  In the past those sentiments would only be shared in a personal birthday card which would stand on the sideboard.  Now everyone gets to read it!   I would struggle to remember names.  And there would be at least one full-on-punches-and-everything-thrown fight, quite a few slanging matches not to mention one or two intimate, yet flirtatious, conversations in a few dark corners.  And because all of these people are my friends I would be responsible for such an event and be the one who is blamed for the disaster that would be a party.

Those Where The Days

In my day when there was no internet or mobile phone or even a phone in the house.   What did I do?  I watched the three available channels on the telly, once they came on in the evening.  Before that I read as many Enid Blyton books as I could get my hands on.  I knocked on the doors of my friends to see if they wanted to come out to play.  All friends lived no more than 100 yards away.  When the local paper came I read that and found out what was happening in the area approximately of a 50 mile radius of where I lived.  For a change we would walk to the chip shop, sometimes we would have money to buy chips.  When I got older and could venture to Stockton to buy music I brought home 45rpm singles and played them on repeat with the arm back on the record player so I would learn them by heart (ask me to sing Puppy Love by Donny Osmond).

You know what, it was boring compared to the information sharing, movies, music and breaking news we have available to us now so perhaps this 'real world' that many hark back to is an illusion and just never really existed?  Being in a room alone with a computer seems much more attractive to being in a room alone with a Danset record player and a Donny Osmond 45.

 

Memories of King Kowloon - Exhibition TaiKoo Place

 


  Exhibition - 20th April - 31st May 2011  10am - 8pm

  Venue - ArtisTree  1/F Cornwall House, TaiKoo Place    FREE ADMISSION

  Nearest MTR  Quarry Bay

This History behind the man

This exhibition is a well thought out informative history of one of Hong Kong's most loved graffiti artists. Long before Banksy had even cut his first stencil Tsang Tsou-choi was using traditional Chinese calligraphy, with ink and a paint brush, to write his message on public spaces for the world to read.   Of course being unable to read Chinese the message, up until now, has been lost on me. 

Royal Blood

Now that the exhibition has enlightened me I know that he thought himself the rightful royal ruler of the Kowloon peninsula and his messages demanded he should be given total rule of all of Kowloon.  He objected to Elizabeth 1 being the colonial ruler so his first messages were addressed to her.  After the handover things didn't go quite as he expected and so he had to continue painting his messages for all to see.  After 1997 they were aimed at the Chinese government and he continued to claim that he was in fact the King of Kowloon.  He was still waiting for tax to be paid to him from Donald Tsang upon his death.  Tsang never replied to his tax demand which was painted on a wall in Kowloon!

It is estimated that over 51 years of scribbling in 80 locations over Hong Kong he generated 55,845 pieces of work and used 1,170 litres of ink. 

The Exhibition

The rooms are darkened with well lit exhibits not only of his work, of which there is miles, but of various artifacts from his life that have been preserved for posterity.  Some quite mundane memorabilia such as old felt tip pens and empty ink bottles claimed to belong to the King.  G.O.D. now uses some of his ideas and sells them as trendy items in their shops.  They have an alarm clock and a t-shirt adorned with the Kings calligraphy, now hot fashion items.  Buy now while stocks last!

Space Invader

During his lifetime his fame spread around the world and he was visited by Space Invader - graffiti artist , a famous American graffiti artist who placed one of his tile designs on the wall of the old folks home where he lived.  This has now been removed and is carefully displayed.  I am reliably informed this is worth thousands these days.

Local Talent

Students from local schools have used King Kowloon as inspiration for their own work and this is also on display and well worth a look.  Who says Hong Kong students cannot be creative? 

 

 

Ritz Carlton - World's Highest Hotel, Hong Kong

Ritz Carlton Hong Kong

The Ritz Carlton Hotel is situated on 1 Austin Road, Kowloon.  It is the highest hotel in the world.

More tea? 

It is 1,600 ft high although I have a strong suspicion that it won't hold the record for long because someone somewhere will get all competitive and want to go to even giddier heights.  The second, third and fourth highest hotels are in, surprise surprise, Dubai.

Flower arrangement Ritz Carlton The Lounge 
 
Even though this building is even higher than the famous IFC (1364ft) I hadn't even noticed it!  I put this down to being busy and having to go to work.  I thought it was just me who didn't know about its opening at the end of March but no, I got in a taxi in Jordon and asked for "Ritz Carlton, 1 Austin Road m goi"  I got the standard response 'Ha!'  At first he attempted to drop me off at BP International House also on Austin Road but come on, it didn't even sound a bit like Ritz Carlton and is not very high at all!  After one of those fraught journeys where the taxi driver talks on the phone in a confused way and gives you no confidence in actually getting to your destination he eventually made it and we ended as friends.

Before

 After ...
 
HOW TO GET THERE

For future reference ask for Elements Shopping Mall and the Ritz Carlton is actually situated at the top of a building called International Commerce Centre ICC which is the last building on the road - THE TALLEST ONE!  The hotel is actually perched on the top of the ICC on floors 102 to 118 and afternoon tea involves a lift ride with only stop from zero to floor 103 (it took ages and my ears popped) then a short escalator down one floor to The Lounge.

It is beautifully decorated with amazing views - obviously.  The tea involves everything you'd expect - three tiered plate full of goodies and copious amounts of tea from a wide choice.

For an extra thrill you can go even higher to the bar on floor 118 Ozone which even has a partly open area and yesterday there was quite a chilly breeze blowing around there.  I thought I was being quite brave getting close to the edge and looking down.  Gulp!

 
Afternoon Tea at the Ritz Carlton, Hong Kong 

The closest building on the right is the IFC, Hong Kong Side, across the harbour is the ICC - can you see me waving?

 

Another Year directed by Mike Leigh

THE MIKE LEIGH TECHNIQUE

I love the fact that Mike Leigh doesn't let the actors of his films have a script and the fact that he makes them develop the character themselves.  He sits them down and asks them a zillion questions about the character they will be, from what sort of breakfast did you eat as a child and how did you go to school to how you feel about your boss and how did you sleep last night.  Until the actor becomes the font of all knowledge for their character and will 'live' their character throughout their stint playing them.  Abigail's Party and Nuts in May are my favourites probably because Alison Steadman is in both of them.

BRITISH FILM IN HONG KONG

I look out for new work from Leigh and have been looking forward to seeing Another Year.  Eventually it came to Hong Kong after being released in the UK last year.  I am always keen to watch British films and adore the ordinariness of their portrayal of real life in all its mundane ways much more than the Hollywood razzmatazz. 

ANOTHER YEAR - REVIEW

World Exclusive Trailer - The Guardian

Another Year shows us the lives of Gerri and Tom, a middle-aged couple nearing retirement, and their year as the seasons change on their allotment.  Tom is a geologist and Gerri is a counsellor.  They are middle class and very comfortable in their cozy modern house and I want to tell you they have an Aga but I am not 100% sure, for arguments sake let's believe they do.  But the story is not really about them, its about their long  term friends Mary, a desperately sad and lonely woman who Gerri works with and Ken, Tom's old friend who is overweight and unhealthy with a potential drink problem.  The other character who is also taken into the kitchen (with Aga)  is Tom's brother who comes to stay after the death of his wife.

MARY

These three people are featured around the table of Gerri and Tom at various times during the year and their unhappiness is palpable. They are all in need of love and care at a time in their lives when none of them have a partner for various reasons.  Mary, in particular, is appealing to the couple for support and a slice of security in her shambolic life.  There is no doubt that Lesley Manville was utterly brilliant working in the Mike Leigh style and the audience can feel nothing but sympathy for her.

SUCH A REVOLTING COUPLE

I found the main characters of Tom and Gerri to be the most revolting  people.  They didn't entertain their friends, they merely  tolerated them.  They did not help them in any way apart  from feeding them and offering copious glasses of wine which was probably the last thing they needed.  Looking down their noses at their sad and lonely friends and just allowing them to get deeper into a  mire of self pity and mental health problems.   Gerri is the worst counsellor in the world and Tom has probably given up caring about his profession a long time ago given that retirement and more time on his allotment is looming. His sensitivity is actually cold and fake.

ORDINARILY BRITISH

It is a beautifully shot film and is British in its ordinariness, in a good way.  But I was so depressed at their lack of real care for their friends and I became more and more irritated by their superior stance of 'we are happy and you are not' attitude I wanted to take Mary and Ken and genuinely help them.  Really listen to their problems and really be supportive instead of a half arsed invitation for dinner during which nothing is really said and nothing is really changed.

 

 

Strawberry Picking - Hong Kong

Here I am snipping the strawberries

 

http://yl.com.hk/sbg/index.html

 

STRAWBERRY PICKING - SHA TAU KOK ROAD

Today I picked about 5lbs of strawberries on a pick-your-own-farm up towards Fanling in the New Territories.  In fact it's almost in China and there is the border with a policeman and a big sign saying Permit Holders Only'.  There is a big Buddhist temple on the right of Sha Tau Kok Road with many people burning paper offerings to their ancestors, some quite nice gardens with some carp swimming about although it could do with a clean and general prune.  One Buddhist temple is much like any other round these parts but this one has stalls with dried and fresh produce for sale.  The added bonus is the strawberry picking field.

My punnet (see below) cost $140 and right now I am making jam!

I would never have believed it possible but its really true.  It is strawberry picking for softies in that the plants are grown on plastic sheeting so no need to get any dirty soil on your Guccis plus they provide a handy pair of kiddie scissors for snipping the stalks.

 

A basket full of strawberries    $140 please

 As well as that I have now made organic carrot and corriander soup.  It's all good.

BREAKING NEWS - JAM IN JARS

Extra bonus addition to this blog - it is now Tuesday 5th April and the jam is now in jars.

The first attempt resulted in 4 jars of jam but it didn't set.  So I put two jars back in the pan, added apple skin and boiled for longer.  This resulted in set jam but it reduced down to only one jar.  It is yummy but in no way economical. 

Fairyland - Foot Massage and Hard Skin Removal - Shanghai

 

Feet

SOOTHING MASSAGE

After a tremendous amount of walking around Shanghai one Saturday on a weekend mini break our feet were throbbing and in need of some attention.  We didn't plan to visit Fairyland Health and Beauty on Nanjing Pedestrian Street, it seemed to find us.  I think it had a magnetic charm that lulled us up the stairs into completely unknown territory.  There was a short period of uncertainty until I was sure it was a respectable establishment because its just awful when it's not, don't you just hate it when that happens?

RELAXING MUSIC

In the blink of an eye we were made comfortable in a darkened room with relaxing music and our feet were soaked in fragrant water while the masseurs paid our shoulders much need attention.  A special bonus of a shoulder rub just to make up the time while the feet are cleansed and softened up ready for the foot massage.

HARD SKIN REMOVAL

The massage was excellent and I would have no reservations in recommending Fairyland if you are ever in need of stress relief and are in Shanghai at the same time.  But actually the best bit was the hard skin removal service.  For an extra 48 RMB a specially skilled man was summoned into the room yielding a blade.  Or was it a scalpel or was it an incredibly sharp chisel?  As I say it was a darkened room so it was hard to tell.  But the hard skin removal master was well equipped to work on feet in a darkened room.  He was wearing a head torch.  I guess he had a been boy scout when he was younger so was always prepared.  He set to work with the chisel and with the lightest touch he managed to  shave off what looked like snow flakes from my feet.  The towel was soon covered and I caught the masseurs looking sideways at each other at the surprising amount of dead skin building up as he dutifully shaved my feet.

The service was excellent, shoulder, feet and shaving of said feet. We floated out.  Wow!

Hard skin removal man wearing head torch

The man in the head torch made Fairyland an extra special experience and I want him to come and live in our house.

Lost Heaven, Yunnan Folk Cuisine, Shanghai

Yunnan Folk Cuisine Restaurant

http://www.lostheaven.com.cn/

Situated on Ya'an Dong Road, Shanghai this truly wonderful restaurant uses the flavours and ingredients of the Mountain Mekong Region to produce a spectacular menu. The dishes are influenced by flavours from Tibet, Burma, Thailand and the Yunnan Province of China.  The layout and decor is visually stunning and so is the menu and so are the chairs and so are the photographs displayed around the walls showing breathtaking images of the Yunnan area taken by David Hartung.  His photographs are also featured on the website if you care to check it out (Gallery).  But the nitty gritty of any restaurant, regardless of its lovely chairs and interesting toilets, is the food.  What does it taste like? 

I'll tell you. 

BEST FOOD EVER

At Lost Heaven I ate some of the best food I have ever had in my life.  It sounds like hyperbole and exaggeration doesn't it?  I really mean it.  I am being honest about the flavours.  So different, so refreshing and so scrumptious. 

The Yunnan Wild Vegetable Cakes (SEE PICTURE) served with a tomato relish were simple, beautiful. I enjoyed the chicken with seven spices as well as the mixed vegetables in a tamarind sauce.  The Crispy Pork was crispy, it was crackingly delicious.  The Tea Leaf Salad, a speciality dish from Burma, was the best dish which consisted of finely chopped, freshly picked tea leaf tips with a mixture of dried broad beans, peanuts and other yummy stuff.  I really don't know exactly what was in it I just know I needed to eat more of it. 

Lost Heaven gets a huge thumbs up from me.  When in Shanghai - go there.

Beautiful decor

The Hong Kong Literary Festival 2011 Benjamin Zephaniah

 

Benjamin Zephaniah

AN AUDIENCE WITH BEN PLUS HUNDREDS OF CHILDREN

In previous years I have seen authors talk about how they write and what they do to produce a book worthy of publication.  I am always interested in such a process having got to chapter seven of my own masterpiece but, so far, cannot find the wherewithal to continue to the end.  Authors sit in rooms with computers and write.  They usually work alone and so for the majority being in front of a large audience is not a natural environment.  Some can talk and be interesting, some can tell a story as well as write it, the opposite is sometimes, unfortunately true.  Some are not interesting and can't tell a story apart from when they are in their own room silently producing the written word.

A MAN OF MANY TALENTS

Benjamin Zephaniah is not soley a writer.  He is a performer.  Having an audience with him (and a few hundred school children) at this years literary festival was a wonderful experience.  His poetry is funny and accessable with a serious message.

I used to think nurses were women

I used to think police were all men

I used to think poets were boring

until I became one of them

 

You see what I mean?  Four lines, quite simple and straight forward but worthy of an analytical essay about the deeper meaning relating to feminism, class and stereotypical judgements in a post colonial voice.

A FUNNY MAN WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE

Zephaniah is funny.  He doesn't take himself seriously but he does take the world seriously.  His work carries a message about equality and justice for all, including turkeys.  He talks of racism and sexism and even vegatarinism.  The children were more than satisfied by his answers to their questions about what kind of car he drives to his twin sister's name and he deflected any questions about his dreadlocks, obviously he gets that a lot!

At 53 he is looking good.  I wonder if its being a rasta, being a vegan or being a kung fu expert?

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH  OBE?

He was awarded an OBE but declined to accept it.  Here is the poem about that time.

 

Smart big awards and prize money
Is killing off black poetry
It's not censors or dictators that are cutting up our art.
The lure of meeting royalty
And touching high society
Is damping creativity and eating at our heart.

The ancestors would turn in graves
Those poor black folk that once were slaves would wonder
How our souls were sold
And check our strategies,
The empire strikes back and waves
Tamed warriors bow on parades
When they have done what they've been told
They get their OBE's.

Don't take my word, go check the verse
Cause every laureate gets worse
A family that you cannot fault as muse will mess your mind,
And yeah, you may fatten your purse
And surely they will check you first when subjects need to be amused
With paid for prose and rhymes.

Take your prize, now write more,
Faster,
Fuck the truth
Now you're an actor do not fault your benefactor
Write, publish and review,
You look like a dreadlocks Rasta,
You look like a ghetto blaster,
But you can't diss your paymaster
And bite the hand that feeds you.

What happened to the verse of fire
Cursing cool the empire
What happened to the soul rebel that Marley had in mind,
This bloodstained, stolen empire rewards you and you conspire,
(Yes Marley said that time will tell)
Now look they've gone and joined.

We keep getting this beating
It's bad history repeating
It reminds me of those capitalists that say
'Look you have a choice,'
It's sick and self-defeating if our dispossessed keep weeping
And we give these awards meaning
But we end up with no voice.

 

 

 

Educating Rita (Lesley)

Julie Walters and Michael Caine 

Educating Rita

McAulay Studio,

Wan Chai

Hong Kong

26th February, 2011

Rita - Kim Haslam

Frank - Adam Harris

THE HONG KONG CAST

Educating Rita was performed at the McAulay Studio in Wan Chai with Adam Harris as Frank, the consistently inebriated professor who is charged with Rita, a working class girl with big ideas.  Rita, played by Kim Haslam, is a hairdresser who has signed up with The Open University to get herself an education.  Frank sets about teaching literary criticism to someone with no previous knowledge and we witness the change in Rita as education starts to work.

CONVINCING DRUNKENESS

The performance of both actors, the only people on the stage during the two acts, was truly excellent from the very convincing drunkenness to the Liverpudlian accent to the dusty books on the shelves and the illusion of the window to outside.

HAIR CUT SIR?

Adam's usual hairstyle fitted the part of geriatric hippie exactly and not wanting to be rude I won't mention the beard. But I'll take a risk just in case it was grown for this part, I'm sure he won't mind if I suggest that clean shaven, shorter hair would indeed take ten years off him!

AM I RITA?

I can really relate to Rita.  I think I am her.  You see I am an Open University product but was much older than 26 before it dawned on me that getting a degree would open some doors.  No one ever burnt my books or told me to stop though, everyone was extremely supportive and I couldn't have done it without the help of my family.

OPEN UNIVERSITY

But I wonder if an education is really the way forward these days, perhaps it's not? A degree is common place and in the UK equals a debt with no guarantee of a job.  My own children are heading that way and as much as I want them to have the experience of being there and experiencing 'life' as opposed to an Open University course where you study at home being extremely self disciplined and swotty (well I was!) the chance of a job at the end seems remote in the present economic climate.

MASTERS DEGREE - IS IT WISE?

So with this in mind I have quite rashly signed up to do a Masters Degree with, you've guessed it, The Open University.  I am into my third assignment and so far have found it excruciatingly boring mind numbingly dull and sleep inducing.  My scores are only just acceptable and there are periods of time when I am forced to say no to invitations out because I have to do my reading or essay writing.

Why? Why? Why?

IF SHE CAN DO IT WHY CAN'T I?

Right now I am doubting my ability to get through this Open University course.  Last night while watching Educating Rita I found myself wondering why it is so difficult for me, after all I have no alcoholic tutor or any pressure to have a baby, no one has ever burnt my assignments and I don't have a suicidal flatmate.  Get a grip Lesley!

 

Enell Sports Bra - Opera's favourite

I have a never ending quest to find a good sports bra.  A bra that I can wear for exercise.  A bra that will do what it says on the box.  To be explicit it is a bra that will support my breasts during a moderate to hard run, in a public place, and ensure that 'the girls' are kept under control throughout a bout of jumping jacks, spotty dogs and even skipping. 

I have tried lots, some good, some not so much.  Even if they are good to start with, after a few months of sweatie workouts, washing and drying they loose their support and turn into an overstretched grey rag.

I have not found any suitable sports bras that fulfill my needs in any shop in Hong Kong.  I have given up and taken to buying online.

My latest online purchase arrived from Ladiesonlysports.com and I tested it out today.  Ladies, ladies, ladies!  Success.  It was advertised as Opera Winfrey's favourite sports bra and if its good enough for Opera it's good enough for me.

To quote the advertising blurb - Enell Sports Bra is designed for well-endowed women.  It minimizes breast movement, eliminates chaffing and provides back support.  Trust me it really is fab.